Also, this is exhausting and mindnumbing. I'd type a post like this early morning's but it's too early. Why am I who I am, how did I get to be this and why am I not something else, why can't be a true person? I'm just an unanswered question, an inevitable dilemma. A choice that is yet to be made, but is there nevertheless. I'm a world awaiting for the final verdict. My life is of paths not walked, of decisions adjourned. I walk down a path that was made for me, but was it made by me? and back comes the ghost that grabs my self from my inside, that pulls me down and sows in me doubt. I'm but a leaf on a stream, a seagull swimming in petroleum, I see but I my sight can't reach reality, it can't reach what lies behind the dark and thick layer that covers me and my eyes. What is it that I am, that I like, that I love, if there is? Why won't the weight be gone, why the veil lifted, the oil cleaned and my wings wide spread to pull myself out of this mess and at last into the air?