RANDOM RANTS XXXI: I hate my job

[carmen510]

Even though twilight is trying to be serious I find it great comedy. Everything is so exaggerated. It's actually quite a hilarious and entertaining movie if you watch it the way it was meant to be.

New Moon is actually the greatest comedy I've ever seen that wasn't trying to be one. Eclipse was ruined by the fact that it was actually a better movie; it simply turned mediocre and that's no fun to watch.

I actually cannot wait to see Breaking Dawn; I really want to see how they turn the content in that book "family friendly", as they promised.

 

[Kennigit]

This should solve all your troubles CivG.

SANDWICHES
proof that god exists and is benevolent and kind

I know I worship the Sandwich Maker

Spoiler :

A sandwich is a extremely complex creation. The precise relationship between the width and height of the slice of bread and also its thickness which would give the proper sense of bulk and weight to the finished sandwich-- here again, lightness is a virtue, but so too are firmness, generosity and that promise of succulence and savor that is the hallmark of a truly intense sandwich experience.


The knife used it of critical importance. THe knife must have the perfect suppleness, strength, keeness of edge, and length and balance. Three knives should be used: first, the knife for slicing of the bread- a firm, authoritative blade that imposes a clear and defining will on a loaf. Second, the butter knife, which is a whippy little number but with a firm backbone.

Then comes the third and chief knife- the carving knife. It must work with the grain of meat to achieve slices of the most exquisite consistency and translucency, that would slide away from the filmy folds from the main hunk of meat. The Sandwich Maker would then flip each sheet with a smooth flcik of the wrist onto the beatifully proportioned lower bread slice, trim it in four deft strokes and assemble the trimmings into a perfectly fitting jigsaw of pieces on top of the primary slice. Every sandwich was different in the size and shape of the trimmings, but the Sandwich maker is always able to effortlessly and without hesitation assemble them into a patttern that fit perfectly.

Next would be the addition of the few slices of newcumber and fladish and a touch of splagberry sauce, and then apply the topmost layer of bread and cut the sandwich with a fourth and all together plainer knife. Although this was a less skillful operation than the cutting of the meat and the trimmings, it is still critically important. Every sandwich is so lovingly crafted into a piece of deliciousness, but only the Sandwich Maker knows how to craft such a perfect sandwich.

What complexities of a Sandwich! How can a man understand the process of a Sandwich? Only The Sandwich Maker can make the deliciousness of the sandwich, can make the structure so perfect, can account for why the sandwich exists. The Sandwich Maker, holder of all these complexities, must be God.

 

[Takhisis]

*gasp*

1. You claim that God is akin to some sort of cosmic Sandwich Maker. Actually, He made the Cosmos in which sandwiches can happen.
2. You have claimed that Bernadette is hotter than Penny.
3. You have insulted my Kittens

All of those are cause for me to issue a warrant with your name on it. For HERESY.

 

[aimeeandbeatles]

She's on Tom Petty forums. I doubt that's the problem. Do you see people berated here for talking about Civilization too much?

Believe it or not, that's part of the issue. Apparently I'm a know-it-all???

 

[Gamemaster77]

Rant: The postcount of the rants thread is now greater than the raves thread. Just when I thought we were cooling down too.

 

[aimeeandbeatles]

Rant: I'm not gonna get the 1000th post here. It would be nice after I snagged the raves thread.

 

[Gamemaster77]

Rant: I'm not gonna get the 1000th post here. It would be nice after I snagged the raves thread.

Neither am I most likely
I was hoping for it this time since I haven't got one yet

 

[aimeeandbeatles]

I once got a Questions thread but it sorta broke down and got locked at something like 600 posts.

 

[Takhisis]

Rant: people saying they won't snag the 1k mark.

 

[azzaman333]

I have a feeling that whoever gets the 1000th post will screw it up.

 

[aimeeandbeatles]

I have a feeling that whoever gets the 1000th post will screw it up.

What do you mean?

 

[Zack]

I have a feeling that whoever gets the 1000th post will screw it up.

They always do. Why do you think the first page of a rants thread is always complaining about how much the thread sucks?

 

[Gamemaster77]

What do you mean?

You know, won't have the traditional angry face and roman numerals. They might give it a stupid name and wont link to the other rant threads.

 

[aimeeandbeatles]

You know, won't have the traditional angry face and roman numerals. They might give it a stupid name and wont link to the other rant threads.

Well I did it properly to the Raves thread and I promise if I get this one I will do it properly here too. But some people won't like the name I imagine

 

[Takhisis]

I at least did everything by the book last time, XXX, angry face, the works.

 

[aimeeandbeatles]

I dont like it when people forget the angryface. Thread harder to find

 

[Takhisis]

Why don't you just check your subscriptions page?

 

[aimeeandbeatles]

I don't use subscriptions

 

[Kennigit]

sssnnnniiipppeeee (nah, setting up for 1000)

 

[Gamemaster77]

Rant: I'm either actually not the 1000th poster and someone beat me or I was wrong about not getting the 1000th post.

EDIT: Yes! It was the second one.