Gunner
Emperor
Sounds nice and mean. I like it.
Iroqi Communication Thread
- Thread starter Provolution
- Start date
It seems they figured out how we will just attack them after the 20 turns are over 
And I presume their 'reasonable terms' means straight up peace. As such our chances of getting peace on (from our view) acceptable terms are tiny, so we might as well try to intimidate and scare them, and this message works just excellent to do that.
And I presume their 'reasonable terms' means straight up peace. As such our chances of getting peace on (from our view) acceptable terms are tiny, so we might as well try to intimidate and scare them, and this message works just excellent to do that.
donsig
Low level intermediary
This is the reply that was sent:
Greetings Robi D,
You forget that the current price of peace includes map making, 2 gpt and a worker as well as writing, code of laws and 10 gold. Your people would do well to remember all the terms. Perhaps you should write them down somewhere. I would do that for you but I know not how. Funny though how I can remember all these details without your fine technologies.
If your people think that twenty turns of peace is pointless then we will not debate the issue. We will only tell you that the longer you take to submit, the higher the price you will pay for peace in the end. Showing us proper respect now will make subsequent terms more lenient whereas continued resistance will bring progressively harsher terms.
Choose wisely.
donsig
Greetings Robi D,
You forget that the current price of peace includes map making, 2 gpt and a worker as well as writing, code of laws and 10 gold. Your people would do well to remember all the terms. Perhaps you should write them down somewhere. I would do that for you but I know not how. Funny though how I can remember all these details without your fine technologies.
If your people think that twenty turns of peace is pointless then we will not debate the issue. We will only tell you that the longer you take to submit, the higher the price you will pay for peace in the end. Showing us proper respect now will make subsequent terms more lenient whereas continued resistance will bring progressively harsher terms.
Choose wisely.
donsig
donsig
Low level intermediary
This was in the subject heading of the e-mail from the donuts containing the turn 61 save:
Stop by for a coffee if your going to be in the neighbourhood
Stop by for a coffee if your going to be in the neighbourhood
donsig
Low level intermediary
There's gotta be a good zinger we can use as a comeback. Coffee - doughnuts. I know there's something there we can use. Do we have an official team comedy writer yet?
donsig
Low level intermediary
Battle log looks fine.
Here's ours:
One of our immortals continues to chase after your warriors. No damge done to either unit though the immortal did stub his toe climbing those rugged mountains.
Thanks for the coffee. Will try to stop by again soon. Next time please serve some doughnuts with that coffee.
donsig
Here's ours:
One of our immortals continues to chase after your warriors. No damge done to either unit though the immortal did stub his toe climbing those rugged mountains.
Thanks for the coffee. Will try to stop by again soon. Next time please serve some doughnuts with that coffee.
donsig
donsig
Low level intermediary
We need to open up a channel of communications with the donuts. We started this war thinking we were going to kick their puny little butts all over the place and now we should be realizing that is not going to happen. We can profit greatly by this war but we must face the fact that we will not conquer Iroq quickly - if at all. If we do not conquer them we must accept the fact that the day will come when we must make peace with them. Our diplomatic relations with them have not been very, well, diplomatic. We must begin to repair that damage.
I'm not suggesting any *official* communication with Iroq. Since I'm still the *official* ambassador to the nuts and I'm also playing the turns and conducting the war against them and did most of the diplomatic damage there's no point in me approaching them. Besides, we are taking the war seriously and want them to know that.
What we need is a team member to establish some *unofficial* contact with the donuts. I'm envisioning a back channel that could be used to prep them for a favorable peace should we desire to end the war. I'm looking for someone to approach a select nut team member (or members) via private message and open up an *off the record* conversation. The idea is this volunteer would *make friends* with the nuts and then (if need be) the volunteer can eventually become the official ambassador to the nuts and spearhead peace negotiations. Perhaps this volunteer could even get a feel for how the nuts are felling about the war, maybe we can gain some valuable intelligence. So this is a special ops kind of mission. We have a good cover story. The volunteer can claim to be dissatisfied with the war and can even claim to be hoping to establish contact in hopes of making peace someday. (The more truth to the cover story the easier it will be believed.) Anyway, the volunteer can try to convince the nuts that I've taken control of the *government* and I'm doing things all my way. Old timers like Octavian X who were around for DG3 term 3 will buy this big time. Let the nuts think most of our team really wants peace. That way we can get a feel for how they feel about the war. Do they want peace, are they scared, are they confident, etc. The contact has to be through pms in order to keep it secret from me (the evil dictator) so the cover story won't be blown.
