Is Asexuality a choice?

[Danielos]

Well, asexuality might also be a kind of defence mechanism.

If you are an unattractive person unable to get dates or intimacy, the most merciful thing for the body to do is to shut down your sexual urges so you could enjoy other aspects of life instead of degrading into a sexually frustrated mess.

 

[Kyriakos]

Not very far from what i meant, indeed i agree However my point was that such effects of conscious decisions of the past, can act as unwanted phenomena in the future, when the person is no longer of the view that he should shut down his/her sexuality.

 

[Ziggy Stardust]

Yes it is a choice. No one is forcing you to say: I do.

Future Father-in-law with big-ass shotgun not included.

 

[Truronian]

Asexuality is not a choice because attraction is not a choice. Pretty simple. Lucy's hunger analogy is pretty good one. Both hunger and horniness are desires that have evolved to try and manoeuvre us into passing on our genes (well, the other way around really ), while eating and sexing are choices we have to fulfil those desires.

You can choose to try and change your sexual preference, but that's a different ballgame.

Yeah, men who aren't lumberjacks, coal miners, or marines are estrogen-poisoned wusses.

Ideally you need to be holding down at least two of those professions.

 

[caketastydelish]

When did you choose to be heterosexual?

When I started liking teh boobies.

Lots of medical conditions can involve a loss of libido... in fact if I recall correctly you made a thread on the subject a while ago and people mentioned depression etc.

Low sex drive due to physiological or physchological disorder is not equivalent to a non-existent sexual orientation; the orientation is still there, just suppressed.

I did. And I actually was on medication for some time. But even before that I was still the same way.

 

[caketastydelish]

During the time you were asexual, it is possible that the advances from the chicks were fugly enough where your attraction was reduced to nil? LOL

I don't buy it dude. It is either you are gay (bi-curious?) or just suffered from some kind of a growth hormone insufficiency.

No they weren't ugly. I just didn't dig them. I'm not gay or bi. The latter could possibly be true though.

 

[Gustave5436]

Well, asexuality might also be a kind of defence mechanism.

If you are an unattractive person unable to get dates or intimacy, the most merciful thing for the body to do is to shut down your sexual urges so you could enjoy other aspects of life instead of degrading into a sexually frustrated mess.

Hence the psych disorders thing - not only depression but, for instance, avoidant personality disorder.

But then it's still not truly asexuality; just repressed sexuality.

 

[warpus]

I realize they are not the same thing. I simply belive that choice is indeed involved in both of them. Thats not a 'curious inability' to understand their differences, simply me pointing out a similarity I believe they share. As always, you are also entitled to your own opinion.

I don't understand how you can think that it is possible for individuals to de-program themselves out of having any sexual attraction at all, then.

Where are the medical studies documenting such abilities?

 

[MobBoss]

I don't understand how you can think that it is possible for individuals to de-program themselves out of having any sexual attraction at all, then.

Where are the medical studies documenting such abilities?

Because humans have an incredible ability to program (or de-program) themselves to a huge extent not really appreciated by most. Maybe the ability to do that is an adaptability trait or something, but people do have the ability to 'alter' their programming as it were.

Case in point: false memories for instance. There have been cases where individuals simply construct detailed memories of events....that never happened....and yet, they would swear they were true, pass a lie detector test in regards to it, etc.

Not that I am saying the false memory example is a good one because of the choice element (or lack thereof), but I merely offer it as an example of what is indeed possible. I think it absolutely possible for someone to become asexual by choice, just like I think it can be accomplished for any sexual preference.

The human mind is a truly amazing thing, and although we know a huge amount of data in regards to it, there is still a whole lot we dont know. And no, I am no expert in this, but this opinion is gleaned from helping my wife study for her advanced psychology courses for her masters, and just reading over some of the material covering this kind of stuff in helping her prepare for tests.

 

[LucyDuke]

Mobby, "we are very adaptable" is very different from "we explicitly choose our sexuality".

 

[Turner]

Yeah, I have to disagree that (a)sexuality is a choice. No one wants to be different, no one wants to stick out... If everyone had the choice, they wouldn't choose to ostracize themselves.

While it may not be genetic, it certainly isn't a choice.

 

[LucyDuke]

I don't think that that's always true all the time. (Teenagers are a notable example.) I don't, however, believe for one second that Ted Haggard and Larry Craig chose to be different.

 

[Eran of Arcadia]

If everyone had the choice, they wouldn't choose to ostracize themselves.

Asexuality in specific aside, I am not sure that is entirely true. Some people take pride in being different from the rest of society.

 

[Kerozine]

It's difficult to know for sure.

 

[Turner]

Asexuality in specific aside, I am not sure that is entirely true. Some people take pride in being different from the rest of society.

You're right, there is going to be a section of the population that enjoys being different form everyone else. I don't think it's fair to say tho that everyone who is different choose to be different because of that contrariness.

YMMV, of course.

 

[Eran of Arcadia]

You're right, there is going to be a section of the population that enjoys being different form everyone else. I don't think it's fair to say tho that everyone who is different choose to be different because of that contrariness.

YMMV, of course.

A small percentage, to be sure. Most people find they are different just because they are, and either don;t care or find it causes them no small amount of trouble.

