Is it really all about sex?

[MobBoss]

I got upset because you kept insisting that my position on the issue was not a valid one.

The issue itself is not something I'm ever going to allow anyone to judge me on, or try to make me feel ashamed or guilty.

Then you shouldn't have gotten mad at me because what seems valid for you might not be seen that way by others. I certainly don't expect everyone to agree with every decision I've ever made in my life, but if I'm going to open that door I hardly have the right to be mad against someone for walking through it.

The existence of menopause would seem to indicate your answer is incomplete.

By that logic, then the fact that everyone dies also makes the argument against self-preservation incomplete.

 

[Timsup2nothin]

I don't disagree, but just consider 'sex' to be an integral part of that 'will to live' thingy. But for the sake of expedience, i'll give in that the 'will to live' is more overriding that the power of sex, and that both of those more powerful than a locomotive.

Using other than human examples from the animal kingdom...an intact young adult male dog with good training and a good amount of street smarts (knows that roads mean cars and cars mean flat) will, if he smells a female in heat on the wind, ignore all calls and walk straight out in front of a car. That 'will to live' v 'get laid' balance appears to be pretty precarious.

 

[MobBoss]

Using other than human examples from the animal kingdom...an intact young adult male dog with good training and a good amount of street smarts (knows that roads mean cars and cars mean flat) will, if he smells a female in heat on the wind, ignore all calls and walk straight out in front of a car. That 'will to live' v 'get laid' balance appears to be pretty precarious.

I agree and fwiw, I think a large part of the argument on the topic with be the instinctual vs learned behavior that we as humans experience.

 

[Timsup2nothin]

I agree and fwiw, I think a large part of the argument on the topic with be the instinctual vs learned behavior that we as humans experience.

Fair point. When I was a lad and had a lot less learning behind my behavior I might have walked out in front of a few cars myself.

 

[Valka D'Ur]

Then you shouldn't have gotten mad at me because what seems valid for you might not be seen that way by others. I certainly don't expect everyone to agree with every decision I've ever made in my life, but if I'm going to open that door I hardly have the right to be mad against someone for walking through it.

I never said you couldn't have an opinion. But the way you put it was like you were trying to make me feel guilty for a decision I made 30 years ago that was an entirely sensible decision, given the circumstances. You've made it clear that you're more comfortable taking chances with that sort of thing, but I'm not. What some people don't realize is that it wasn't an easy decision. But I do think that for me, it was the correct one.

 

[MobBoss]

I never said you couldn't have an opinion. But the way you put it was like you were trying to make me feel guilty for a decision I made 30 years ago that was an entirely sensible decision, given the circumstances. You've made it clear that you're more comfortable taking chances with that sort of thing, but I'm not. What some people don't realize is that it wasn't an easy decision. But I do think that for me, it was the correct one.

Sensible to you maybe. Not to me. If you felt guilt about it, perhaps you still have unresolved issues about your decision. I merely disagreed with your choice.

Btw, all of life is a chance, and some of life's greatest moments are because a choice was made to take that chance.

But your comment about me 'making you feel' is another worthy topic. I cant make you feel anything. You either choose to...or you don't.

 

[Valka D'Ur]

Sensible to you maybe. Not to me. If you felt guilt about it, perhaps you still have unresolved issues about your decision. I merely disagreed with your choice.

Btw, all of life is a chance, and some of life's greatest moments are because a choice was made to take that chance.

But your comment about me 'making you feel' is another worthy topic. I cant make you feel anything. You either choose to...or you don't.

Did I say I felt guilt? No. Did I have the perception that you tried to make me feel guilt? Damn straight.

Acknowledging that it was a difficult decision in no way means that I feel any guilt. But your comment about how some hypothetical kid I never had and never will have could have turned out definitely felt like you trying to make me feel guilty for my decision.

 

[MobBoss]

Did I say I felt guilt? No. Did I have the perception that you tried to make me feel guilt? Damn straight.

Acknowledging that it was a difficult decision in no way means that I feel any guilt. But your comment about how some hypothetical kid I never had and never will have could have turned out definitely felt like you trying to make me feel guilty for my decision.

