Island of the Three Legged Sicilians -- A Death & Taxes EU3 AAR

[madviking]

Quick jump to chapters:
Chapter 0 (this post, introduction)
Chapter 1 (day zero actions)
Chapter 2 (path to independence)
Chapter 3 (part 1) (part 2) (up to first national idea)
Chapter 4 (1st Trinacrian-Neapolitan War)
Chapter 5 (2nd Trinacrian-Neapolitan War)
Chapter 6 (3rd Trinacrian-Neapolitan War)
Chapter 7 (Pax Sicilica, part 1)
Chapter 8 (Pax Sicilica, part 2)
Chapter 9 (Reign of Ferdinando II d'Ivrea)
Chapter 10 (Reign of Martino I d'Ivrea)
Chapter 11 (Reign of Carlo II d'Ivrea)
Chapter 12 (Reign of Martino II d'Ivrea)
Chapter 13 (The Reformation and the Kingdom)
Chapter 14 (End of Francesco I d'Ivrea)
Chapter 15 (1st Italian War)

0th Chapter:

Due to the loud and rousing demands of all of my fan (I'm looking at you, Owen) this will be an AAR I'll be doing. Herein, I'll be talking about more of the mechanics of the game and less pompous and pretentious writing about the random everyday lives of people neither you nor I care about. That isn't to say I won't be cracking jokes or nuthin' _(hopefully). Hopefully my gameplay will be up to snuff to make this both an enjoyable and educational experience for most of us.

So, after giving my starting a great deal of ponderous thought, I've decided upon a country that is poised to ejaculate onto the scene in Europe. Since y'all better be literate, you can probably tell that I'm going to be playing Trinacria.

DID YOU KNOW THAT TRINACRIA IS ITALIAN/SICILIAN/WHATEVER FOR TRISKELION?

DID YOU KNOW THAT THIS A TRISKELION?


Figure 1: Flag of Sicily. Also a triskelion.

Now the title makes sense, eh?

Here is most of the boring stuff:
Advisers, Leaders, Colonists, Merchants, Missionaries, Inflation, Size of colonists, Difficulty, AI aggressiveness and Spies are all normal. Spread of land/sea provinces both set at 50 years (the default). No lucky nations. Starting on 10 January, 1356. Playing the latest version of Death & Taxes (8.7 or something?)*.

To end off, this game will need your input from time to time for inspiration/randomness/fake difficulty. Hopefully you, the reader, will oblige in my small request. Cool? Cool.

*Something's wrong with me upgrading to 8.7 so I'll be stuck in 5.14... >.>

Chapter 1 comin' within 24 hours.

 

[madviking]

Chapter 1:

Alright, so Day 0.

Trinacria starts in a strange position in 1356.


Figure 1.1: A map of Trinacria (orange) and the greater Mediterranean

It starts control of the islands of Sicily and Malta which is good. Strangely, it also starts with two Greek provinces: Larisa and Athens. Normally I wouldn't complain about large tracts of land, but these provinces could become a problem. First off, they're both Orthodox, in contrast with my state Catholicism. This, coupled with the provinces being 'Greek' rather than 'Sicilian', means that the revolt risk is non-negligible. In fact, the revolt risk on Day 0 is 9.0%. If you know anything about the game, it's that revolt risk completely kills tax. Moreover, we don't even have cores on the two provinces. So, in essence, the provinces are deadweight.

In regal matters, Trinacria begins in a personal union with Aragon. Obviously, we, as Sicilians, would like to see a Sicilian crowned king. However, to do this, we must give Thine Middle Fingre to Aragon a few times to get relations down (150 at game start). Then we must hope that the king dies sooner rather than later. The current king of Aragon, Pere IV "el Cerimonios" d'Arago (8/8/7 [D/A/M]), was crowned on 17 September 1336. So I figure he'll die within ten years or so (hopefully).


Figure 1.2: Our "king".

