Pilot gripe sheets

[ULTIMATEGP]

Thius is a REAL list of gripe sheet complaints that pilots fill out when they land. Then the mechanics reply and fix it.

P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.

P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.

P: Something loose in cockpit.
S: Something tightened in cockpit.

P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on back-order.

P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent.
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.

P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.

P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That's what they're for.

P: OFF inoperative.
S: OFF always inoperative in OFF mode.

P: Suspected crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you're right.

P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.

P: Aircraft handles funny. (I love this one!)
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.

P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.

P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.

And the best one:

P: Noise coming from under instrument panel . Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.
S: Took hammer away from midget

 

[BCLG100]

by real do you mean someone has 'really' come up with these?

 

[Pentium]

These are great

 

[CivFan91]

 

[Maniacal]

This is great!

 

[Ultima Dragoon]

Not too bad... the last one is really good, though.

 

[azzaman333]

Funny stuff.

 

[homeyg]

I highly doubt those are real..

 

[Maniacal]

Same, I posted this on another forum and a couple of people had seen them before. But they are still funny.

 

[Dreadnought]

P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.

All of them are really great, but I liked this one alot

 

[SuperBeaverInc.]

I saw this a while ago. Apparently it is from Qantas.

 

[Sophie 378]

Seen these before - maybe a couple of years ago - but never with the midget before.

 

[Quentin]

Poor midget

 

[Erik Mesoy]

Best read late in the evening. I had had too much sugar and too little sleep, so I laughed until tears were coming out of my eyes.

 

[{|}$~\]

Thius[sic] is a REAL list...

Click Here.

 

[CivFan91]

That page never says it's a myth...

 

[AngryPants]

I got quality chuckles from this, thank you.

 

[Eran of Arcadia]

That page never says it's a myth...

If it refers to something as a 'legend', that usually means that it is so obviously not realistic that there is not even a chance that it is genuinely true.

 

[CivFan91]

It's possible this list is now an amalgam of entries collected from a variety of sources, a mixture of both real and bogus items, or nothing but a bit of creative humor.

I rest my case, your Honor...

 

[BCLG100]

Click Here.

see what i said a couple of weeks ago...