My God...
This is quite possibly going to be the most explosive rant I probably will ever make. More allcaps and possibly a picture. There will be rage?
What is it about?
I think we have to read Twilight in sophomore year for school.
WHO THE HELL DECIDED TO DO THIS? TWILIGHT IS JUST SOME ******** TEEN GIRL ROMANCE NOVEL WITH FAKE VAMPIRES.
Why are they fake?
Real vampires DIE when sunlight hits them. In Twilight, however, they just SPARKLE LIKE *edited for language, The Dots don't help the mood*!!!!
Here's the plot: Some dumb bimbo wants a boyfriend and is desperate for "the right guy" when she meets some other idiot. Idiot turns out to be some dumb pseudo-vampire that uses a gallon of hair gel a day trying desperately to lose his virginity. Bimbo and Idiot fall in love. The Pseudo-Vampire Mafia wants to kill the idiot, but the Bimbo gets in the way. Bimbo almost dies, but Idiot then decides to make her into a pseudo-vampire. Various makeout scenes scattered throughout. And Bram Stoker's ghost drives a stake through all the pseudo-vampires' hearts, killing them all. THANK JESUS.
There you go. That's all you need to read. BUT EVERY TEEN GIRL ACROSS AMERICA LOVES IT. AND THEN SOME GROWNUPS. AND THEN SOME BOYS. WHY DO THEY LIKE THIS CRAP?
BECAUSE TWILIGHT IS A POORLY-WRITTEN EXCUSE FOR LITERATURE. IF YOU WANT TO READ A VAMPIRE NOVEL, READ BRAM STOKER, ANNE RICE, OR CHRISTOPHER PIKE.
In all seriousness, whoever decided this terrible excuse for literature was good for school reading should be shot.