Iroqi Communication Thread

[Provolution]

Tell them we are having a poll on iron working (which they can figure out themselves), and since it is a key technology, we need to have another poll. And emphasize there are no goody huts near at this point, so this may actually be an option, as we have an internal poll. But also tell that iron working is a more expensive technology than writing, and that it will cost them more than writing. Ask them to consider a generous gold donation with this trade and pass on the game. I think that is the best we can do.

When we strike their worker, we are still hands clean.

 

[Provolution]

Honorable Grand Vezeer Donsig

Finally, at our eve of triumph

Forget what I said just before.

We are now at war, we captured their lone worker, and we are now threatening their city Cruller, which of course has no garrison. I have a special request for this Declaration of War. I want a sort of entertaining newspeech to them, as a red cloth to their face. Cruller in Ironic is "Dar El Harb", land of war in Ironic language, as we are the nation of Irôn, with Irony as our language and ironic as our adjective.

We consider their nation as Iroq, or the Iroqi nation. I want a special picture sent with the Declaration of war, depicting a state gift of the Iroqi National Animal. We will also consider ending the war if they give us writing and become our loyal vassals.

Also tell them we have a massive resources and excellent organization to undertake this effort, and that we are quite certain our tactical skills are on level with theirs. Also tell them that Iroqi women love Dancing Bananas, for that is where these are going, to the No Named Land of Irôn. Please add the attached picture to the message for good humor. We give them the gift, Homer, the Iroqi Statesdog.

I want my signature added with yours, when you authored the letter.

Shahanshah Provolution

 

[Provolution]

So, should we tell them we can trade them masonry and a worker? lol

We don't really have any other techs to trade them, do we? Should we offer gold or should we just tell them we have nothing else to trade and be done with it?

Yeah, add the worker-masonry deal, as our Ironic civilian security consultant defense found significant gaps in their defenses, and our Wall (TM) defense contract would surely improve their wide open national security.... Haha, but keep your ancient and innocent style, I like it.

 

[Provolution]

Donsig

Please also time the message and send it only when Team Kiss have had it for some 8 hours or so, in order to minimize their logistical planning and response time. Then we press them on time if they ask for too many delays. This is pure PsyOps and worthwile, so please hold back the Declaration of War till KISS had it for 6-8 hours.
Also mention that the Ironic people decided to take the course of war over trade this time.

 

[Provolution]

Due to the attempted legal coup by a couple of the other teams, please hold the Declaration of War till Team KISS holds the save and wait 6-8 hours. In a sense, their legal and misguided acrobatics will serve as a veil to the initiation of the war, and divert their intellectual resouces into legal and linguistical acrobatics.

 

[donsig]

I will send no communique to the donuts under these circumstances. A state of war exists - we will tell them about it before their turn or not, it doesn't matter. For now we will maintain silence as we address the rule issue.

 

[Provolution]

Communiquee from the Iroqis. Donsig, can you please collect the official correspondence between our two nations in a single thread, with no comments, and ask for a thread?

To the barbarians of TNT,

It never ceases to amaze me how men think with other parts of the
anatomy instead of their brains. I guess its our fault really, we
should have known that the men of your nation had no self control.
When we overheard your band of warrior's talking about how sore they
were from constantly having to bend over, we should have realised your
friendly intentions would quickly disappear when presented with an
opportunity. I have no doubt had it been a heard of goats and not our
beautiful women you would have abducted them instead. We are saddened
by these turn of events as we saw an opportunity to work together for
our mutual benefit that would have ensured domination for both our
nations, you see this first trade was a test of your trustworthiness
before we opened our arms to your nation, you see we are more advanced
technologically than your feeble intellect can obviously comprehend,
had you joined with us they would have been yours to share as we had
planned an alliance with you, no matter the other nations want to join
with us so in the end its your loss really. Now one thing i don't
understand is this accusation of cheating we were suppose to have made
against you, as far as i'm aware, no one from Doughnutia has ever made
such a claim, anyhow that is a moot point since you said that we
shouldn't make claims unless we have Code of Laws, the thing is
donsig, we do have CoL so by your logic we are entitled to accuse you
of cheating. I suppose we shall not hear from you again, unless you
would like to return our women and leave our territory, but i don't
see that happening, then i look forward to seeing you in person when
my foot is standing on your head as our great Doughnutian army wipes
your cities from the map once and for all. The only thing that will
save you is if your people learn how to swim as no mercy will be shown
if you continue your barbaric actions.


Robi D

 

[Provolution]

It seems they say they had the best intentions. Well, that may be the case, but as I understand it, this game is last man standing. The only way to use our immortals was to use them here.