Comments on this idea? Volunteers? Remember if you volunteer and are caught we will have to disavow any knowledge of you or your mission.
I'm not suggesting any *official* communication with Iroq. Since I'm still the *official* ambassador to the nuts and I'm also playing the turns and conducting the war against them and did most of the diplomatic damage there's no point in me approaching them. Besides, we are taking the war seriously and want them to know that.
What we need is a team member to establish some *unofficial* contact with the donuts. I'm envisioning a back channel that could be used to prep them for a favorable peace should we desire to end the war. I'm looking for someone to approach a select nut team member (or members) via private message and open up an *off the record* conversation. The idea is this volunteer would *make friends* with the nuts and then (if need be) the volunteer can eventually become the official ambassador to the nuts and spearhead peace negotiations. Perhaps this volunteer could even get a feel for how the nuts are felling about the war, maybe we can gain some valuable intelligence. So this is a special ops kind of mission. We have a good cover story. The volunteer can claim to be dissatisfied with the war and can even claim to be hoping to establish contact in hopes of making peace someday. (The more truth to the cover story the easier it will be believed.) Anyway, the volunteer can try to convince the nuts that I've taken control of the *government* and I'm doing things all my way. Old timers like Octavian X who were around for DG3 term 3 will buy this big time. Let the nuts think most of our team really wants peace. That way we can get a feel for how they feel about the war. Do they want peace, are they scared, are they confident, etc. The contact has to be through pms in order to keep it secret from me (the evil dictator) so the cover story won't be blown.
Comments on this idea? Volunteers? Remember if you volunteer and are caught we will have to disavow any knowledge of you or your mission.
donsig
Low level intermediary
The following is in the subject heading of the e-mail with the turn 65 save.
You guys might want to change your demands for a peace treaty.
EDIT: Just opened the save. Their warrior moved onto the hill south of Semtex. That allowed them to see both Semtex and Dancing Banana undefended with none of our units in sight. They think they can put a hurting on us.
You guys might want to change your demands for a peace treaty.
EDIT: Just opened the save. Their warrior moved onto the hill south of Semtex. That allowed them to see both Semtex and Dancing Banana undefended with none of our units in sight. They think they can put a hurting on us.
donsig
Low level intermediary
Nobody said:Greetings Donsig representative of the No-named peoples,
I send you this Formal note to introduce myself as the new Foreign Affairs Console of the Doughnut lands. Although our nations are currently in a formal state of war, relating to your unprovoked act of aggression upon the doughnut people, and your subsequent invasion I still feel the need to introduce myself, so that in the future you will know whom to address diplomatic correspondence.
Recent negotiations between my predecessor and yourself have come to a brick wall, but I still remain hopeful the in future we may restart formal relations. My door is open anytime you wish to begin negotiations to this end. If at anytime you wish to make contact with myself you may do so by Private message, or emailing/messaging Greystar0@hotmail.com.
Fondness regards,
Always your obedient servant
Nobody Nobodazine
Foreign Affairs Consulate of Team Doughnut
Rec'd this private message today. We should send a reply to this. I'll draft one after playing our turn.
donsig
Low level intermediary
Greetings Foreign Affairs Consulate Nobody Nobodazine,
Please excuse the form of this message. My people still have not learned to draw sounds so I am forced to reply the old fashioned way, via slave messenger.
I must say I was quite surprised to recieve a messenger from the Iroqi, our war having gone on for so long. It is a wonderful time for both our peoples, is it not, thanks to this war which has cost both of us so little. I am dismayed that your message refers to our supposed unprovoked act of aggression and subsequent invasion. As you must know we merely rescued some of your women from the Massacre of Cruller. I hardly call that an unprovoked act of aggression. As to our subsequent invasion, I fail to see how the puny force we sent towards your lands could be considered an invasion! Throughout this entire *war* it is the Iroqi who have been the agressors. It was and Iroqi war party that attacked and killed our little band of explorers led by Xerxes. It was crazed Iroqi warriors riding those four legged beasts who attacked the escort of the Ironic minister who was heading towards Iroq for a surprise state visit. The Ironic soldiers who valiantly perished on that hill will live on in Ironic memory forever. In their honor we have dubbed our soldiers Immortals.
