DementedAvenger said:
MT. Rushmore used for decreasing war weariness certainly makes more sense than the Civ 2 equivalent of using Women's Suffrages to reduce war weariness.
Women: Yeah!! We can finally vote!
Men: Yeah!! We can go beat heads longer!
It makes so little sense it's funny
- Thread starter gettingfat
- Start date
MT. Rushmore used for decreasing war weariness certainly makes more sense than the Civ 2 equivalent of using Women's Suffrages to reduce war weariness.
Women: Yeah!! We can finally vote!
Men: Yeah!! We can go beat heads longer!
Bush: I want to build some of those dinky swordsmen types.
Rumsfeld: Sorry, no can do, we don't have any iron.
B: Can't they make the swords out of copper like those Axemen over there ?
R: Nope... seems that copper isn't sharp enough.
B: How about we get some Iron from our old friend Elizabeth in England ?
R: She only has 1 unit of it and cannot spare any.
B: But she's building 37 Swordsmen at once... can't she just build 36 and let us have 1 ?
R: Apparently not.
B: This is beginning to annoy me... do we have any soldiers near her iron mine ?
R: Yep.
B: Let's take that mine off her and then maybe we'll share with her.
---
Later...
Bush: So, did we attack Lizzie's mine like I said ?
Rumsfled: Yep... only there was a small problem.
B: What ?
R: Well, we moved the army right into the mine and it just kept working right on and sending the iron to her.
B: So what did you do ?
R: I realized that we needed to take the nearest city and so I sent the army there.
B: And...
R: The city just let our troops right on in and they got drunk and laid with some of Her Majesties soldiers.
B: So what happened next ?
R: I asked her to give us some of the iron on the basis of our friendship and she said "Go on, make my day" and declared war on us !
B: So our soldiers managed to take the city and the mine after all ?
R: Nope, they instantly moved back to our side of the border and it will take them 5 years to get back to where the iron mine is !
B: Guards !!!
Rumsfeld: Sorry, no can do, we don't have any iron.
B: Can't they make the swords out of copper like those Axemen over there ?
R: Nope... seems that copper isn't sharp enough.
B: How about we get some Iron from our old friend Elizabeth in England ?
R: She only has 1 unit of it and cannot spare any.
B: But she's building 37 Swordsmen at once... can't she just build 36 and let us have 1 ?
R: Apparently not.
B: This is beginning to annoy me... do we have any soldiers near her iron mine ?
R: Yep.
B: Let's take that mine off her and then maybe we'll share with her.
---
Later...
Bush: So, did we attack Lizzie's mine like I said ?
Rumsfled: Yep... only there was a small problem.
B: What ?
R: Well, we moved the army right into the mine and it just kept working right on and sending the iron to her.
B: So what did you do ?
R: I realized that we needed to take the nearest city and so I sent the army there.
B: And...
R: The city just let our troops right on in and they got drunk and laid with some of Her Majesties soldiers.
B: So what happened next ?
R: I asked her to give us some of the iron on the basis of our friendship and she said "Go on, make my day" and declared war on us !
B: So our soldiers managed to take the city and the mine after all ?
R: Nope, they instantly moved back to our side of the border and it will take them 5 years to get back to where the iron mine is !
B: Guards !!!
Mulholland
Happy New Year!!!!
Minister of Science: So....er...Mrs Curie I've reviewed your application for the positon of Great Scientist and..umm... I have to say I'm a little confused.
Marie Curie: About what?
MS: Well you see, right here, on your application you have posted a photograph of a bearded man with a funny looking hat.
MC: Uh...yes well let me explain. You see, I'm really a brilliant mind and think I've alot to offer to the state. But in order to...
MS: Yes. But right...uh...here! Yes, you've posted a photo of a man. A bearded man. With a funny hat. And a beaker!
MC: Yes, but, I've examined the properties of a new element which I call radium, the properties of this element are astounding, If you'd just let me explain...
