Is Being Gay a Choice, Not a Choice, or both.

[o-zoe]

Noone in my family is gay, none of my friends were. I have never been (sexually) abused or raped by or experienced anything else to be repulsed by men. Any of these are the usual arguments for one being or becoming gay. But I am anyway.

I have no problem with the view of homosexuality as an anomality, but discarding it as a choice to be or act upon it too simple. I am attracted to the same sex as much as most are attracted to the opposite sex. I don't consider it a choice to act upon it, I much more consider it a choice not to act upon it.

There is a study by a highly regarded Dutch professor (a neurologist,I forgot his name) who links homosexuality and transexuality to a difference in chromosomes and a distinct difference in brain functionality. When it comes to explaining what I am, this - to me - is by far the most acceptable and logical explanation. At the same time this would imply that people indeed are born gay.

 

[Luckymoose]

Sorry I am not trying to offend any gay but you are not born that way. It doesn't work like that. You are not born any with any sexual preference it is the world around you that makes you straight or gay. Most people are straight because its what everyone else is doing and we take it in. If a male was raised in a gay community from birth he would be far more likely to be gay. I never met a gay man, I met many lesbians, this gives me a less of a chance to be gay. You are not born gay, just like you are not born able to speak English or able to read. No ones sexuality is effected by birth or dna or anything. Just like I prefer brunettes because most of my family is blonds and blonds remind me of family and that makes me not like blond chicks. I guess you might not like your parents and because they are hetero you want to be different subconsciously. But you are not born gay.

 

[Newbunkle]

Nobody would choose to be discriminated against, that's ridiculous. Nobody can choose who they're attracted to.

 

[Ziggy Stardust]

Just like I prefer brunettes because most of my family is blonds and blonds remind me of family and that makes me not like blond chicks. I guess you might not like your parents and because they are hetero you want to be different subconsciously. But you are not born gay.

If it's subconscious it's not really a choice is it?

Does it matter wether you are born gay or you become gay at a young age when it's outside of your control? Both rule out the possibilty of choice.

And most of my familly is not blonde and I still prefer brunettes.

 

[silver 2039]

It doesn't matter.

 

[o-zoe]

Sorry I am not trying to offend any gay but you are not born that way. It doesn't work like that. You are not born any with any sexual preference it is the world around you that makes you straight or gay. Most people are straight because its what everyone else is doing and we take it in. If a male was raised in a gay community from birth he would be far more likely to be gay. I never met a gay man, I met many lesbians, this gives me a less of a chance to be gay. You are not born gay, just like you are not born able to speak English or able to read. No ones sexuality is effected by birth or dna or anything. Just like I prefer brunettes because most of my family is blonds and blonds remind me of family and that makes me not like blond chicks. I guess you might not like your parents and because they are hetero you want to be different subconsciously. But you are not born gay.

I don't feel offended, I have seen far too many of these topics (and worse)

My parents have always supported me in any way they could, and still do. I never have had a reason not to like them, never have been a rebel child. Of course their have been arguements, disagreements, but never any serious ones.

So far studies pointed out that children raised by gay parents are not more likely to be gay. I suppose this also may point out that it is not an adopted behavior, but I'm not an export so I don't want to draw any conclusions by myself.

 

[Truronian]

Sorry I am not trying to offend any gay but you are not born that way. It doesn't work like that. You are not born any with any sexual preference it is the world around you that makes you straight or gay. Most people are straight because its what everyone else is doing and we take it in. If a male was raised in a gay community from birth he would be far more likely to be gay. I never met a gay man, I met many lesbians, this gives me a less of a chance to be gay. You are not born gay, just like you are not born able to speak English or able to read. No ones sexuality is effected by birth or dna or anything. Just like I prefer brunettes because most of my family is blonds and blonds remind me of family and that makes me not like blond chicks. I guess you might not like your parents and because they are hetero you want to be different subconsciously. But you are not born gay.

Huntington's is a genetic disease and yet you rarely see babies born suffering from it... to say we know for certain how sexual preference works is untrue.

 

[Angst]

Is being bisexual considered 'gay' per definition?

 

[Stapel]

Sorry I am not trying to offend any gay but you are not born that way. It doesn't work like that.

Well, what can I say: YES IT DOES. But we won't get far like this. I've pointed out that all gay people I know (about a dozen) have stated it was not a choice. To that, you explain it could be a subconscious choice. It seems the biggests nonsense to me. Why do you think it is a choice (either conscious or subconscious)? What makes you think so?


I can come along a pretty decent mile. I'm quite sure the repulsive idea most heterosexual men have of sexual activities with another man, is somewhat culturally defined. But that doesn't mean one can chose to be hetero or homo. At best to behave like one or the other.

