jokes never seen before

[philippe]

okay here comes the thread nobody has waiting for:
the most stupid and lamest jokes in the world
they are so lame they get actually funny(if you smoked some pot)
joke n1)patient:doctor i think i gonna die
doctor:shut up
joke n2)whore n1:i gonna suckie suckie for 10 dollars
soldier:here you may have this(soldier gives the whore a tube full of ****)
soldier:now suck it!
joke n3)a cabdriver and a priest die at the same time
they both arrive in heaven and the cabdriver may enter first leaving dr priest alone
after a while ask the priest to saint stfghfghfkjghgkfghfkjg
may i go in?
saint:no the cabdrivers passengers prayed that he would live your people in your churche prayed that you died!
joke n4)3 people of a footballteam die
the first one enters the gates of heaven
the guardian asks:how many women do you fuc ked in your life?
footballplayer1:5 women
guardiankay you ger wings of 2 meter and now you are a angel
the second footballplayer arrives
the guardian asked again:how many women did you fuc ked in your life?
he says:56 women
guardian you now get wings of2 meter tall and now you are a angel
the 3rd one arrives and the guardian asked again how many women did you fuc ked in your life?
he answers:wzll ...uhm i am euh....virgin
the guardian you get now wings of 20 centimers tall and now you are a stupid chicken!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!





plz send your lame jokes

 

[Ohwell]

I hope these were meant to be stupid jokes... otherwise, lay off the drugs man!

Anyway, heres one:

What do you call a short psychic that is warranted for arrest:
A Small Medium at Large

Wow that was a dumb joke!

 

[Sparrowhawk]

What if Ghandi had had bad breath?

Super Calloused Fragile Mystic Hexed By Haletosis

(for those foreigners who haven't seen "Mary Poppins", don't feel bad)

 

[philippe]

another joke:
women:hello dear husband i want that you f**k me
husband:no i am sorry i gonna go to the whores

 

[Whiskey Priest]

What is brown and sticky?

A stick!

 

[allhailIndia]

Aaargh stop this madnes at once:aargh3:

 

[History_Buff]

Kill me now.

 

[scorch]

Q. What did the fish say when it crashed into the wall?

A. Damn!

 

[philippe]

patient:uhm doctor...
doc.WHAT!
patient: i think you should look at my wife
she thinkes she is a cow...
doc:well bring her here!
patient:no way!she gives me everyday good milk...

 

[Sixchan]

Sigh...

Two sperms burst into a tunnel, on an important journey.

Sperm 1: Is this it?
Sperm 2: Yep.
Sperm 1: We're on our way to the egg?
Sperm 2: Yeah, but that's us just past the tonsils.

 

[philippe]

one chicken came to a another one
the end

 

[History_Buff]

Phillipe died. Hooray!!!

 

[philippe]

joke number 9)a dog came to a cat the cat said miauw
the dog said woef and the crazy cow said:miauw

 

[Dominix]

A man walked into a bar and said ouch...

 

[Juize]

Philippe is a stupid CFC member
Dominix is a spamming CFC member.

Dominix is banned.

Goodbye

(I laughed )

 

[philippe]

i dont want to get banned

 

[ainwood]

Originally posted by philippe
i dont want to get banned

Where is the Smily for holding my head in my hands!

IF YOU DON'T WANT TO GET BANNED, THEN STOP SPAMMING!

 

[Badluck]

two proton talked to each other:

The first said: i think i lost an electron
the second said: Are you sure
The first response: I'm Positive!!!

 

[scorch]

This aint spam, it is humour.

 

[Zwelgje]

Originally posted by Badluck
two proton talked to each other:

The first said: i think i lost an electron
the second said: Are you sure
The first response: I'm Positive!!!

Great joke!
(actually it's the first physics joke I understand.....)