Is it normal to have sexual orentation struggles?

[Meleager]

The penis is never wrong about these kinds of things. Trust your penis. Use your penis.

May the penis be with you....

Great. Up to now this discussion had at least a shred of respectability.

This thread will get closed for sure if there are more posts like that.

Dont let another thread fall to the moderators...

 

[classical_hero]

The penis is never wrong about these kinds of things. Trust your penis. Use your penis.

May the penis be with you....

That is the problem. Most guys do not use their brains enough and rely too much on their penises.

 

[I am the Future]

Great. Up to now this discussion had at least a shred of respectability.

This thread will get closed for sure if there are more posts like that.

Dont let another thread fall to the moderators...

actually even the silver was intending it to be funny he has a point.

What ever turns you on is la good indicator on what to go with.

PS...
...talking about the mods like that will get it closed also

 

[silver 2039]

That is the problem. Most guys do not use their brains enough and rely too much on their penises.

What do brains have to do with sexual oreintation? It is fairily simple:

If you get an erection when you look at men you're gay.
If you get a erection when you look at women you're straight
If you get an erection when you look at both you're bi

I mean seriosuly can it get any simpler than that?

 

[classical_hero]

What I mean is that people do not think seriously enough about the actions they want to take withou looking at the potential consequences of those actions. When we do look at the big picture rather than just a temporary reaction, we could save ourselves a lot of trouble. I was also referring to all men, not just those who are definitely gay or those who are confused about their sexuality. It is often best that we just step back awhile before we jump into some situations.

 

[Meleager]

What I mean is that people do not think seriously enough about the actions they want to take withou looking at the potential consequences of those actions. When we do look at the big picture rather than just a temporary reaction, we could save ourselves a lot of trouble. I was also referring to all men, not just those who are definitely gay or those who are confused about their sexuality. It is often best that we just step back awhile before we jump into some situations.

Good point.

Goodness knows it would stop alot of teen pregnacies if everyone took that advice.

 

[classical_hero]

Good point.

Goodness knows it would stop alot of teen pregnacies if everyone took that advice.

Most people do not want to follow that advice though. Discipline does seem to be in short supply in this world, even we need it.

 

[Akka]

I disagree. Sex is not part of an relationship. I know many people who have a relationship and sex is not a priority.

I didn't said it was a priority, I said it was part of a relationship.
And YES, sex is part of any serious relationship. I'm not talking about the teen crushs that last one week and a half here.

I dont beleve that I have lost anything. All she wanted was just sex and nothing more and I dont beleve that it is my loss.

Did you even bother to read my post, or are you simply repeating this mantra to convince yourself ?

This last sentence of yours is, sorry be blunt, childish bullcrap. Reread the whole section I wrote to explain you precisely the opposite of what you just said.
So I'll repeat myself : sex is an INTEGRAL PART of relationship. It also goes quite a bit beyond that, as it acts as a catalyst for many little things, like intimacy. It's also a NORMAL thing, that all our instincts and pulsions push us to do when we're feeling well with someone in a relation.
Refusing this for a long time (nobody will blame you not to have sex in the first several weeks, of course), is like putting a wall around you where you forbid your partner to enter. Because by refusing sex, you refuse entire parts of the relationship.
Of course, if you and her both share the same vision of the relationship, there would be less problems (though there is a good chance there still will be, because we're talking about reality here). But if not, there is a very good chance that by refusing her these kind of intimacy and concretisation of the relationship, you will simply frustrate her and make her feel she's rejected and not desired.

And if the person feel rejected, not desired, it's understandable that she could end up thinking "I'm not made for this guy". No healthy relationship include feeling of rejection and lack of desire. Platonic love is nice and romantic for a time, but after a while, the person is likely to interpetreting it not as romance, but simply lack of interest.

And this is the point, pal : it's not that people are only "seeking for sex" and that you're the holy little innocent lamb that defend itself against the bad lust of sinner. It's quite a bit more subtle than that.
Refusing to become intimate, refusing to show the desire you have for someone, will simply translate for people, after a while, that you have no interest in them.
And will you continue to blame them and say "bah, no loss for me, she wanted only sex, the whore", or will you understand and accept that it's normal not to want a relationship with someone not interested in you ?

Closing your mind to any other point of view than your own, and blaming everyone else for the consequences of your intransigeance, isn't going to make your romantic dreams come true, pal. Love is a two-ways affair, not a "I'll do whatever I want, and anyone having a different opinion is just a sucker that didn't deserved my time".

You aren't on the good way to have a fulfilling love life...

 

[I am the Future]

If Sex is so necesary and important and not about "teen crushes" then at what age is it necesary toa realtionship

 

[Akka]

If Sex is so necesary and important and not about "teen crushes" then at what age is it necesary toa realtionship

Well in fact, it's precisely in the "teen crushes" that sex isn't important, and in all the serious relationship that it starts to be.

