My New Theroy About Women That Guys Often Miss But Is Actully Obvious!

[Eukaryote]

What do women want in men? I've done some limited research on the internet. Limited because I only have so much time to do it and I don't have a credit card. However, I think I've made a breakthrough in what women want after learning about them.

Probably you guys are divided into the ones that think "be kind, considerate, and sensitive," and the ones that think "nice guys finish last." First of all, according to my theory, women actually do want nice guys. Here an Wiki quote for a little evidence:

Herold & Millhausen (1998) asked a sample of undergraduate women "You meet two men. One, John, is nice but somewhat shy. He has not had any sexual experience. The other, Mike, is attractive, a lot of fun, and has had intercourse with 10 women. Both wish to date you. Whom do you choose?" 54% reported a preference for "John," 18% preferred "Mike," and the rest had no preference.

But here's the thing, women also want men who are ATTRACTIVE! They are not the same thing, but if you are NICE and ATTRACTIVE you are a women's dream man. And as nice as you may be, if you're not attractive women won't want you.

However, if I heard this only a couple months ago, I would have said "Yeah, but I'm a nice guy and I look great so why can't I get girls?" But the thing is being attractive is hardly at all about being good looking, or rich, or powerful. Being attractive is about having the SKILLS to make women want you.

And you're maybe thinking "you have no idea what you're talking about because women obviously like jerks." Listen, sometimes being attractive makes you look like a jerk whether you are one or not! This is at least partially because part of being attractive is teasing women at lot, which can look to an outsider like abuse. Also, your own envy can blind you. There are probably other factors at work here, but I don't know what they are. (yet)

Did you think that being nice made women feel attracted to you? I used to think that. However, attraction isn't a concious choice. When you see a beautiful woman, then meet her and find out she's also funny and has all the quirks you like, do you think "hmm, she's pretty cool. I guess I'll be attracted to her now." Of course not, your subconcious mind and or instincts made the descion for you! It's the same with women, they don't think "He's handsome, and kind and he brought me flowers! I'm gonna be attracted to him now." If attraction was a choice, getting girls would be simple. Since it's not, being attractive is more than just a matter of being nice.

Please read the second post too before you post.

 

[Eukaryote]

I don't need to her your "you're young," and "why should we trust a guy that's only had one girlfriend," and "the internet is a crappy source," comments. I get it, I've heard those a million times okay!

isnt it cute that some people spend more time trying to analyze why they dont get play instead of going out and getting it?

Isn't it cute how some people don't realise that before I "go out and get it" I need to figure out how and knowing why I haven't been succeding until know is important to that process?

You still think that you need to do research to understand women? You need to get out more.

All the time that I've spent talking to girls and having fun never taught me a nickel worth of what women want, now I understand something and it was a lot easier than just "getting out more," which I find is easier said than done.

And it's more of a desire than a need really.

 

[Mandeville]

Unfortunately these girls wouldn't know whether John banged 10 girls prior to her unless John, and he wouldn't, reveal this to her. John would probably bang this girl and then she would later discover his sexual promiscuity. John still would have scored. As for the nice guy who is less attractive, he'll score an even hotter and smarter girl than John because he's probably intelligent and will make lots of money and later divorce this hotter girl for a hotter girl when in his 30s and then laugh at John who is now banging cougars.

 

[luiz]

Women want money, homossexuals want men. Maybe it's sad, but it's true.

 

[Trajan12]

It's something I've known for a while. Being a nice guy usually doesn't work unless you're really attractive or really rich. Other than that you need to simply carry yourself as one of those types does. And not be a pushover.

Ever wonder why football players or rich men swagger around like they do? Because they know that since they have talent and/or money people will be attracted to them. And this attitude if not taken to an extreme actually does create attraction. It's basically walking around as if you felt like a million bucks when you're wearing a hundred that gives you the confidence needed to convey that you're someone worth a shot.

 

[Mirc]

It's something I've known for a while. Being a nice guy usually doesn't work unless you're really attractive or really rich. Other than that you need to simply carry yourself as one of those types does. And not be a pushover.

Ever wonder why football players or rich men swagger around like they do? Because they know that since they have talent and/or money people will be attracted to them. And this attitude if not taken to an extreme actually does create attraction. It's basically walking around as if you felt like a million bucks when you're wearing a hundred that gives you the confidence needed to convey that you're someone worth a shot.

Exactly. Exactly what I believe.

 

[Gaius Octavius]

Okay, first off...

Mike = Perfection

John = Dan Q

Now you're telling me that if I behave like John, I'm supposed to get (statistically) 3 times as many girls? Hey, you hear that, Perf! You're going about it all the wrong way!!!

