NEB1: One Thousand and One Ways to Die

I'm not accusing you, Matt is. I believed (as I have said before) that this war was invetible. So you're Ok. :)
 
Umm, I've only got the map done so far, kind of. I may be another few hours at this rate, just to let you know.
 
EDIT: update below!

Thought: I freely admit I've done my usual thing of over-expanding a simple NES concept it until it cannot be updated quickly. In future I'm always going to give myself a couple of nights worth or at least a 24-hour period to do these updates.
 
Looks like it going to be a good one.
I wonder how I got the free Airstrike on Aqua HQ?!?!:confused:
Its nice with the Winter/Holidays theme too.
 
My forces have doubled in size as well.
 
Penguinska Arrives

The cybernetic penguin, Tekk, fumbled with a few buttons on his control panel, preparing for the wide-range broadcast. A light went green, and he began to speak.

"Greetings commanders of the Penguinskan Imperium. I am Head Communications Officer Tekk of the Glacier. I broadcast this message to request an immediate redeployment of forces. A massive polar bear force has been detected in the dimension classification NEB1. Success in this universe is a critical point for maintaining our current alliance with NAO, which has stood proudly ever since... that... thing with Iggy and Thlayli getting stranded on Delta Panzerus... and all that.

Anyway, this is a multiversal request for all Penguinskan forces to immediately hyperspace to the transmitted co-ordinates. Have your weapons systems online, and be on the watch for Flying Animated Titanics. Tekk Out."


It should be noted that, while organizations such as NAO are exclusively focused in the NESing sphere, the Penguinskan Imperium is an organization spanning several universes, and is thus several orders of magnitude larger. While this theoretically puts a colossal amount of resources at the disposal of Penguinskan commanders, this is counterbalanced by the fact that Penguinska inexplicably does not simply overwhelm everything it encounters. Said Penguinskan commanders are frequently confused and highly frustrated by this, and generally chalk it up to the colossal, dysfunctional bureaucracy, an unwillingness to overfocus in one specific area, a desire to give everyone a sporting chance, or simply the fact that given the choice between hanging out and eating sushi or getting killed in violent, horrific, and hilarious ways, most choose the former.

At any rate, there are still those ambitious (Trik), adventurous (Gris), unlucky (Pikt) or mentally unbalanced enough (Generally Everyone) who choose to travel around the multiverse- and it is they who answer the call.


Captain Kris of the Snowpenguin received the message in the midst of a festive repainting the exterior of his craft in seasonal colours, ostensibly to use up the remainder of the budget.

After the message completed, he stood up, straightened his red and white-fringed conical hat, and thought for a moment.

"Are we really needed in ZPNES III?"

"Well, has anyone moved at all in the last few years?"

"Not much."

"Then we probably aren't."

"Wonderful! Set a course for... that place that the robot one was talking about."


Onboard the Avalanche, fighting a standstill war on Greenland in a LuckNESverse, things were slightly less festive.

"Ugh, we got sauce all over the windshield again."

"Damn the Vegetable Overlords! They're even harder to deal with in death!"

"I got some in my eye! He was a habanero! It hurts!"

"Just drink some milk, it'll go away."

"My eye!"

"Oh, stop being such a cry baby- did you hear something on the radio?"

"Something about a battle with polar bears."

"Is it here?"

"Not the one that the radio guy was talking about."

"Great- any excuse to get out of here- let's go."


Admiral Trik adjusted his medals, and stepped up behind Tekk.

"Results?"

"We've got responses."

"Excellent. We'll mass our forces, then strike-"

"T-minus 8 seconds until our jump."

"WHAT?"

"Massing here is an inefficient use of time- we will jump straight into high-altitude NEB1 orbit."

"An entire scattered fleet is travelling to a single location without any preparation?"

"You doubt my multitasking capacities."

"Yes! You may have half of a computer's brain because of... well, I'm not sure why. Anyway- how did we say all of this in under eight seconds?"

"We talked quickly. Perhaps you should read this over again quickly to get a better idea of how it sounds."

"Who are you talking to?"

"Never mind. Here we-"
 
Lord Iggy, do you mind if I make stories involved in that general area? I promise I won't stuff it up like last time.
 