In foreign matters, we obviously have Aragon, and then we also have our veritable big brother Naples. Naples doesn't start in a personal union, being ruled by the scummy Queen Giovanna de Valois (4/3/3) for thirteen years. The scariest part of Naples is that they start with cores on all provinces on Sicily, namely Messina, Palermo, and Syracusa. It goes without saying that they have a casus belli on our ass. Otherwise, Italy is a pretty forgiving place, with no other substantial threats other than Milan to the far north. Over in Greece, Serbia is pretty fearsome, and the Byzantines start with cores on our Greek provinces.

In terms of advisers, there happens to be a six star adviser! Good old Tancredo Mazzini (6* Treasurer) knows how to get crap done financially. So I welcome him to my court. Upon hiring him, it turns out I can pass the Liquor Act [Tax +3%, Stability -4%] for some extra cash. No other advisers worth hiring at the moment (not like I can afford many as it is).


Figure 1.3: The financial mastermind known as Tancredo Mazzini.


Figure 1.4: The passing of the Liquor Act in Trinacria.

Our military is pretty okay, with us having three Latin medieval infantry regiments and one Chevauchee regiment. We also with 11 boats with seven being galleys and four being dinghies. We can support seven more regiments and three more boats. This will be sufficient for homeland security purposes, but not for attacking-Naples purposes.


Figure 1.5: Trinacria's mighty military.

In fact, our finances prevent any increase in military spending. In fact, 1.1 ducats/month are being spent on land upkeep. PREPOSTEROUS! I set land spending to 0.6 ducats/month (the minimum). With these savings, we can run the treasury slider at 0 for much longer. I go full steam ahead on government research, while losing 1.3 ducats a month. Since we get about 36 ducats as the year-end bonus, we run a yearly profit of... madviking does math 20.4 ducats. Reasonable. Our first idea will be national bank once we research the next government tech (due in seven years).

No real reason to pass the blasphemy act since we have no active missionaries, so I'll pass on that to a later time.


Figure 1.6: Trinacria's religion situation.

For my first slider move, I'm going to move the slider towards 'Free Subjects'. This will allow us to have cheaper techs and higher morale, so it's pretty important, to me at least. As the random event, we get 'Better Administration', which lowers our nonexistent inflation by 2%.


Figure 1.7: The laws of Trinacria.


Figure 1.8: Our best administration is now bester!

My first ambition is a naval arms race versus Naples. According to the ledger, they have 14 boats to our 11 boats. Meh. I don't want to cancel it until we have higher prestige. The more important part on the page is the 'Reunite Sicily' decision. However, in order for it to fire, we essentially need to conquer Naples. But not like that isn't our plan anyway.


Figure 1.9: The goal.

That about wraps things up for Day 0. Onto Day 1! And 2! And 3! And so on...!

 

[madviking]

Chapter 2:

Aight, set the game to full speed!

So the game sorts itself out. As a junior partner in a personal union there ain't a whole lot to do. What I do do is send a once-monthly middle finger to Barcelona. Happily Aragon is happy to oblige and even helps me out some; they pester me with alliance offers (which they should already have, right?) which net me -5 relation points every few months.

After a bit, I now have -50 relations with Aragon. King Pere IV "el Cerimonios" d'Arago doesn't seem to care much about foreign policy to fix relations. Scummy Catalonians.


Figure 2.1: Damn Greeks.

So I get some bad news. Those pesky, good-for-nothing-except-taking-selfies-in-front-of-the-same-closet-and-taking-bailouts Greeks send me a list of grievances. To make a long story short, they're Greek.

So I either face 9,000 pissed off Greeks or I send them 30 ducats. Seeing as I have enough money and not enough troops, the choice was unfortunately made for me. I send them my worst 30 ducats in my treasury as a bailout and hope tensions subside. As a result of this, I need to bump up my treasury slider to 0.4 to make ends meet.

The next few months are a prosperous time for Trinacria. As a result, two new Chevauchee regiments are created. This brings the mighty Trinacrian army to six regiments, split evenly between infantry and cavalry.

It seems those Greeks weren't satisfied enough. They have risen in arms in Larisa against the king of Aragon's rule. Similarly, the editors of the Palermo Times were confused.


Figure 2.2: The rebellion.

The 6,000-strong Greek rebel army, led by the repugnant Ioannes Batatzes, lays siege to the province of Larisa.


Figure 2.3: The army.