MS: I'm quite aware of your, discoveries, Mrs Curie, if that IS your real name, but you see...
MC: But sir, if I think I'm on the cusp...
MS: ...But we have yet to discover Universal sufferege in this Civilization(tm). Mrs. Curie. In fact we're running a Communist, Theocratic, Mercantalist, Fiefdom here. Oh! and we've also decided to remain in a Barbaristic state to save on maintence costs.
MC ...
MS: Any questions? Mrs Currie...
MC: Well...could my husband take the credit for my work?
MS: Hmmm. I don't see any problems with that.
Marie Curie: About what?
MS: Well you see, right here, on your application you have posted a photograph of a bearded man with a funny looking hat.
MC: Uh...yes well let me explain. You see, I'm really a brilliant mind and think I've alot to offer to the state. But in order to...
MS: Yes. But right...uh...here! Yes, you've posted a photo of a man. A bearded man. With a funny hat. And a beaker!
MC: Yes, but, I've examined the properties of a new element which I call radium, the properties of this element are astounding, If you'd just let me explain...
MS: I'm quite aware of your, discoveries, Mrs Curie, if that IS your real name, but you see...
MC: But sir, if I think I'm on the cusp...
MS: ...But we have yet to discover Universal sufferege in this Civilization(tm). Mrs. Curie. In fact we're running a Communist, Theocratic, Mercantalist, Fiefdom here. Oh! and we've also decided to remain in a Barbaristic state to save on maintence costs.
MC ...
MS: Any questions? Mrs Currie...
MC: Well...could my husband take the credit for my work?
MS: Hmmm. I don't see any problems with that.
asylumlost
Chieftain
- Joined
- Feb 9, 2006
- Messages
- 21
Has anyone else tried sending a missionary to a civ with free religion?
You can't spread the religion. Correct me if I'm wrong but under free religion isnt more religion a good thing?
You can't spread the religion. Correct me if I'm wrong but under free religion isnt more religion a good thing?
asylumlost said:
You can spread the religion still. But if you're trying to spread a religion to a city which has many religions already you may not have much success - this is probably what you observed.
IIRC only Theocracy does not allow the spread of non-state religions.
Tahuti
Writing Deity
- Joined
- Nov 17, 2005
- Messages
- 9,492
-Adolf Hitler isnt included, while other antisemites as Saladin and Isabella are
-Horses can defeat Tanks.
-Tanks are driven by robots who make a strange noise when giving other to them.
-Metropolises as Moscow and Paris are inhabited by just 15 people or so
-Units are much bigger than cities or improvements
-Aircraft stays forever airborne
-With the appriate techs, you can get an Elvis dressed Great Artist in the 19th century
-Leaders live forever
*All cities have the same architecture, whenever its Arab or French.
*Christianity and Islam doesnt become big religions
*Prophets look the same, whenever its !^!^!0h@mme<| or Jesvs Chr!st
*Caravals can blow up Battleships
*You dont hear a t.A.T.u. song when you met with Russian leaders, while its in fact the thing what makes Russia Russian (Besides Tschaikovsky or how the hell you write his name)
*You can built directly semi-modern WWII aircraft when researched Flight
*There is a Rock N Roll wonder, but no Black Metal wonder.
*After 20 nukes have been launched, there still wont be an armageddon and never shall will! (Boring)
*R&B sucks, oh yeah, thats irrelavent, sorry...
*No Asatru or Satanism, thank god there is still Judaism and Hinduism (My favorite relgions) and Christianity (to beat 'em to a pulp)
-Horses can defeat Tanks.
-Tanks are driven by robots who make a strange noise when giving other to them.
-Metropolises as Moscow and Paris are inhabited by just 15 people or so
-Units are much bigger than cities or improvements
-Aircraft stays forever airborne
-With the appriate techs, you can get an Elvis dressed Great Artist in the 19th century
-Leaders live forever
*All cities have the same architecture, whenever its Arab or French.