 

[MobBoss]

Mobby, "we are very adaptable" is very different from "we explicitly choose our sexuality".

I think I was pretty clear on my opinion our having the ability to 'reprogram' ourselves is simply an extension of our adaptability. I didnt allude they were the same, and of course they are different, but they can be different and still be relational.

Yeah, I have to disagree that (a)sexuality is a choice. No one wants to be different, no one wants to stick out... If everyone had the choice, they wouldn't choose to ostracize themselves.

While it may not be genetic, it certainly isn't a choice.

I disagree. All I have to do is go down the the U district in Seattle to see a huge number of people wanting to 'be different' and to 'stick out' in pretty much every way imaginable. Simply because you normally wouldnt want to do that doesnt mean it wont appeal to a good number of other people who think being that different is simply being cool and a way for them to express their individuality.

I don't think that that's always true all the time. (Teenagers are a notable example.) I don't, however, believe for one second that Ted Haggard and Larry Craig chose to be different.

Ted Haggard, to this day, says he is a heterosexual. Is he making a choice there? Larry Craig maintains he is heterosexual, and has even less evidence to indicate he ever was homosexual.

If you think they are homosexual, fine. But isnt their current lifestyle indicative that they are indeed making a choice over their sexuality if they were indeed homosexual?

I think your point helps my arguement more than it does yours.

 

[LucyDuke]

Ted Haggard, to this day, says he is a heterosexual. Is he making a choice there? Larry Craig maintains he is heterosexual, and has even less evidence to indicate he ever was homosexual.

If you think they are homosexual, fine. But isnt their current lifestyle indicative that they are indeed making a choice over their sexuality if they were indeed homosexual?

I think your point helps my arguement more than it does yours.

Yes. They are choosing to have sex with women and present themselves as heterosexual. That is not the same as having sexual desire for women, it is not the same as not having sexual desire for men.

I don't know if they are homosexual. I think it's blatantly obvious that they have sexual desire for men. (Why for the love of meth would a man pay another man for sex if he did not have sexual desire for that man? Just for the lulz?)

They are making a choice about their lifestyle. They are choosing actions. That is different from choosing desires or sexual impulses.

I've said in the past, with regard to homosexuality, that how you express it is absolutely a nurture effect, that you do in fact choose how to live your life, whether or not you have sexual desire for men or for women or for men and women or for pigs or for nobody. We've been through the difference between sexual desire and sex. Sex is absolutely a choice. Sexual desire, I maintain, is not a choice. Ted Haggard and Larry Craig would have to be completely mad to explicitly choose to desire men sexually from their shoes. It would be incredibly easier for them to choose to scuttle those desires and wash their hands of their conflict than it obviously has been for them to have sex with men in secret.

 

[Turner]

I disagree. All I have to do is go down the the U district in Seattle to see a huge number of people wanting to 'be different' and to 'stick out' in pretty much every way imaginable. Simply because you normally wouldnt want to do that doesnt mean it wont appeal to a good number of other people who think being that different is simply being cool and a way for them to express their individuality.

There is a HUGE difference between 'choosing' your sexuality, and decided to dress up as goth for your college years. Especially when trying to find yourself at that age. While I can see people in your "U" district expressing themselves in many different ways, it's pretty minor compared to choosing your sexuality.

Ted Haggard, to this day, says he is a heterosexual. Is he making a choice there? Larry Craig maintains he is heterosexual, and has even less evidence to indicate he ever was homosexual.

If you think they are homosexual, fine. But isnt their current lifestyle indicative that they are indeed making a choice over their sexuality if they were indeed homosexual?

I think your point helps my arguement more than it does yours.

They may be choosing to live a heterosexual life, but their base impulses (whether or not to be attracted to the same gender as they are) is not a choice. I don't think anyone here who believes that you don't get to choose your sexual orientation will deny that you can choose whether or not you will act out on those impulses. So if you think they're heterosexual, fine. But hasn't their actions shown that they at least flirt with being bi-sexual, if not outright homosexual?

 

[warpus]

Because humans have an incredible ability to program (or de-program) themselves to a huge extent not really appreciated by most. Maybe the ability to do that is an adaptability trait or something, but people do have the ability to 'alter' their programming as it were.

Case in point: false memories for instance. There have been cases where individuals simply construct detailed memories of events....that never happened....and yet, they would swear they were true, pass a lie detector test in regards to it, etc.

Not that I am saying the false memory example is a good one because of the choice element (or lack thereof), but I merely offer it as an example of what is indeed possible. I think it absolutely possible for someone to become asexual by choice, just like I think it can be accomplished for any sexual preference.

The human mind is a truly amazing thing, and although we know a huge amount of data in regards to it, there is still a whole lot we dont know. And no, I am no expert in this, but this opinion is gleaned from helping my wife study for her advanced psychology courses for her masters, and just reading over some of the material covering this kind of stuff in helping her prepare for tests.

Sure, but have you ever heard of someone who was able to re-program him/her-self to not feel any sexual attraction, to either of the genders?

Has such a thing been documented by medical professionals? If not, why should we assume that such a thing is possible? Surely if it were, it would be documented, and you'd have some links for me.