It seems as my construction of two new regiments came in the nick of time. The regiments were constructed, and the army sailed over to Athens, and fought the rebels in a series of two battles.

Being Greek, they were quickly defeated.


Figure 2.4: The surrender.

Meanwhile...


Figure 2.5: The angry nobles' complaints.

In the midst of this rebellion, a cabal of nobles sent an angry letter to the Palermo Times. They were appalled at King Pere IV "el Cerimonios" d'Arago's attempts to centralize the government and cut the aristocracy out of some of their pie. Once again, the editors at the Times were confused. However, regardless of the method the nobles used, the nobles got what they wanted.


Figure 2.6: The expanded bureaucracy, or, Extreme Makeover: Trinacria Style.

A few months later, enough magistrates had accumulated in Palermo for them to start complaining about the cramped quarters they had in court. The Court decided it would be for the betterment of the Kingdom to give them a bit more space in their corner. There was much rejoicing among the magistrates and many of them told their magistrate friends to come to Palermo, too.

Troubling news reached the new, slick, and completely redesigned court in early September, 1358. It turned out that King Pere IV "el Cerimonios" d'Arago had been ill and had recently passed away. Due to our cunning foreign policy, the Aragonians didn't care that we broke off from their crappy little kingdom and became independent. A summoning of local nobles occurred in Palermo, with one to be crowned the new King of Trinacria.

The competition was fierce. Several bruised egos were suffered. In the end, one man had clearly emerged as the most capable man in Trinacria to rule...


Figure 2.7: Long live the King!

Leopoldo d'Ivrea, a man of great skill and talents, had convinced the Court that he should rule. The Court unanimously agreed. The Palermo Times published a glowing review of him.

With Leopoldo at our controls, we now have to navigate the choppy waters of independence...

 

[alpav]

Nice.
What problems you having with 8.7? Actually the latest is the 8.8 BETA.
Also what's wrong with your province names?

 

[madviking]

There's a problem in extraction (some file can't be extracted or something). The provinces names I have no idea what went wrong.

 

[alpav]

Do you use winRAR or 7zip?

 

[madviking]

7zip.

 

[schlaufuchs]

Bravo! I true masterpiece! Your fan cries for moar!

 

[Jos Ballenbak]

moar!

 

[Antilogic]

Subscription post posted. Looking forward to seeing what the wee Sicilians can do.

 

[madviking]

Chapter 3 (Two Part Update, Part 1)

Being the first king after the breakup of a personal union, you begin with terribad legitimacy. In my case, you start at 20%. Now, thankfully, it's relatively easy to gain legitimacy. Case in point:



Each royal marriage is a +0.5% yearly boon to legitimacy. So in that picture, that's a yearly increase of +2.5%. Not bad.

Oddly enough, Aragon is being overly attached girlfriend right now. I don't mind being guaranteed, it's just a bit strange.



Alliance offer from the trustworthy Sardinians. I accept.



ehhhhh more Greek revolts.



Now that I'm out of a personal union, I can collect my free general (my ruler). Since Leopoldo is nothing short of a warlord, he gets very good stats (mainly the +5 shock).



Not wanting to be captured by the Trinacrian authorities, the rebels scamper off to Epirus. Epirusian authorities capture them.



"CATALAN IS NOTHING MORE THAN A HICKISH DIALECT OF CASTILLIAN!!"



Tancredo Mazzini is doing work.



Okay, here's something that's actually pretty important if I want to conquer the nasty Neapolitans. The Papal State has annexed Urbino since the game start. That makes them a relatively formidable power on the Italian peninsula.

Oh, while I forget about it, I got five more royal marriages (didn't take a screenshot herp). So now my legitimacy is growing at 5.0% a year.

I see that my relations with Achaea is at 180. Imagine if I could somehow vassalize them? To do so, I would need a royal marriage (check), an alliance (not check), and 180 relations (check). I offer them an alliance.



They accept! Now I offer them terms of envassalizement.



meh it was worth a shot.

Meanwhile, techs keep pouring in.



Leopoldo gets sick. There is much celebration among the aristocracy.



More land tech.