No, actually I have no doubt that many women, given full knowledge of this setup, would prefer John over Mike. There are several problems, however, the least of which is, "Can you keep her?" Mike does not have to worry about that, since he doesn't care anyway. John sounds like the sincere type who would have an active interest in meaningful relationships, though fewer. Therefore John starts out at a disadvantage in that his goals are ultimately harder to achieve.

I think humor enters into the equation quite a bit, and I recall reading about a study of humor's role in forming relationships. Apparently, there is a link between that and successful dating, with funny guys being the great charmers (think Hawkeye Pierce). The trick is that it has to be a particular kind of humor--the kind women like, so the article went. I won't delve into the details here because it's probably wrong anyway.

Beyond that, I agree with Trajan12. Honestly, I don't see what's so new about this discovery.

 

[ybbor]

so you're saying attraction requires a woman to find you atteractive? Quite the novel breakthrough there.

 

[Japanrocks12]

I want to believe you. But I can't. women aren't that easily categorized. It varies from woman to woman, and you have to get to know them to find out what they like in a guy.

 

[ParadigmShifter]

Not as controversial as Anne Elk (Miss) and her new theory about brontosauruses.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cAYDiPizDIs

 

[Neonanocyborgasm]

Herold & Millhausen (1998) asked a sample of undergraduate women...

And that was their first mistake, asking. The problem is that you cannot ask people what they would do if they're not in that situation. People will always pick what seems like the best choice. Women are no better. You would be hard pressed to find a woman who admits to being interested in the worst reprobate of a man, yet they are with those men and choose to be with them long after discovering them for who they are. This means that women cannot be trusted to mean what they say, and it appears that they cannot even trust themselves. So to get at what women really want, you have to observe their actions, not their words.

But here's the thing, women also want men who are ATTRACTIVE! They are not the same thing, but if you are NICE and ATTRACTIVE you are a women's dream man. And as nice as you may be, if you're not attractive women won't want you.

That's because being nice is interpreted by women as supplicating, and you cannot be attractive as a man and supplicate to anyone, least of all a woman. So as a man, you constantly have to reinforce the notion that you are in command of her and not the other way around. You can still be nice but you have to be firm with a woman. If she makes demands on you that are acquiesced, she will take that as a sign of weakness and lose respect for you as a man.

 

[C~G]

Nevermind.

 

[JZ_UK]

The more of these threads I see the more I begin to wonder if the posters have actually had a relationship...

There are no rules with woman or people, postulating over it isn't going to get you in anyone's pants boys and girls... be you, be reasonably brave, learn to take opportunities when they come and once you're actually there be attentive and compromise! (which... actually is more a matter of doing something you don't want to do more than getting something the other half to do something they don't want to... ah... such is life ^_~)

 

[Comraddict]

If women would actually know what they want and how it works..

There is nice a priori/posteriori theory: women think that they like nice guys who treat them right, but they actually fall for aggressive careless bad boys who treat them like garbage.

 

[Eran of Arcadia]

Women are nice to look at, but beyond that what is the point really?

Also, YMMV and everyone is an individual and yada yada yada . . .

 

[Harbringer]

If women would actually know what they want and how it works..

There is nice a priori/posteriori theory: women think that they like nice guys who treat them right, but they actually fall for aggressive careless bad boys who treat them like garbage.

y theory onthat is that some women have soe kind of motherly complex in where they feel oligated to "fix" the horsehockey boyfriend.

As for the OP I dont beleive youv ever had a girldfriend there bud, the main problem is that men and women both try to thrown eachother into two distinct molds. Each women is different from the next as is each man, you cant categorize them all. Its frustrating I know but there is no definite answer, everyne is different. Once you realize taht then you will start to "get those girlz".

 

[BCLG100]

The more of these threads I see the more I begin to wonder if the posters have actually had a relationship...

There are no rules with woman or people, postulating over it isn't going to get you in anyone's pants boys and girls... be you, be reasonably brave, learn to take opportunities when they come and once you're actually there be attentive and compromise! (which... actually is more a matter of doing something you don't want to do more than getting something the other half to do something they don't want to... ah... such is life ^_~)

I think you must have missed the opening paragraph where he said he'd researched this on the internet...

 

[LucyDuke]

What do women want in men? I've done some limited research on the internet.

Research "what women want in men" on the internet?

Edit. Hey! Crosspost! I don't think I've done that before...

 

[JollyRoger]

Research on the internet?

Trying to apply research on the internet to the art of attracting women generally leads one right back to the internet for "self-help" purposes. So I've heard.

Edit. Hey! Crosspost! I don't think I've done that before...

Confirmation you haven't gone on a date with IglooDude.

 

[mrt144]

isnt it cute that some people spend more time trying to analyze why they dont get play instead of going out and getting it?