Now we will admit that our great Shahanshah, Provolution, did go a tad overboard from time to time in his relations with your people and we can see how that may have contributed to some ill feelings between us, was it really a cause for war? Our Shahanshah has passed on. This is truly a golden age for both our peoples. Why spoil this glorious time with bloodshed?
The brick wall is no more. Let us try again to negotiate an end to our differences. We only ask for two things.
First, that your people treat us with the respect due to us. Your communique was a good start but accusing us of unwarranted aggression and invasion is neither respectful nor friendly.
Second, as is evidenced by the form of this message, you can see we are a backward people. Teach us to draw sounds. Teach us to ride the four legged beasts. Teach us the secrets of the Great Doughnut and His mystics. Do this and your people shall have twenty turns of peace.
We can offer no guarantees beyond those twenty turns. Your people can look upon this as a brick wall if they choose. They could also look at it as twenty turns that can be used to build ties between our two people, twenty turns to work together to form a friendship, twenty turns to prepare for another twenty turns of peace.
Since our differences erupted into armed conflict the world around us has grown. We now know there are other potential friends - and potential enemies - out there. We are not alone and perhaps we should realize that when it comes to this world we are truly on the same side.
I eagerly await your people's response.
donsig
Grand Vizeer of the Ironic people.
As always, feedback requested.
Please excuse the form of this message. My people still have not learned to draw sounds so I am forced to reply the old fashioned way, via slave messenger.
I must say I was quite surprised to recieve a messenger from the Iroqi, our war having gone on for so long. It is a wonderful time for both our peoples, is it not, thanks to this war which has cost both of us so little. I am dismayed that your message refers to our supposed unprovoked act of aggression and subsequent invasion. As you must know we merely rescued some of your women from the Massacre of Cruller. I hardly call that an unprovoked act of aggression. As to our subsequent invasion, I fail to see how the puny force we sent towards your lands could be considered an invasion! Throughout this entire *war* it is the Iroqi who have been the agressors. It was and Iroqi war party that attacked and killed our little band of explorers led by Xerxes. It was crazed Iroqi warriors riding those four legged beasts who attacked the escort of the Ironic minister who was heading towards Iroq for a surprise state visit. The Ironic soldiers who valiantly perished on that hill will live on in Ironic memory forever. In their honor we have dubbed our soldiers Immortals.
Now we will admit that our great Shahanshah, Provolution, did go a tad overboard from time to time in his relations with your people and we can see how that may have contributed to some ill feelings between us, was it really a cause for war? Our Shahanshah has passed on. This is truly a golden age for both our peoples. Why spoil this glorious time with bloodshed?
The brick wall is no more. Let us try again to negotiate an end to our differences. We only ask for two things.
First, that your people treat us with the respect due to us. Your communique was a good start but accusing us of unwarranted aggression and invasion is neither respectful nor friendly.
Second, as is evidenced by the form of this message, you can see we are a backward people. Teach us to draw sounds. Teach us to ride the four legged beasts. Teach us the secrets of the Great Doughnut and His mystics. Do this and your people shall have twenty turns of peace.
We can offer no guarantees beyond those twenty turns. Your people can look upon this as a brick wall if they choose. They could also look at it as twenty turns that can be used to build ties between our two people, twenty turns to work together to form a friendship, twenty turns to prepare for another twenty turns of peace.
Since our differences erupted into armed conflict the world around us has grown. We now know there are other potential friends - and potential enemies - out there. We are not alone and perhaps we should realize that when it comes to this world we are truly on the same side.
I eagerly await your people's response.
donsig
Grand Vizeer of the Ironic people.
As always, feedback requested.
I think we might as well realise that they won't give three techs for 20 turns of peace, if we make an outright demand in this way.donsig said:
I propose we instead say something like:
"Second, as is evidenced by the form of this message, you can see we are a backward people. But if there is to be peace between our people, we feel that we should have a more equal relationship. In order for this to be established you will have to teach us the secrets of some of your inventions, so that we can better understand you ways and customs."
This way we'll attempt to open up a door for a request of techs without giving them the impression of "a brick wall".
donsig
Low level intermediary
Theoden said:
Very good suggestion. I would change one word, replacing inventions with fine technologies. That phrase is from one of their first messages to us.