I'm only intending to start a space battle of ridiculous scale against the Polar Bears, in high orbit above Soldia. You can feel free to join. :)
 
I'm not sure what you'll think of this one, but...

The P.S.S Antartica
Commodore Jeren smiled. The information was somewhat out of date, but he had learned that massive Penguin forces were moving for NEB1.

"Everything is proceeding as I have forseen."
"Could you stop ripping off lines from movies?"
"Go ahead, make my day."
"What?"
"KHAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

"Yes sir?" replied Officer Khan.
"Don't criticise me in front of the men!"
"Yes-sir." said Khan, cowering slightly.

"Anyway, with Penguin forces converging on NEB1, we can attack undefended points for our own advantage."
"Isn't that dishonorable?"
"Since when did we turn Klingon?"
"Since last Tuesday."

"To hell with the rules" said Jeren. "Follow the white-"
"That's it!" shouted Khan, "One more quote and I mutiny!"

Jeren sighed. "Alright, let's go. All ships, prepare to jump!"
"Our target, sir?"
"Sheep N-E-S."
 
Cows will of course have to join in :p
 
HO HO HO!!!:santa2:
Here's a christmas present.:xmastree:
Spoiler :
NEB1turns1-11.gif
 
Can i join as those snowmen? By the way awesome animation.
 
People already have? Aw dang nevermind then.
 
Turn 11

The festival of Commerzimas, from the Encyclopedia Soldia:

Yeti.gif


According to the 4,000 year old legend, the prophet Clawzanta was born at this time of year, in a lowly igloo, to an elf-woman mother who had been impregnated by a three-headed wise man called Mirth. The Dark God sent an army of tree-men to capture the holy child. But a divine donkey arrived to protect Clawzanta and his elf mother after being guided across the wilderness by a glowing yeti. The donkey first tried to bribe the tree-men by shedding its golden ears, sacrificing its ability to fly. When this didn't work, the donkey destroyed the army of tree-men with divine fury.

The festival of Commerzimas celebrates the traditional Soldian virtues of loyalty, friendship, sacrifice, and the devastation of the natural environment. People celebrate this by cutting down trees, giving each other expensive gifts and drinking alcohol.


---

Unusual cold weather continued across Soldia.

The nuclear destruction of the Imperial Capitol had been a shock to all sides. But even without a capitol to fight over, the fighting raged on…

---

COBRA (Gold army) moved to counter the threat from the mysterious Brown army in the south east. Again, there was a three-way battle around H3 and I3 involving the giant Chaotic Anarchist battle robot which was already trailing smoke and flames. Brown's remaining light tanks concentrated fire on the robot, and finally managed to disable it, but were then engaged and knocked out by advancing COBRA medium tanks.

Gold forces pressed the attack with heavy artillery support - General Thlayli was back in action, having miraculously survived the nuclear blast (apparently by being on one of the helicopters which escaped destruction) and arrived on the bridge of the new COBRA gunboat in time to see the last few salvos fired on Brown positions. Gold rocket artillery and light artillery added to the bombardment while armored cars moved in from the south. Brown's stormtroopers held out bravely against this onslaught.

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Heavy rain then began to slow things down. Brown's own armored cars covered the retreat of the battered stormtroopers into the snowy hills beyond. The docks at I3 are still in Brown's hands at this point.

Brown army stopped sending shells in the direction of Red's territory and made no attempt to move northwards. It seems those two sides have signed a peace treaty.

> The battle-robot at H3 is not completely destroyed. It might be possible to dismantle it for useful parts ($?) or even repair it.

---

Green army was officially disbanded, to become an integrated part of COBRA. Green Guerrilla Command (GGC) was renamed to COBRA Guerrilla Command (CGC) remaining under the control of general Tuxedohamm. Few of the former-Green soldiers were really happy about this - MooseWarrior, the first heroic patriot of the Green cause, has not been forgotten and some claim he is still alive. But CGC units were soon dispersed and mixed amongst other COBRA forces, which prevented any rebellion, at least for now.