The operative word in your reply is feel. I cant make you feel anything. Of course, you can choose to feel whatever based upon your own emotion of the topic.

You do mention you got upset. If you didn't feel guilt, then why get upset?

Obviously, you sure damn well felt something as much as you go on about it, your denial aside.

But this is tiresome and way too personal, like I predicted it would be. If you feel the need to continue this, it will be without my responding. If you need to get if off your chest even more please do so then be done.

 

[Birdjaguar]

The operative word in your reply is feel. I cant make you feel anything. Of course, you can choose to feel whatever based upon your own emotion of the topic.

Sometimes we can choose our feelings, but most of the time we just have feelings of one sort or another in response to the events around us. People can and do influence the feelings others have all the time. Mean remarks can generate sad or angry feelings in others. A simple smile can generate waves of happiness in others.

If we are lucky and attentive, sometimes we can control how we respond to the strong feelings we have.

 

[MobBoss]

Sometimes we can choose our feelings, but most of the time we just have feelings of one sort or another in response to the events around us. People can and do influence the feelings others have all the time. Mean remarks can generate sad or angry feelings in others. A simple smile can generate waves of happiness in others.

If we are lucky and attentive, sometimes we can control how we respond to the strong feelings we have.

The older I get, the more I believe we do indeed make such choices about our feelings in life. I don't think t's about luck, or even being attentive; rather I think it is about awareness of self and coming to a place where one decides if a persons comments are worth allowing an emotional response or not....and recognizing that any response based on emotion could very well be an illogical one.

Perhaps part of that is based upon the fact that I've been with my wife for about 33 years now. If I chose to get all wound up about every little thing that can upset a person living with another person...well, I would have only been married a fraction of that time.

 

[Perfection]

By that logic, then the fact that everyone dies also makes the argument against self-preservation incomplete.

Uh no. The fact that women go through a process in which they cease procreating yet continue to live seems to indicate that people continue to live for reasons other than their continued procreation.

Pretty common sense, dude.

 

[MobBoss]

Uh no. The fact that women go through a process in which they cease procreating yet continue to live seems to indicate that people continue to live for reasons other than their continued procreation.

Pretty common sense, dude.

Or it simply means they've exceeded their 'best used by' date.

 

[Perfection]

I don't disagree, but just consider 'sex' to be an integral part of that 'will to live' thingy. But for the sake of expedience, i'll give in that the 'will to live' is more overriding that the power of sex, and that both of those more powerful than a locomotive.

MY VIDEO WAS NOT A LOCOMOTIVE. DID YOU EVEN WATCH IT?

Or it simply means they've exceeded their 'best used by' date.

Classy.

 

[Valka D'Ur]

The operative word in your reply is feel. I cant make you feel anything. Of course, you can choose to feel whatever based upon your own emotion of the topic.

You do mention you got upset. If you didn't feel guilt, then why get upset?

Obviously, you sure damn well felt something as much as you go on about it, your denial aside.

But this is tiresome and way too personal, like I predicted it would be. If you feel the need to continue this, it will be without my responding. If you need to get if off your chest even more please do so then be done.

You just don't get it. You posted a really insensitive comment about my decision not to have children, essentially telling me that my decision could have deprived the world of someone good. To me, that's the same as chastising me for my decision, and trying to make me feel guilty, like I owed the world a kid and didn't come through. You just dismissed the reasons I gave as to why I made that decision in the first place.

The fact is that I don't feel guilty for my decision about not having kids, but I do feel angry with you for your inability to understand that you should not have posted what you did.

 

[bhavv]

I really don't know. Is it because you're a uniquely special person?

The depressed person typically stays in bed for long periods of time, doing nothing.

That happened after, but I was less depressed than work made me.

 

[Farm Boy]

MY VIDEO WAS NOT A LOCOMOTIVE. DID YOU EVEN WATCH IT?

I thought it was acceptably suggestive as well as a life lesson. Keep it sufficiently lubricated and it'll make you clothes. Or pie. Or something like that. I got confused at about this point.

 

[Perfection]

Mobby missed out