 

[Meleager]

@ Akka, Thats the exact type of stuff which forces people (using guilt) into sex that they dont want to have (which is exactly what you are doing). There is nothing wrong with "dening" sex. I know many people who have done it and it has not effected them at all (infact, you could say it has benifited them). If sex is, as you say, an important part of building intimacy, isn't it a good idea to wait untill your with someone you know you love. In fact, I am sure that people who rush into sex without that type of intimacy already built up will have their relationship damaged when they worry about letting people that close.

Let people have sex when they choose to have it without putting added expectations and pressures on them. If someone is going to be offended when they are refused sex it doesnt show that your rejecting them, but rather that they are far more interested in sex then in a relationship with the person.

EDIT cause i just though of something smart:
sex should not foster or proceed intimacy
intimacy should proceed sex

 

[Akka]

@ Akka, Thats the exact type of stuff which forces people (using guilt) into sex that they dont want to have (which is exactly what you are doing).

Let me laugh. Here is a guy who preemptively blame the girls that won't say with him as crazy lust *****es, and I'm the one using guilt ?
I'm just trying to open his eyes about the fact that having sex in a relation isn't being a sex beast. Don't tell me you don't see the difference.

There is nothing wrong with "dening" sex. I know many people who have done it and it has not effected them at all (infact, you could say it has benifited them).

There is nothing wrong in not denying sex either.
Not having sex is his right. It's his values, it's his life, no problem.
Describing people not going by his medieval ideas as lustful sinners, though, IS wrong.
And I'm also warning him about a FACT (not something "right" or "wrong", simply something that HAPPENS), which is that often, refusing to have sex is, after a while, perceived as lacking interest in someone, and that "he's not interested in me" is a perfectly good reason to break up a relationship, and doesn't mean "no loss, she was just a slut".
Again, don't tell me you don't see the difference.

If sex is, as you say, an important part of building intimacy, isn't it a good idea to wait untill your with someone you know you love.

It's better when you love someone, that's sure. But love isn't restricted to marriage, love isn't restricted to being a virgin, and love isn't always eternal.
Plenty of reasons to not make sex and being virgin so important. Feelings are the only things that count.

In fact, I am sure that people who rush into sex without that type of intimacy already built up will have their relationship damaged when they worry about letting people that close.

Gneh ? This doesn't make any sense. Why would they worry about letting people going close ?

Let people have sex when they choose to have it without putting added expectations and pressures on them.

Yes, and not making them think that they need to marry first too. That's certainly a much greater pressure and expectation than anything else.

If someone is going to be offended when they are refused sex it doesnt show that your rejecting them, but rather that they are far more interested in sex then in a relationship with the person.

Gosh, are you blind or dense ?
Reread my previous post, it's practically entirely dedicated to explain why it's NOT the case.

EDIT cause i just though of something smart:
sex should not foster or proceed intimacy
intimacy should proceed sex

Sex and intimacy are interlinked, you can't separate them like that, sorry.

 

[Meleager]

Im sorry Akka. But we will just have to agree to disagree.

 

[Neonanocyborgasm]

I did not want to threadjack the "Homosexual PDA and Public Nudity" thread. But I have a question that just came up to mind just recently after seeing two related threads about it.

My question is, Is it normal to have sexuality struggles and become confused? I know I am in the same boat because I defenately fit the picture and trying to struggle with my sexuality after reverting to Christianity and trying to space myself away from homosexual activities. Then comes to my second question, has anyone here ever faced any kind of struggles?

Note: This thread is about struggles with sexual orentation. Not struggles with having sex!

Yes, it is normal to have struggles over one's sexuality... if you're homosexual.

 

[IglooDame]

It is normal to have questions about yourself on any level, most especially the sexual/erotic level. The more thoughtful and introspective you are, the more questions.

I can't answer the question as to being straight/bi/gay, but I can say that it can be confusing and upsetting if a picture of a woman being bound and gagged, or flogged, or even just in some sort of uniform affects you than your average Playboy centerfold picture. CG, I'm not going to out myself here more than I already have in the past, but if that circumstance sounds familiar to you, PM me.

 

[Milan's Warrior]

Attraction can be wrong. That is not always a good indicator of things.

Are you talking from personal experience?

 

[Akka]

but I can say that it can be confusing and upsetting if a picture of a woman being bound and gagged, or flogged, or even just in some sort of uniform affects you than your average Playboy centerfold picture.

The strangeness of being turned on by bondage, he ? ^^
Don't worry, it's clearly not that rare
Though, yes, it can be pretty unsettling compared to normality.

 

[IglooDame]

The strangeness of being turned on by bondage, he ? ^^
Don't worry, it's clearly not that rare
Though, yes, it can be pretty unsettling compared to normality.

Trust me, I was choosing the "less strange" aspects of erotica that I am familiar with.

The last time I posted a link to the "fetish map" gif (not mine specifically, a general one that seems to list the vast majority) it got modded out, so anyone interested in it should PM me for a link to it.

 

[Akka]

Sounds fun, count me in ^^

 

[Mathilda]

Igloo - you need to do some tidying in your pm box