FIRST, The Ukraine’s first and only television channel, tonight on FIRST.
At 5:00 First News, could water be killing our children? Tune in at 6 to find out.
At 6:00 don’t miss the wacky fun of Comrades! Will Ross marry Rachel? Who knows! It's so crazy!
At 7:00 Natalya shows you new dumpling recipe, tonight a twist! Do not miss!
At 8:00 join super crazy work place at Kiev Paper Corporation, this week German Schnauzer buys company, dog run company?! How crazy! It’s loads of fun every night on FIRST.
We now return to regularly scheduled programming.
Welcome back to First Morning News.
Giorgy hard at work
Giorgy is hard worker in Kirovohrad Metal Works. That is why he is this weeks winner in Ukraine’s Model Patriot competition. His diligent actions and running of labor committee in the factory has head to a 5% decrease in injuries, and a 15% decrease in waste. A truly impressive accomplishment. Kirovohrad Metal Work has informed FIRST that Giorgy is in line for a promotion. Everyone clap for Giorgy.
Now in recent politics, millionaire playboy and western leader De Vries to visits Kirovohrad. So remember wear your shirts inside out on May 15th so this westerner can't curse you and make you infertile.
An out pour of support from the west promises to bring a future of prosperity for our great people. Increased trade with the West will bring new and better paying jobs, more educational opportunities for our children, and a stronger fist to keep back the red bears that surround us and wish to consume us.
Also war continues to rage in places of no concern to us. Eternal peace will always reign, for we know that war is work wasted.
Newly elected president 1960B has announced a new infrastructure and industrial rejuvenation program in order to mobilize our work force for new trade opportunities opening up. Except many more jobs across all of the Ukraine! What a wonderful age we live in.
Now we break for commercial information.