However, we can justify the war with the alphabet village we found, their massacre of their own town, the treatment of their women, the shamans from the other continent sending their curses on us and so on and so forth. For humor, we can comment their goats.. Like WHERE????????. We can also point out or superbly strong military leadership and that our forces are supreme to anything they have ever seen.

But people, if we are to make peace ever again with Doughnutia, now is the time, if we continue the war now, we can as well finish it. So please comment on this war, finish it, or should we end it. I mean we got a great chance to win it.

 

[TimBentley]

Looks like they are probably trying for the republic slingshot. Great Doughnutian army...our 6 warrior army is average compared to theirs, our military advisor believes.

 

[Provolution]

Indeed, and we are so close to iron and iron upgrades of warriors per 3 t and barracks and immortal builds. I say we send a 6-7 stack down after them, trimming our own defenses. 6 cities got 24 free upkeep,so we can produce a lot.

 

[donsig]

TimBentley played turn 41 and reported that the Iroqi offered us peace straight up.

They also made an official reply to our declaration of war. (Not sure if that's been posted in this thread yet...) The only thing worthy of note in that reply was their claim to have Code of Laws already.

It is time we send them another message acknowledging both their last message and their recent offer to spare us their wrath. I say it's time we demand proper tribute from them. What do we want from them? (I mean aside from their total subjugation and incorporation into Ironic society.)

 

[vbraun]

They must be in a really bad postition...

Or there trying to trick us...

 

[Provolution]

They ARE in a really bad situation. And we can take them out in 30 turns,

 

[Strider]

So the question is, do we accept there Peace Treaty or do we ignore there offer and keep the war going?

I say we keep the war going, let's wipe them off the map before we meet the other civilizations.

 

[donsig]

Greetings Robi D,

My people are dismayed at your continued accusations. Our men rescued your Iroqi women they did not abduct them. Recent events in what was once the town of Cruller have made it plain just why those poor defenseless women needed rescuing! The massacre of your own towns people places shame upon all Iroqi men. My people are appalled at such barbaric behaviour. Among the men of my country there is great fervor to rescue other Iroqi women and cities before more such atrocities can occur.

My people may not be as smart as yours - we cannot draw sounds, we cannot make rules and we do not know what a map is. But we do have honor! And we listen to the spirits and let them guide us down the proper road in life. Your people have forsaken the spirits and now walk a tortuous path.

My people have recieved your cowardly offer of peace and have heartily rejected it. The fact that you want peace but do not even offer us so much as a single goat would be amusing if it weren't so pitiful. Do not offer peace again until your people are willing to pay a decent and sizeable tribute.

donsig

feedback please...

 

[Strider]

Possibly include what we would be willing to take for peace. Maybe(?) include the following:

"Our elders have decided to end your barbaric ways by peace or by force. We will accept the complete integration of your civilization under the rulership of ours. If you refuse such, then we will integrate our civilizations by conquest."

 

[greekguy]

we should kill them off. then we will have all the donuts.

 

[donsig]

donsig,


We have received the latest save and have opened it up to find an offer of peace from TNT. Is this an error, joke, or serious as we have had no other correspondance to indicate this offer.

We want to know what the exact situation is before proceeding with our turn so if you or someone else can contact us asap

Thank you
Robi D

I think this is the F4 bug Rik mentioned in another thread. Here's the reply I'm sending:

Greetings Robi D,

The offer of peace you received from us is a total fabrication, no doubt concocted by some twisted Iroqi to further the discord between our peoples.

My people are dismayed at your continued accusations. Our men rescued your Iroqi women they did not abduct them. Recent events in what was once the town of Cruller have made it plain just why those poor defenseless women needed rescuing! The massacre of your own towns people places shame upon all Iroqi men. My people are appalled at such barbaric behaviour. Among the men of my country there is great fervor to rescue other Iroqi women and cities before more such atrocities can occur.

My people may not be as smart as yours - we cannot draw sounds, we cannot make rules and we do not know what a map is. But we do have honor! And we listen to the spirits and let them guide us down the proper road in life. Your people have forsaken the spirits and now walk a tortuous path.

My people have recieved your cowardly offer of peace and have heartily rejected it. The fact that you want peace but do not even offer us so much as a single goat would be amusing if it weren't so pitiful. Do not offer peace again until your people are willing to pay a decent and sizeable tribute. If your refuse to pay us tribute befitting our powerful status we will end your barbaric ways by integrating your puny civilization into ours through conquest.

donsig

 

[Strider]

Looks fine to me, send it ASAP!

 

[Provolution]

sounds great Donsig, send it