Barbarous Babylonians
The collapse of the Minoan culture dictated that Agamemnon and the aggressive Mycenaean military now had undisputed control over Greece, and to the ignorant despot, the entire known world. In his elation, the king threw a feasting excursion of unfounded proportions at that time, consisting of the some of the first cuts of meat ever utilized in Greece, which was part of the despot's campaign to research what we now call animal husbandry. Modern historians can predict that the meat was not particularly appetizing, due to the only recent conception of obtaining and preparing meat in a satisfactory method.
Agamemnon's cut of cubed meat. One can only imagine what the cut served to the common inhabitants looked like.
For some time after the conquest of Greece, the Greek League had lived in isolation from the rest of the civilized societies of Earth, blissfully imagining that they had accomplished an impossible feat: ruling the world. However, this feeling of superiority was promptly crushed when an unexpected visitor happened to arrive on the evening of the celebration banquet. This foreigner, according to Greek records, addressed himself as Hammurabi, Supreme Lawmaker, Divine Sentinel of Babylonia, Undisputed Ruler of Earth. Agamemnon was bewildered, and according to legend, cascaded into a rage so mighty, that Greek scribes wrote it down so that we still use it as an expression of indisputable rage in the present day. The event was rather unpleasant for all of the representatives and allies of Greece attending the feast, and can colorfully presented as something like this.
Agamemnon during the feast.
The arrival of King Hammurabi.
Agamemnon upon the arrival of King Hammurabi.
Agamemnon after the feast.
According to the personal records of his advisors, it took a century of tedious negotiation to convince Agamemnon not to utterly decimate the Babylonians.
Apparently it didn't succeed...
Infuriated beyond mortal assistance, and by the "arrogant" insults of the Babylonian Empire which included designating his empire as "small and weak," Agamemnon declared that there would be a conflict that would consist of all of eternity between the Babylonian Empire and their own. However, the Greek king had minuscule knowledge of the process of properly forming a host, so he foolishly designated most of his spear-men (known to the Greeks as hoplites) reserves and all of his chariots to lay siege to the Babylonians immediately, leaving his newly founded empire in jeopardy of the nomadic hordes to the north of Greece.
Over six-thousand spear-men were utilized in Agamemnon's campaign, including himself.
While Agamemnon gathered the forces of his massive war machine, tradesmen and seafarers from the Greek league had began to establish contact with other local civilizations. Because Agamemnon had a sub par espionage detection program, these events were not informed upon by the Mycenaean explorers.
When the head of the Greek host first arrived in the sovereign land of Babylonia, they discovered the coast holdings of it in tatters. A rebellion had occurred in the coastal hamlet of Sur, crippling the Aegean economy of the Babylonian Empire. Noticing this relatively undefended independent city, Agamemnon decided to plunder its riches as he had with the other local settlements.
Agamemnon and his small host of chariots thunder towards the port of Sur.
Although numerous casualties were sustained by the Greek chariots, Agamemnon's empire had plundered its first settlement in their occupation of what we now refer to as Mesopotamia. Luckily for the Greeks, the city was significant enough to sustain itself, thereby allowing the Greek host to spare the city from destruction. Feeling glorified by his victorious onslaught, the king renamed the pitiful settlement as Tyros, which was later Anglicized as Tyre.
The settlement of Tyros, located in present day Jordan.
Gaining a significant reservoir of confidence from his victory at Tyros, Agamemnon and his improperly reinforced host of chariots advanced in the direction the Babylonian heartland, where their seat of government was located. However, the reserves of his army had informed him that more rebellious settlements lay down the coast of what we refer to as Palestine. The regiment informed him that the city had a massive garrison, and that an entire host was required to besiege the battlements of present day Jerusalem. With emotions of greed and lust prominent on his face, Agamemnon was inching closer to the instigation of one of the most significant atrocities in all of Ancient history: the Wars of the Near East.
The Greek League at the commencing of the Wars of the Near East.
Will the Greeks conquer Palestine? Will the Babylonians strike? Will the barbarians strike? Will Agamemnon get cooked meat? Find out next time on Surgo Graecia. (Thanks to strijder for pointing out the naming mistake.)
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