---

After CGC irregulars moved away from the city at I10, the remaining Gold irregulars were overrun by the lurking Chaotic troopers. Again there were reports of civilians being massacred or forced to serve as Chaotic soldiers. Also there are signs that some of the Kangaraptor creatures have survived and are now lurking in the wilderness south of I10.

As the alliance with Aqua appeared to be holding, other COBRA/CGC units headed north-westwards in anticipation of conflict with Red Army.

> A brand new COBRA arms facility is now operational, and has already produced a batch of upgraded heavy weapons. A supply convoy is ready to transport these weapons to any of Gold's units.

---

Following the destruction of the capitol, some observers hoped that COBRA and Red Army, having most of Soldia under their combined control, would agree a peace treaty and end the war. This was not to be. It now seemed that only total victory by one faction would ever end the war.

Even while the mushroom cloud still hung in the sky, general Matt0088 was planning the continuation of the Great Red Crusade, now to be directed against Gold forces. Some Red units had taken damage from the nuclear blast but still proved capable of fighting. Inspired by their leaders and with the faith of 'Gods Will' spreading through the ranks, Red troops showed no hesitation in bravely marching across radioactive-contaminated ground to start a war with COBRA and their nationalist (AQUA) allies.

For now there was a single target of interest in the south, namely the airfield at F5, near the former capitol. Red units attacked the airfield from three directions and with surprising speed. The Sturmsoldner mercenaries under COBRA command were already unnerved by the nuclear blast and were preparing to withdraw, despite instructions to stay and fight. Red forces soon captured the airfield more or less intact (the Sturmsoldners having no time to sabotage it properly) and later began to skirmish with Gold reinforcements at G5.

Many Red units became contaminated by nuclear fallout in the process.

MetalSlug5_M2P3.jpg


Two interceptor wings of the Red airforce raced to the burning skies over the former capitol, hoping to intercept any damaged Gold aircraft before they could escape to safety. One of the interceptor wings spotted and dived down on the surviving COBRA tank-killers - most of which were already missing one engine or part of a wing, but nonetheless managed to put up a fight. Both sides also had some support from mobile flakkers on the ground.

The tank-killers were all shot down, but they took a toll on the fragile Red interceptors. The weather then began to worsen, and a barrage of SAMs (fired from the CGC mobile launcher at G7) flew out of the clouds, finishing off one of the Red interceptor wings and forcing the other to turn back. The damaged COBRA gunships and helicopters were able to scatter and take shelter in the south (the originally-proposed rendezvous point at E8 was not looking safe for various reasons).

---

> An uprising by Orange loyalists occurred in the countryside around Orange HQ. So far these rebels have not attacked any Red units.

---

Meanwhile, Red's northern force attacked Aqua (Nationalist) HQ, rolling straight across the frozen straights. The Aqua troops guarding this area had never seen any combat since the war began. Although well fortified, they seemed to hesitate in the face of determined attack from Matt0088's personal tank guard unit.

Nationalist general Vertinari118 managed to contact Aqua command and organise a unit of StuG's to reinforce the HQ, but by the time these were ready for combat a fierce blizzard had begun. The fighting then slowed to a crawl. Both sides tried to use air support, but Aqua's light fighters couldn't pick out targets through the thick clouds, while Red's heavy airstrike landed partly off-target doing little damage.

> The ice near Aqua HQ is being weakened by explosions. Some Red tanks have already fallen victim.

---

General Vertinari's commandos were still in the south, attempting to retake city C8 from Chaotic control. A unit of heavy tanks was supposed to be providing support, but they never arrived. The commandos went ahead regardless. With Vertinari leading from the front, they managed to chase away the two Chaotic trooper units and their scout helicopter backup, although they took heavy casualties in the process.

The reason for the heavy tanks' absence was the reappearance of the Aqua commander codenamed Neverwonagame3 (who had faked his own assassination, and was now wearing a partial exo-suit similar to Xolniu). The heavy tanks were still loyal to Neverwonagame and carried out his bold plan for retaking the southern city at E8 and port at D9 from COBRA control, booting out COBRA officials and bureaucrats and preventing damaged COBRA helicopters from landing there.

