[RFC] Rome: Eternal Empire

[Jwitti]

That's the second one that I've seen first and NOT realized was new..... C2C is frying my brain

 

[Optical]

Welcome to the forums!

 

[Akbarthegreat]

Welcome to the forums!

First time I got to do this

 

[MoreEpicThanYou]

Now that I think about it, I think he just made his account so he could make that post...

 

[hoplitejoe]

The first post is always the hardest.

 

[clearmurky]

Still, you have to update soon!

 

[MoreEpicThanYou]

True...

I'll get around to it eventually(TM).

 

[thecaesar]

True...

I'll get around to it eventually(TM).

 

[Akbarthegreat]

Update, or I'll teleport you to Canada and then you.

 

[MoreEpicThanYou]

I'm too Epic for you to teleport me to the northern wastes.

 

[Jwitti]

So we'll bring you to Toronto instead, it's not that cold but still Canadian

 

[Akbarthegreat]

BTW, I still at that colonization joke.

 

[Jwitti]

BTW, I still at that SEMIcolonization joke.

It has already been established as such

 

[thecaesar]

BTW, I still at that colonization joke.

Where do you think I got a cookie of METY referencing?

 

[MoreEpicThanYou]

METY: Time for an update!
Emperor: Wha... The laws of the universe have been defied!
METY: You haven't noticed already? People are flying in the streets!
Emperor: Really? Let me try! *walks off the Imperial Cliff* AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
METY: Sucker.

That's right, an update of Rome: Eternal Empire is FINALLY HERE!

Here's a look at Mexico, where the powerful Roman Cavalry is scaring away the puny Americen riflemen.

A city named Men? Never heard of that one...

Here's the situation in Iberia.

Rifleman 1: WOAH! What's that?
Rifleman 2: It's a cat-a-pult.
Rifleman 1: You mean it pults cats? AAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
*Cats begin falling from the sky
METY: I told you the laws of the univers have been defied.
Rifleman 1: We REALLY need to take that thing back for scientific analysis.

I've got Lisboa... but Russian Gibraltar? In Soviet Russia, City captures YOU!

*sigh* Can't he look at the scoreboard?

I wonder if it's actually possible for me NOT to win. Time for my Ilostcounth term!

Captain: Observe. That ship is something from ancient times. We must salvage that for scientific analysi-
*Cats start falling from the sky again*
Captain: PULTING CATS! EVERYBODY TAKE COVER!

In Soviet Russia, Constitution trades YOU. No.

Yes... Part 1 of Operation Canada is complete!

Well, the Portuguese collapsed.

Wha... That city will be just a waste of stability. Then again, it means he's cowering in fear of my Epicness...

In Soviet Russia, this joke is getting old. I missed the city again, most likely because of the... PULTING CATS! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

Well, that just about solves the mystery as to why the farm nearby was producing glowing fruit...

OPERATION CANADA IS COMPLETE!
Random citizen: Woah, Canada? That's harsh. I heard that's where bad people go when they die to face eternal torture.

*sigh* I can deal with that.

Presenting the United States of America Canada!

I can't believe I haven't converted him yet. And selling my techs is a good idea...

Infantry and Factories... Time for even more Epicness. The only thing that can stop me is... PULTING CATS! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

Well, well, he really IS cowering in fear. Or...

Spoiler :

He's gay...

WHA... I DESTROYED YOU MILLENNIA AGO!

Time for a three-turn war. This is what happens when you mess with me...

Another Canadian city burned.

Well, there goes Canada! I'll let those city-states fight it out for a while.

 

[MoreEpicThanYou]

In Soviet Russia, culture flips YOU. Must... get... Great Artist...

Well, that's more like it. He should've done that from the beginning...

Thousands of years ago, I destroyed this city with Praetorians against Archers. But now... it's Infantry vs Longbowmen...

My stability hasn't been this good in hundreds years!

First great depression in the game, I think.

Well, that's done. Now for that other city...

WHAT? Oh, no... That only means 1 thing... PULTING CATS! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

That's the last of them! The ruins can go to the... PULTING CATS!

This is the last picture ever of the Roman Empire. Why? Let me tell you this story...

Emperor: Hey, citizens! Who's ready for Bow Down and Worship the Emperor Day! Now, I know that the Pulting Cats are causing trouble, but we are doing absolutely nothing everything we can to stop the problem! Now, BOW DOWN TO ME!
*Crickets begin chirping*
Emperor: Uh...
Mysterious Man: But, they want to listen to me.
Emperor: Who are you?
Mysterious Man: I.. am the Roman Premier.
Emperor: Premier? What are you talking about? We're not commies! Wait... ah... um...
Premier: ATTACK!
Emperor: Why you little...
*Emperor and Premier engage in an intense session of hand-to-hand combat*

2 turns later...
Emperor: Whoa... Can we stop now?
Premier:
Emperor: Wha... NOO! I'm the Emperor of Rome! I've lead the Empire through thick and thin! I-
Premier: Rome does not have an emperor. Look around. The People's Republic of Rome awaits your death.

 

[mbkkbm]

Uh-oh...the People's Republic of Rome.

Dun-dun-dun....

 

[Jwitti]

Uh-oh...the People's Republic of Rome.

Dun-dun-dun....

No, no, it's done like so:

DUN DUN DUNNNNNNNNNNNNNN

 

[SamSniped]

nice (long awaited) update!

 

[hoplitejoe]

I just noticed something, why are there no Vikings in this RFC game?