*Christianity and Islam doesnt become big religions
*Prophets look the same, whenever its !^!^!0h@mme<| or Jesvs Chr!st
*Caravals can blow up Battleships
*You dont hear a t.A.T.u. song when you met with Russian leaders, while its in fact the thing what makes Russia Russian (Besides Tschaikovsky or how the hell you write his name)
*You can built directly semi-modern WWII aircraft when researched Flight
*There is a Rock N Roll wonder, but no Black Metal wonder.
*After 20 nukes have been launched, there still wont be an armageddon and never shall will! (Boring)
*R&B sucks, oh yeah, thats irrelavent, sorry...
*No Asatru or Satanism, thank god there is still Judaism and Hinduism (My favorite relgions) and Christianity (to beat 'em to a pulp)
asylumlost
Chieftain
- Joined
- Feb 9, 2006
- Messages
- 21
PieceOfMind said:
possibly.. i didnt try using that same missionary on other cities of the same civ.
DaviddesJ
Deity
Kaiserguard said:
Nope. One population point represents many people.
lordex
Chieftain
The first half definitely true - and certainly weird, come to think of it.gettingfat said:
Not sure about the second though. Just in the current game I'm playing, I had almost the same techs, land area as Cyrus and Hatshepsut(a little smaller and behind). Scientific Method came along, and guess what, I got 3 oils, Hat got 1 like right on the border with me, and poor Cyrus got none at all. So 20 turns later, I've wiped out Hat, and finding myself at the gate of Persepolis.
General: Yes sire, my suggestion is that we research the usage of this metal that is commonly known as "Iron".
King: Why?
General: We can use it to make more advanced military units, sire!
King: ...like better Axemen?
General: Oh no, Sire, Iron Axemen would be no better than Bronze Axemen. However, we will be able to use this highly-advanced super-metal to make a weapon called a "Sword" for our soldiers to use! We believe that soldiers using these "swords" will be more effective at attacking cities than big, bulky axes.
King: Excellent! Now we'll be able to capture cities guarded by Axemen! I order you to build as many of these "swords" as you can and launch an immediate offe...
General: Perish the thought, Sire! Those big, bulky axes will chop right through a Swordsman!
King: Even bronze axes?
General: Of course.
King: So you're telling me that we should look into something that will not do us any good?
General: Not at all, Sire! With Iron, our military will...
King: GUARDS!
Epilogue:
King: I want this idiot's head on a stick!
Guard: Uh...you remember when he talked you out of figuring out how to hunt animals, Sire? Well...that would have allowed us to properly prepare a stick for head-placing...
King:
King: Why?
General: We can use it to make more advanced military units, sire!
King: ...like better Axemen?
General: Oh no, Sire, Iron Axemen would be no better than Bronze Axemen. However, we will be able to use this highly-advanced super-metal to make a weapon called a "Sword" for our soldiers to use! We believe that soldiers using these "swords" will be more effective at attacking cities than big, bulky axes.
King: Excellent! Now we'll be able to capture cities guarded by Axemen! I order you to build as many of these "swords" as you can and launch an immediate offe...
General: Perish the thought, Sire! Those big, bulky axes will chop right through a Swordsman!
King: Even bronze axes?
General: Of course.
King: So you're telling me that we should look into something that will not do us any good?
General: Not at all, Sire! With Iron, our military will...
King: GUARDS!
Epilogue:
King: I want this idiot's head on a stick!
Guard: Uh...you remember when he talked you out of figuring out how to hunt animals, Sire? Well...that would have allowed us to properly prepare a stick for head-placing...
King:
DrewBledsoe
Veteran QB
Wish I was getting royalties for the GUARDS! ending 
Keep making me laugh guys..this is about the only thread I can be bother to read at the moment ..
Keep making me laugh guys..this is about the only thread I can be bother to read at the moment ..