Neverwonagame appealed for other Aqua units to follow his tough stance against COBRA, to force a rewriting of the 'unfair' COBRA-Aqua alliance. Although some nationalist sympathisers from the south joined Neverwonagame as irregular troops, the rest of Aqua forces remained loyal to Vertinari's command. Neverwonagame was left in command of his own splinter faction, codenamed 'Deep Blue'…

---

> It seems that one Anarchist unit has survived the nuclear blast - a damaged transport ship, which has drifted north and is now stuck in ice. It isn't clear if anyone or anything is still onboard. In any case it seems likely to sink once the ice melts.

> One of the strange atmospheric phenomena has returned, currently hovering over G1.

Mountainss.png


> Several incidents of fraternisation occurred between opposing forces, despite the threat of summary executions. It seems the cold weather, the nuking of the capitol, and the endless fighting combined to cause a sense of disillusionment among some units.

---

WEATHER REPORT:

Skies are expected to clear. Cold temperatures may continue for some time.

Radioactive fallout is expected to begin spreading southwards.

INCOME:

Red received $7 out of a maximum of $8.
Orange received $0 out of 0.
Gold received $9 out of 9.
Green received $0 out of 0.
Aqua received $3 out of 3.
Deep Blue received $1 out of 2.
Brown received $3 out of 3.

NOTES:

PM's will be sent sometime. I have to go spend time with friends and family now :) EDIT: PM's sent.

I've just received something very interesting from Symphony D. More on that later!

@Matt0088, a new animated map? It looks great, though I think my connection doesn't like it right now, its got stuck on turn 4 :(

BTW, Nuclear contamination has the following effects:

UNITS - reduced fighting ability (but not crippling). Will randomly take a little bit of damage each turn (though cannot be killed this way). 50% chance to remove contamination if spending a whole turn regrouping/repairing.

BUILDINGS - will count as if damaged, IE only providing their $ income 50% of the time.

Also, umm, Merry Christmas :snowcool:

----

STORY:

Mystery Player asked me to post this story...

General Ro Chiphal looked out upon Soldira, towards the distant skyline of the Imperial City. He sighed, watching the massive offensive form afar, and he could no nothing, even after all the Anarchists did for them.
"Why can't humans see reason...it truly is a pitty." he said softly to himself. Suddenly, a large mushroom cloud rose over where the Imperial City should have been. He shook his head slowly.
"Intra-species conflict taken to such extremes. What fools God made of humans." he said, ending with a long sigh.
"General, we've lost contact with the Imperial City."
"As expected Lieutenant."
"Also, sir, the war room is preped for the conference you asked for."
"Very good. Thank you Lieutenant."
Chiphal walked out of the observatory bridge, and into the war room, leaving the Lieutenant to watch the lands. Set up in the room was a round table, seating two, and holding up three monitors, with commanders from abroad. Chiphal sat down.
"Greetings gentlemen. We are here to discuss the situation our unit, the Sciuridaen Expeditionary Force, is in. Present we have Col. Penklip of Base Defenses, Lt.Col. Vilgant of the 9th Air Wing, and from the field and back home, Lt.Col. Hoblop of the 7th Mechanized Brigade, Col. Fugip of the 12th Armored Division, and Gen. Genzo-Wim of the Sciuridaen Home Army." All them men nodded and greeted the others, and from Fugip's monitor came a soft boom and some static. Chiphal cleared his throat.
"Lets get this meeting underway, shall we?"
 

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thats pretty awesome
 
Nice update, will not be on tomorrow, so don't do anything to important. :) And Merry Christmas! :santa2: :snowgrin: :snowcool: :snowlaugh: :xmastree: :xmassign:
 
Uncloak: Howdy gentlemen. I am playing as Brown. Feel free to send diplo directly to me now.

From: The Sciuridaen Expeditionary Force
To: Red


It seems that you have finally, after a very very long time, accepted our ceasefire. Very good. Lets hope this lack of fighting grows into something...long lasting.

To: Deep Blue
Your forces were sided with us briefly...then turned to COBRA. If you wish to re-ally yourselves with us, you are more than welcome to do so.

To: Penguins

If it weren't for the fact that we have no space craft...we would see you in space. GET LOWER SO WE CAN SHOOT YOU!!!

To: Highland Cows

Greetings fellow herbivore! Let us meet to discuss our futures!
 
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