I also think we should keep a modified version of the Great Doughnut line. Have to change the next paragraph a bit, too. The sticking point last time was the guarantee beyond twenty turns."Second, as is evidenced by the form of this message, you can see we are a backward people. But if there is to be peace between our people, we feel that we should have a more equal relationship. Your people can draw sounds. Your people can ride the four legged beasts. Your people know the secrets of the Great Doughnut and His mystics. In order for this to be established you will have to teach us the secrets of some of your fine technologies, so that we can better understand you ways and customs.
Do these things and we will have twenty turns of peace. We can offer no guarantees beyond these twenty turns. Your people can look upon this as a brick wall if they choose. We would look upon it as twenty turns that can be used to build ties between our two peoples, twenty turns to work together to form a friendship, twenty turns to prepare for another twenty turns of peace."
donsig
Low level intermediary
Greetings Foreign Affairs Consulate Nobody Nobodazine,
Please excuse the form of this message. My people still have not learned to draw sounds so I am forced to reply the old fashioned way, via slave messenger.
I must say I was quite surprised to recieve a messenger from the Iroqi, our war having gone on for so long. It is a wonderful time for both our peoples, is it not, thanks to this war which has cost both of us so little. I am dismayed that your message refers to our supposed unprovoked act of aggression and subsequent invasion. As you must know we merely rescued some of your women from the Massacre of Cruller. I hardly call that an unprovoked act of aggression. As to our subsequent invasion, I fail to see how the puny force we sent towards your lands could be considered an invasion! Throughout this entire *war* it is the Iroqi who have been the agressors. It was and Iroqi war party that attacked and killed our little band of explorers led by Xerxes. It was Iroqi who razed the town of Cruller. It was crazed Iroqi warriors riding those four legged beasts who attacked the escort of the Ironic minister who was heading towards Iroq for a surprise state visit. It was Iroqi who ambushed our beloved Shahanshah Provolution as he sat guarding the Sacred Jungle. The Ironic soldiers who valiantly perished on that hill and in the Sacred Jungle will live on in Ironic memory forever. In their honor we have dubbed our soldiers Immortals.
Now we will admit that our great Shahanshah, Provolution, did go a tad overboard from time to time in his relations with your people and we can see how that may have contributed to some ill feelings between us, was it really a cause for war? Our Shahanshah has passed on to immortality thanks to your crazed warriors riding those infernal four legged beasts. Yet this is truly a golden age for both our peoples. Why spoil this glorious time with more bloodshed?
The brick wall is no more. Let us try again to negotiate an end to our differences. We only ask for two things.
First, that your people treat us with the respect due to us. Your communique was a good start but accusing us of unwarranted aggression and invasion is neither respectful nor friendly.
Second, as is evidenced by the form of this message, you can see we are a backward people. But if there is to be peace between our people, we feel that we should have a more equal relationship. Your people can draw sounds. Your people can ride the four legged beasts. Your people know the secrets of the Great Doughnut and His mystics. In order for this to be established you will have to teach us the secrets of some of your fine technologies, so that we can better understand you ways and customs.
Do these things and we will have twenty turns of peace. We can offer no guarantees beyond these twenty turns. Your people can look upon this as a brick wall if they choose. We would look upon it as twenty turns that can be used to build ties between our two peoples, twenty turns to work together to form a friendship, twenty turns to prepare for another twenty turns of peace.
Since our differences erupted into armed conflict the world around us has grown. We now know there are other potential friends - and potential enemies - out there. We are not alone and perhaps we should realize that when it comes to this world we are truly on the same side.
I eagerly await your people's response.
donsig
Grand Vizeer of the Ironic people.
Please excuse the form of this message. My people still have not learned to draw sounds so I am forced to reply the old fashioned way, via slave messenger.