 

[Ziggy Stardust]

I cannot decide right now to be attracted to men.

I have no choice in the matter.

 

[classical_hero]

There is no study that has been duplicated to give the exact same results so say that a person is born Gay. Ther have been plenty of studies done on this subject and each study is different. Anyone who says that they were born gay are just kidding themselves, because there is always an incident somewhere along the line that they had to make a decision.

@Stapel, you will be surprised at how many decisions that people make everyday and yet when you asked them about it, they would not say they made a choice at all, even though there are other possibilities that they could have done.

I have a question for those who think that it is not a choice. How do you explain people who have come out from a homosexual lifestyle?

 

[Ziggy Stardust]

I have a question for those who think that it is not a choice. How do you explain people who have come out from a homosexual lifestyle?

Many reasons possible. People change. People supress their natural orientation. Some people who are bisexual simply chose another partner.

I have a counterquestion for you. Can you (you, classical_hero) chose to be be sexually attracted to men? For instance try it out for a month to see what it's like?

 

[Mark1031]

I have a question for those who think that it is not a choice. How do you explain people who have come out from a homosexual lifestyle?

I have a question for you. Why would anyone choose to be gay??

 

[Stapel]

There is no study that has been duplicated to give the exact same results so say that a person is born Gay. Ther have been plenty of studies done on this subject and each study is different. Anyone who says that they were born gay are just kidding themselves, because there is always an incident somewhere along the line that they had to make a decision.

Come on, I do not need scientific biological evidence. The fact every single gay tells me it was NOT a choice, is enough for me. The idea that there was always an incident which 'forced' people to make a choice, is quite laughable, imho. Of course, I can imagine that a woman who gets raped at young age, might have problems having a normal sexual relationship with a man later, and she might try to find 'different' ways. But those are exceptions

@Stapel, you will be surprised at how many decisions that people make everyday and yet when you asked them about it, they would not say they made a choice at all, even though there are other possibilities that they could have done.

Quite true, but I do not think this goes for sexual preference. Most gays do not want to be gay. Making such a choice thus makes no sense.

I have a question for those who think that it is not a choice. How do you explain people who have come out from a homosexual lifestyle?

Simple CH: Many people who feel they are homosexual, do not want to be homosexual. They simply choose to 'no longer live that kind of life'. This can be for various reasons. One might have religious reasons, but what happens quite more often in my experience, is that many gays actually want to live a common life, just like every common man: a nice family (2 kids), a volkswagen, a nice suburb home, sharing the same hobbies as the neighbour. There you go, it's not per se hard to adjust to what the majority does. However, this might have the consequence that people deny their inner feelings. Sometimes this goes without further depressions (actually, a religious belief can truly assist to this), but I've seen people depressing themselves by trying, trying and trying to be "normal".

 

[Fifty]

I think it varies from person to person. Some people are gay or bi to get attention and to forge an identity, and others are gay naturally. IMO, a good test to figure out whether someone is gay naturally or gay for attention is that the natural gay people tend not to make a point out of freaking out and pretending to be offended anytime someone uses the term "gay" as a general negative term for something (e.g. "that was a gay test"). The "gay for attention" people also tend to begin every single sentence with "well I'm gay so..."

I really do think some people are gay naturally. I have a good friend who I've known since elementary school who is gay, and he was clearly gay back all the way since we were kids.

 

[El_Machinae]

"No studies done which make someone gay"

Yeah, because to prove that, you'd have to interfere with a fetus, with the intention of making the brain develop a certain way to predetermine gayness! You can't do that type of study! Nevermind the double-blind placebo control

There have been dozens of studies which mimic the condition in animals.

Ziggy: if you want to choose to become gay, I recommend me or Skadistic. We'll spin you around. We're that good.

I don't know why the Religious Right is always 20-200 years behind the science ...

 

[skadistic]

Hey wait what?

 

[classical_hero]

Come on, I do not need scientific biological evidence. The fact every single gay tells me it was NOT a choice, is enough for me. The idea that there was always an incident which 'forced' people to make a choice, is quite laughable, imho. Of course, I can imagine that a woman who gets raped at young age, might have problems having a normal sexual relationship with a man later, and she might try to find 'different' ways. But those are exceptions

So you are saying that because some people are going by their feelings that it is okay. That is very unstable rationale.

 

[Ziggy Stardust]

A pale blue dot in the land of Mary does sound tempting.

edit: CH could you please answer my question?

 

[El_Machinae]

edit:

Hey wait what?

I'm sure it was you who said something like "I'm so hot, I can make straight men gay". You and I were kidding about it.