Taking advantage of a recent change in UK employment law, I am about to spend 6 months on paternity leave, looking after my baby son whilst my wife goes back to work. The deal is that, since she is entitled to a year's maternity leave, I can take any portion of that in her place, and my employer is obliged to keep my job available for when I return in September. Though I won't be getting a salary during this period, I should be entitled to some amount of statutory paternity pay for the first 2-3 months.
As to the reasons... Career-wise, my wife is far more driven (not to mention vastly more competent) than I am, and the fact that she earns several times what I do makes it a no-brainer for our finances. We both feel that, given the choice, it's too early for the boy to go into a nursery full-time. I'm also quite keen to do it just so as to get to know him better, and, while I'm sure I'll miss my job, I'm very much looking forward to the new experiences and challenges to come.
One interesting thing I've noticed already, however, is the differing attitudes to my 'baby holiday' (as my wife insists on calling it) that I've encountered amongst the people I've told. Several of the fathers have said "Man, I wish I could've done that", and a few of the younger guys have expressed a desire to do likewise, should the chance arise. Most others have said that they wouldn't want to do it themselves, but even they haven't given the impression that they see anything wrong with it. Amongst the women I've told, on the other hand, there have been quite a few who seemed rather less than impressed. A couple have said right out that they don't think it's a man's role to look after children, and many others have focused on how difficult it's going to be, both for me and my wife. I don't assume for a second that the people I've talked to are representative of the population at large. But, in my own social and professional environment, it certainly seems as if the females are less enthused by the idea than the males.
So, moving to the point, how does the hive-mind of OT view my new role? What does it say about modern attitudes to gender, parenthood and employment that such changes to the law are taking place? Are those women right to think maybe there's something wrong with this? Has anyone here been a stay-at-home dad, or known someone else who has? Can I consider myself a 'real man' anymore? Will I start turning mumsy?
As to the reasons... Career-wise, my wife is far more driven (not to mention vastly more competent) than I am, and the fact that she earns several times what I do makes it a no-brainer for our finances. We both feel that, given the choice, it's too early for the boy to go into a nursery full-time. I'm also quite keen to do it just so as to get to know him better, and, while I'm sure I'll miss my job, I'm very much looking forward to the new experiences and challenges to come.
One interesting thing I've noticed already, however, is the differing attitudes to my 'baby holiday' (as my wife insists on calling it) that I've encountered amongst the people I've told. Several of the fathers have said "Man, I wish I could've done that", and a few of the younger guys have expressed a desire to do likewise, should the chance arise. Most others have said that they wouldn't want to do it themselves, but even they haven't given the impression that they see anything wrong with it. Amongst the women I've told, on the other hand, there have been quite a few who seemed rather less than impressed. A couple have said right out that they don't think it's a man's role to look after children, and many others have focused on how difficult it's going to be, both for me and my wife. I don't assume for a second that the people I've talked to are representative of the population at large. But, in my own social and professional environment, it certainly seems as if the females are less enthused by the idea than the males.
So, moving to the point, how does the hive-mind of OT view my new role? What does it say about modern attitudes to gender, parenthood and employment that such changes to the law are taking place? Are those women right to think maybe there's something wrong with this? Has anyone here been a stay-at-home dad, or known someone else who has? Can I consider myself a 'real man' anymore? Will I start turning mumsy?
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