"THOSE GREEK RATS WILL BE GENOCIDED FROM THE FACE OF THE EARTH ARRRRGGGGHHHHH!!"



Greek rebels: "Hey, screw you too!"





Leopoldo: "GET OFF MAH LAND!!"

 

[madviking]

Chapter 3 (Two Part Update, Part 2)

(N.B. -- I won't be captioning images anymore. Kinda of a pita.)

So I increase free subjects more. People are upset. Oh well.



To deal with the traitorous Greek rebels, I send some of my crack missionaries over to Athens to teach the Greeks a goddamn lesson in humanity.



Longbows!



I hate this event. I have to choose the latter option since the first one (big penalties in taxes and manpower) would cripple my country too much. The narrowmindedness problem can be fixed later, thankfully.



Techs on techs on techs.



It seems those crack missionaries made short work of the Greek scum. Athens is now Catholic.



To celebrate, I send more of them to Larisa to teach them a lesson in humanity.



"What?! They're still not happy? Screw 'em!"



Tancredo is really making short work of these trade techs.



Yay! We finally made it to government tech #6.



Now time to make a decision on what national idea I would like to adopt. This being Death & Taxes, not all national ideas are immediately available*, including the fan favorite National Bank idea. That requires a centralized government of sorts, something I don't have right now (slider is at 4 towards federalism [i.e. decentralization]). Not even good old Military Drill is available (needs higher land and quality sliders). Faced with a tough decision, I go with Glourious Arms idea. As shown in the picture below, it still offers a morale bonus, which is good enough for me. The prestige in battle would be nice if I ever went into a big old war.

*a fact that I forgot.



Now it is sixteen years into the game. Once Larisa becomes Catholic, I will have achieved religious harmony. My legitimacy has been increasing steadily and now is at 70%. Other than a few random stability hits, I've done nothing to really threaten the well being of the Trinacrian state. I have a nice reserve of ducats with which I can build more regiments and dinghies. After getting the free subjects slider to a reasonable level, I figure I should focus on the centralization slider more. Reuniting Sicily does net you a notch on the slider, which is helpful, but I'd still need three more notches before getting to National Bank levels. But I still got time and I haven't accrued any inflation yet.

In foreign news, the Mameluks got absolutely gangbanged, with them fighting at least ten separate wars. I don't expect more than a smoldering carcass of them to remain after all the dust settles. Elsewhere, England has been making inroads in France, recovering Normandy and Caux as well as Languedoc. England's also dismantled Scotland, with them having only two provinces left (Fife and the Western Isles). No fighting on Iberia has occurred yet. Brandenburg has annexed three of the four Pommeranian provinces with the Teutonic Order poaching the last one. The Golden Horde is Golden Hordin'. Byzantium has bounced back a bit, sniping two Anatolian provinces since game start. Hungary inherited Croatia very quickly and has since then annexed Transylvania.

So my main goals right now are as follow:

The main one is still annexing Naples for the reunion decision. But to do so, I need to build my army up to the supply limit (11 regiments; I have 6 at the moment). Accruing more gold would be the quickest way to accomplish this. It would also help Those Crack Missionaries finished converting Larisa (and if the Greeks, in general, stopped revolting every five @#$%ing years). Unfortunately, it seems that Naples has at least 16 regiments. If the Pope honors the alliance it would put the war at 11 + 9 (Pope) vs. 16. That's discounting my other allies (Sardinia and Achaea) and Naples' allies of Venice, Florence, and... Poland, naturally. Good thing their scummy ruler, Giovanna de Valois (4/3/3 [D/A/M]) continues to live (good for me). For what it's worth, Naples is part of the Mameluk gangbang, so if they continue to be distracted on that front I could strike with them focusing their resources elsewhere.

As previously mentioned, getting my sliders into order is another goal (but much more long term than the first).

Getting buildings built in my provinces will probably have to wait after my impending war with Naples. I can't afford the money to go anywhere else.

 

[Mosher]

Ick, Death & Taxes.


Otherwise a good AAR, though.

 

[madviking]

Chapter 4

I catch a huge break (thank you random events) and effectively get a free CB on Naples.