I must say I was quite surprised to recieve a messenger from the Iroqi, our war having gone on for so long. It is a wonderful time for both our peoples, is it not, thanks to this war which has cost both of us so little. I am dismayed that your message refers to our supposed unprovoked act of aggression and subsequent invasion. As you must know we merely rescued some of your women from the Massacre of Cruller. I hardly call that an unprovoked act of aggression. As to our subsequent invasion, I fail to see how the puny force we sent towards your lands could be considered an invasion! Throughout this entire *war* it is the Iroqi who have been the agressors. It was and Iroqi war party that attacked and killed our little band of explorers led by Xerxes. It was Iroqi who razed the town of Cruller. It was crazed Iroqi warriors riding those four legged beasts who attacked the escort of the Ironic minister who was heading towards Iroq for a surprise state visit. It was Iroqi who ambushed our beloved Shahanshah Provolution as he sat guarding the Sacred Jungle. The Ironic soldiers who valiantly perished on that hill and in the Sacred Jungle will live on in Ironic memory forever. In their honor we have dubbed our soldiers Immortals.
Now we will admit that our great Shahanshah, Provolution, did go a tad overboard from time to time in his relations with your people and we can see how that may have contributed to some ill feelings between us, was it really a cause for war? Our Shahanshah has passed on to immortality thanks to your crazed warriors riding those infernal four legged beasts. Yet this is truly a golden age for both our peoples. Why spoil this glorious time with more bloodshed?
The brick wall is no more. Let us try again to negotiate an end to our differences. We only ask for two things.
First, that your people treat us with the respect due to us. Your communique was a good start but accusing us of unwarranted aggression and invasion is neither respectful nor friendly.
Second, as is evidenced by the form of this message, you can see we are a backward people. But if there is to be peace between our people, we feel that we should have a more equal relationship. Your people can draw sounds. Your people can ride the four legged beasts. Your people know the secrets of the Great Doughnut and His mystics. In order for this to be established you will have to teach us the secrets of some of your fine technologies, so that we can better understand you ways and customs.
Do these things and we will have twenty turns of peace. We can offer no guarantees beyond these twenty turns. Your people can look upon this as a brick wall if they choose. We would look upon it as twenty turns that can be used to build ties between our two peoples, twenty turns to work together to form a friendship, twenty turns to prepare for another twenty turns of peace.
Since our differences erupted into armed conflict the world around us has grown. We now know there are other potential friends - and potential enemies - out there. We are not alone and perhaps we should realize that when it comes to this world we are truly on the same side.
I eagerly await your people's response.
donsig
Grand Vizeer of the Ironic people.
donsig
Low level intermediary
Nobody said:
Advice on how to reply would be appreciated. Note that the donuts will soon figure out we have a road through the jungle.
greekguy
Missed the Boat
I say we tell them they must accept our demands or peace will not be signed. They will of course say no, but we will be getting those techs from MIA in an upcoming trade deal, so it's no matter. We need to be forceful and try and convince them we still have the advantage in the war. Also warn them of a "Stack of Death" approaching their lands. this might scare them. 
greekguy
Missed the Boat
uhh, donsig, are you going to send a reply to them?
donsig
Low level intermediary
greekguy said:
Yep, I was holding off till they knew we no longer needed writing, horseback riding and ceremonail burial. Before moving on to my proposed reply here's a quote from another thread:
TimBentley said:
Since our old demands are moot I suggest we now ask for philosophy, code of laws and literature. My reply follows:
Dear Nobotti Nobodaroney,
As you can see from the form of this written message, we are no longer quite as backward as we once were. I'm sure a man of your position has already surmised that our latest, and I might add very generous, peace offer is now moot. Fear not, for our recently resumed peace process need not return to
. My people are quite happy to present new peace terms for your people's consideration.But first a misunderstanding or two must be clarified. We do not know what extort is but we do know what tribute is. We have maintained since the beginnings of hostilities that your people must pay us a token tribute if there is to be peace between us. That has not changed and will not change. Yes, in this world we are on the same side, and yes, our peoples can be friends - even partners - so long as Iron is the acknowledged leader of the partnership. Iroq can make this acknowledgement by paying the token tribute we ask. I offer my apologies if my last message led you to believe we could be equals.
The token tribute we ask for now consists of the following fine technologies: code of laws, literature and philosophy (a mere pittance). If your people are willing to give any of these for twenty turns of peace then we will happily continue to negotiate with you.
Finally, I am a bit puzzled by your insistance that we have technology you could use. What would this technology be? All we have to offer are a few gold coins.
If your people truly want peace then I am sure we will hear back from you soon. If not then we will surely meet on the battlefield.
Yours truly,
donsig
Grand Vizeer of the Ironic People
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