Meffy
humanoid skunk
<BoringPedant> Remember that not every place where chunks of rock are lying around should count as a stone resource. Just the finest, most wonder-worthy stuff. </BoringPedant>
vdogamez
Chieftain
Can you still kill tanks with spearmen?
Bushface
Deity
Admiral (excited); Sire, now that we have Steam Power we can build Ironclads !
King (unimpressed); Are they better than Frigates ? Oh, I forgot - the book says we need oil for those.
Admiral: That, sire, is because the book is in some respects out of date. We only need Iron for frigates, which is why we already have some. But now we can have ironclads, which are stronger by half.
King: Does that mean that their bombardment is also stronger ?
Admiral: Er . . . no, sire. It's the same for both types of ship.
King: And are they faster by half ?
Admiral: Er . . . no, sire. They are only half as fast.
King: So they will take twice as long to cross the ocean ?
Admiral: Er . . . no, sire. Ironclads can't enter the ocean at all.
King: So, as we are on an island, what use are ironclads ?
Admiral: Er . . . . .
King: Goodbye, captain.
Admiral: I am an admiral, sire.
King: No, you were an admiral. Now you're a captain, and if I hear any more of your nonsense you'll be an ordinary seaman. Goodbye !
A little later.
Air Minister: Sire, we are ready to display our new fighter !
King: And what can it do ?
Minister: Shoot down enemy aircraft sometimes, sire, or do damage on the ground.
King: Will it destroy those funny things with spinning wings ?
Minister: Er . . . I'm not sure, sire.
King: Can it kill enemy troops ?
Minister: Er . . . no, sire. But it can half-kill them.
King: And how far can it fly ?
Minister: Oh, a full six tiles, sire.
King (looks at map): So from here to here, then ?
Minister: Er . . . no, sire. Six tiles north, south, east or west, but only four diagonally.
King: Which means it will take several flights to get from one side of my country to the other ?
Minister: Oh no, sire. We can rebase it from one city to any other in one flight.
King: Tell me how.
Minister: Er . . .
King: Get out !
King (unimpressed); Are they better than Frigates ? Oh, I forgot - the book says we need oil for those.
Admiral: That, sire, is because the book is in some respects out of date. We only need Iron for frigates, which is why we already have some. But now we can have ironclads, which are stronger by half.
King: Does that mean that their bombardment is also stronger ?
Admiral: Er . . . no, sire. It's the same for both types of ship.
King: And are they faster by half ?
Admiral: Er . . . no, sire. They are only half as fast.
King: So they will take twice as long to cross the ocean ?
Admiral: Er . . . no, sire. Ironclads can't enter the ocean at all.
King: So, as we are on an island, what use are ironclads ?
Admiral: Er . . . . .
King: Goodbye, captain.
Admiral: I am an admiral, sire.
King: No, you were an admiral. Now you're a captain, and if I hear any more of your nonsense you'll be an ordinary seaman. Goodbye !
A little later.
Air Minister: Sire, we are ready to display our new fighter !
King: And what can it do ?
Minister: Shoot down enemy aircraft sometimes, sire, or do damage on the ground.
King: Will it destroy those funny things with spinning wings ?
Minister: Er . . . I'm not sure, sire.
King: Can it kill enemy troops ?
Minister: Er . . . no, sire. But it can half-kill them.
King: And how far can it fly ?
Minister: Oh, a full six tiles, sire.
King (looks at map): So from here to here, then ?
Minister: Er . . . no, sire. Six tiles north, south, east or west, but only four diagonally.
King: Which means it will take several flights to get from one side of my country to the other ?
Minister: Oh no, sire. We can rebase it from one city to any other in one flight.
King: Tell me how.
Minister: Er . . .
King: Get out !
Thisnameislame
Chieftain
- Joined
- Jan 31, 2006
- Messages
- 44
Gunship pilot: Hey look down there, is that an enemy pickmen..oh crap he's stabbing at me! Ahhhhh!!!!!!!! *copter asplodes*