But then I get a bad, bad break. My 6* treasurer, Tancredo Mazzini, has died.



In his stead I hire a Master of Mint, Daniele Ruffo, of Malta. This hire gives me considerably more room with my budget. I can now run a lower deficit without worries of inflation.



Did anyone mention war with Naples?



Of my allies, the Pope and Sardinia honor their alliances (eff you too, Achaea)

Meanwhile, on the other sides alliances on alliances and alliances get honored.



Hungary honors Milan's alliance with them...



If this isn't proof that the AI actively dogpiles on the human player I don't know what is.

Anyway, Naples gets distracted and sends their army to besiege Rome. Using my puny fleet as a meat shield, my army successfully crosses the strait of Messina and sets up camp in Calabria. This is their anthem.


Link to video.

After a long night of revelry and dancing to bad electronic music, they march to Naples and successfully wins the siege with the local Papist army.



New Year's 1372. The main theatre of action. Note that the Papist forces have successfully captured Abbruzzi and Venetian forces are laying siege to northern Sardinia.



At this point I'm actually able to haggle peace with Naples. I gain Calabria (cue music) and 25 ducats.



They accept, naturally.



This is where having a warlord as king comes in useful. You can shred through general-less armies of hapless nations such as Milan with considerable ease.



Unfortunately, my efforts are not enough to sway the entire war in my favor (coalition leader is Hungary, not Naples nor Milan). So I have to sign an unfavorable piece and, in the process, throw Sardinia under the proverbial bus.



I have lost the war but I definitely came out it better. Sniping Calabria means less military for Naples and more military for myself. Unfortunately, Naples retains their alliance with scummy Milan, who've come to acquire some land since we last saw them.

But it wouldn't be long before the armies of Trinacria and Naples fight again...

 

[madviking]

Chapter 5

Techs keep pouring in




This is an awesome decision. Huge amounts of military and cultural tradition and a nice boost to military morale all for a very reasonable price.



SPOILER: the last time the Greeks will rebel. Rebellion cleaned up easily.



Last of the Orthodox heretics convert to The One True Faith^TM



So after throwing Sardinia under the bus in the last war, I'll determined that their alliance with me is no longer worth it.



I naturally sign an alliance with someone more worthy.



I move the top slider closer to centralization. A revolt erupts.



It was swiftly dealt with.



Peacetime monies allow for the construction of workshops.



I get lucky again and Naples gives me a free casus belli.



The 2nd Trinacrian-Neapolitan War is declared on 29 April, 1379.



A few years into the war I get the news of better cavalry being available.



Just over a year and a half into the war, this is what the Italian peninsula is like. Note that Austria has done jack so far.



The Papist States unexpectedly sign a peace wherein they fork over two of their own provinces to Milan.



This puts me in a pickle.



Milan has a 20k death stack barrelin' down on Abbruzzi. Odds aren't good for me to destroy that stack with my measly 12k stack. Moreover, I don't think I would be able to regain the provinces Milan desieges. So, instead of trying to annex Naples this war, it seems I will have to annex Naples next war. However, I do get very favorable peace terms with the filthy Neapolitans.



The main two things is that I get two of their remaining four provinces and that their alliance with Milan is annulled. So hopefully they don't renew the alliance and the next war should be much, much easier.

Shortly thereafter, I sign a white peace with Milan, thereby ending the 2nd Trinacrian-Neapolitan War.



It seems Leopoldo's ambition of becoming King of Sicily is running out of time. He is becoming very old and will have to wait for a period of five years before war can be redeclared...

 

[Antilogic]

Even though it would have been awesome to pick off all of Naples in two wars, white-peacing out Milan is probably the right move. You might have been able to take out that stack in North Italy on the defense (mountains, morale bonuses, and a high-shock general work wonders), but I think there is too great a chance you'll be caught in the open in South Italy.

If only the Hapsburgs would have occupied that Milanese stack...

 

[Peck of Arabia]

I've never played a game of EUIII where Austria wasn't a scumbag ally.

I might have been tempted to try and defend the high ground with a Shock 5 leader, but I guess the positioning of the respective armies left a bit to be desired (would have been much better had your army been in, Abruzzi is it?), and I can see how such a gamble could have gone horribly wrong.
Still there's always next war.

 

[Yeekim]

Never tried D&T, but nice AAR nonetheless.

 

[madviking]

@Antilogic/Peck of Arabia: Yea, I agree. I think I may have made it more important than it should've been; beating Milan in a one-on-one fistfight would certainly be more dramatic, but oh well.

@Yeekim: Thanks!

Chapter 6

So my never ending centralization quest continues. This time only a destabilization occurs.



On 2 April, 1388, Leopoldo I d'Ivrea dies. The Palermo Times immediately dubs him "il Bene", or "the Good". Leopoldo il Bene is succeeded by his son Ferdinando I d'Ivrea. Ferdinando's son, named Leopoldo in honor of his father, becomes heir apparent. Long live the King.



At this point, my five year truce with Naples has ended, but I don't have any casus belli to fight them. Instead of waiting around, I decided to bite the bullet, and attack them sans casus belli. A thing that happened that kinda surprised me is that I got -50% legitimacy.



I make quick work of the now hapless Neapolitans.



Doing so, I complete the requisite conditions to reunite Sicily.



As visible in the background, I become a nice grassy green color instead of that nasty peach color. Also, no more awful purple color for Naples.



Ferdinando I d'Ivrea's reign as king lasts barely over five years, but he has successfully completed what his father set out to do. Ferdinando I d'Ivrea's son, Leopoldo II d'Ivrea, succeeds him. Ferdinando, son of Leopoldo II d'Ivrea, becomes the heir presumptive.



Good news! A 5* natural scientist (bonus to production research) named Achille Ruffo comes to my court. I immediately hire him.



More good news. A 2* statesman (bonus to government research) named Modesto de Gattinara arrives in Sicily. Although not very skilled, my budgetary situation is one where I can now keep a full court of advisers.



More centralization. More rebelling.



We now stop on New Year's Day, 1400. A lot has occurred over the last 46 or so years.

Big picture of Europe on 1 January, 1400.



A picture of my court. I picked up a 4* naval reformer along the way (didn't screencap it...).



My budget/research. I currently earn about 66 ducats a year, which enables me to build one building per year. The provinces I captured from Naples actually had quite a few buildings already built, so I quickly got workshops built, then starting to focus on armories and shipyards. You can also see that my research is very balanced.



My military.



And my government.



In terms of income, I'm pretty far down on the ledger; I'm currently sandwiched between the Teutonic Knights and Genoa at 370.1 ducats per year. My production efficiency is at 39% (good) and my trade efficiency is at 27% (not so good, but we aren't trading at the moment so who cares).

In terms of technology, it appears as if I'm a little bit behind; most nations have some mix of level 8 and level 9 technologies, but I'm not too concerned at the moment.

Our armies are comparable to nations such as Lithuania, Sweden, and the Teutonic Knights.

Being the start of a new century, I'm going to lay out some goals.

1. Uniting Italy. To do so, I need control and a core of either Rome, Florence, or Naples. That's taken care of since I have Naples. The more difficult obstacle will be getting to 25 Italian counties. I currently sit at 9 counties, so getting 16 more will be challenging. It'd probably be easier if there weren't so many single province countries. So it seems that I'm going to be beating up on Milan a lot since they're, other than me, the top dogs in Italy. I won't have to worry about any Austrian intrusions since a) they seem incompetent in this game and b) I'm allied with them. Burgundy hasn't done much either and France seems to be held in check by England and Burgundy.

2. Set up trade. This will greatly benefit my income. But to remain competitive in trade, I'll need a trade national focus. I'm thinking about switching Glourious Arms to National Bank once I move my centralization slider once more. The next national idea doesn't come around until Government level 12. That means it will take me a while to set up the future Sicilian Trading Empire.

What I do after those two things is completely up to you guys. I didn't have a set goal in mind when I started this game. I could just start romping around the greater Mediterranean. I could become a colonial superpower. I could butt heads with China. I'll see what people want me to do and I'll see what I can do about it.

 

[Heretic_Cata]

Great read. These AARs always make me want to play this thing. Maybe some day i'll have the time.

Keep up the good work.