Discussion in 'Imperium OffTopicum' started by Thorvald of Lym, Mar 9, 2017.
For a free action, General Veers will attend Meg’s UN conference.
Wait... that free action?
I will still do the paperwork order for dip bonus potential: anyway Artemis will go on behalf of her mother, the Empress Esther.
1.What? Of course we have stats! Now build me a damned giant robot panther!
2. Meanwhile it's time to unleash the power of our fleet and exemplify our feline ability to mildly annoy! Have the 1st fleet hang out around Yuri's forces and be an annoying distraction!
FROM THE DESK OF THE PRIME MINISTER
1. Dispatch Mabel Pines to the UN conference. Britain shall promise its blood, sweat, tears and other bodily fluids to fighting Yuri.
2. Look, defenders of Port Stanley, I'm gonna be honest. You're pretty screwed. That said, there has to be something we can scratch together down there. Let's see if we can't get Garnet to warp down there to help. That should act as a force equaliser.
3. I am going to kill Sir Humphrey - or I would, if he wasn't controlling the purse strings. Let's charge some of these Civil Service types with corruption - if they're in court defending themselves, they're at least not meddling with my government.
19 (17): You scrub out your heathen sympathies and restore your willpower, gaining a point of mental defence for the coming fight with Yuri. Getting that Action back will take a little more work, though.
18 (16): Calling up the roughnecks that missed the punch-up with the Initiates, the 7th Biker Squad upgrades to Section-strength, while fire-and-forget launchers are distributed for a +2 combat bonus against armour—all for the low, low price of another $19,200!
9 (7): You manage to keep him from leaping out of the chopper to find a working wi-fi signal to load the page.
15: Using cryptic documents recovered in the initial NYC takeover, construction begins for a prototype Karmic Converter in Boston for $700 million, ETA 12 turns.
10 (14): In preparation for the Final Victory, all forces currently in combat move into attack position, gaining +2 combat in their battles this round!
13: It'll be like shooting sitting ducks in a barrel... or something. christos200, Milo Yiannopoulos, Steve Bannon, Rand Paul, Anakin Skywalker, and PewDiePie suffer -1 air defence from their compromised position.
9 (11): Not too keen on being rendered mind-slaves to some creepy GermanRussian megalomaniac, most countries with active UN representation voice receptivity to establishing a global united front to combat the Psi Corps, exact positions to follow in a detailed Diplomacy Post.
The Spirit Bomb is fully-charged!
16: Laying down $2 million, and with healthy contributions from associated investors, you begin renovation of Nassau into the Resort to End All Resorts, ETA 8 turns while Thorvald finds new city graphics. Gain +$100/turn from contract payouts and +$300 wealth taxable from incidental commerce involved in the refurbishment; Nassau gains +1 upper-class happiness, with further bonuses as development progresses.
2 (1): Two words: Supply. Shortage. Pushing your industrial capacity past breaking point, you lose $18 million in a project that will definitely end up over schedule, as the 5th Strike Fighter Squadron begins assembly in Wellington, ETA 30 turns. The shortage also worsens industrial production a further -2, incurs -2 civilian happiness and -10% wealth taxable as ad-hoc rationing becomes necessary.
YOU THOUGHT YOU ONLY HAD ONE ACTION
BUT IT WAS ME, LUCINA'S BLESSING!
11: Veers requisitions a shuttle to the Big Apple, ETA 2 turns.
7 (3): Teasingly drawing just out of attack range, Carron baits the army all the way to the coast before flying out over the ocean—and drawing the fire of the blockade, proceeding to lead their shots back toward the coast. Like I said: dragons are jerks.
ROLL TO DODGE!
9 (17): Bellator effortlessly shrugs off the shellfire, deflecting some back toward the Greek fleet, damaging their 2nd Naval Squadron for 15% damage.
ROLL TO DODGE!
1: Leon barely avoids a head-on strike; he suffers 18 damage, ongoing -3 hitpoints from open wounds, and is knocked unconscious, penalizing all actions -10!!
ROLL TO DODGE!
6: Volley fire decimates the 19th, 20th and 21st Minotaur Battalions for 12% damage each.
11: Carron is indicted for malicious damage, theft, assault, arson, attempted murder, breach of the peace, and inciting an international incident.
20 (20): Deciphering the arcane mysteries of the "passe-porte", the foreign office assembles the necessary documents to permit her travel abroad. -$40; Artemis gains Universal Diplomatic Credentials, providing +5 to all customs checks.
4: You're KET, not ORK, and simply willing it to be does not, in fact, make it so. -$400,000 in state funds, and -2 to research for 3 turns due to a glut of failed prototypes.
12: Invoking a cat's prerogative to change one's mind, you redeploy the fleet to run interference and harassment against hostiles in the South Pacific.
9: By how shall she get there, Dear PM, Dear PM?
4: The warp pad malfunctions and Ruby and Sapphire are split halfway across the world! ...And nobody knows exactly where.
4: And so begins a lengthy and roundabout court battle that ties up government resources and disrupts the bureaucracy as police comb through every record they can find—sure they're not meddling, but now you can barely act. -$3 million state funds, +6% support for Conservatives pushing for "smaller government "; suffer Show Trials: -6% wealth taxable and -2 statecraft for six turns as basic government operation is disrupted.
Minimalist forces continue the counterattack, but the Libertarians are reinforced by Heavy Platoons!
ROLL TO DODGE!
5 (+1 [Know the Mods, Know Thyself] -1 [HYK roll bonus] +1 [flanking bonus] -2 [HYK Heavy Platoon combat bonus] = 4): Fresh troops put the Hayekians back on the initiative, inflicting 12%, 8% and 11% damage to the 1st, 2nd and 3rd Companies, respectively, flanking 1st Company while the Libertarian 2nd Platoon guns for the Prophet himself!
ROLL TO DODGE!
9 (+1 [Ascetic Virtues] +1 [Know the Mods, Know Thyself] +3 [Prophet combat bonus] -2 [HYK attack bonus] = 12): The Prophet deals 6% damage to the 2nd Libertarians.
News on the March
Revengers: Endgoal Now Playing
The Psychic War is heating up as Namibian interceptors have engaged Yuri's shuttle off the African coast in a move that will almost certainly delay his landing, if not scrub it entirely. Meanwhile, Congolese forces valiantly hold the line against the brainwashed Southern insurgents; but with a psychic company already in the field, will they be able to stand their ground until promised foreign volunteers arrive?
The Psi Corps landing on the Falklands is off to a bad start as round-the-clock drilling by the local garrison prepared it for the initial beachhead, although the full assault force continues to deploy and the sole rifle company is badly out-gunned.
Meanwhile in Oz, Government forces are cracking under a fresh offensive that has routed the 6th Biker Squad and decimated the front line. However, naval assets have started pushing back against the submarine menace; can they force a withdrawal in time to address the incoming giant squid KRAKEN in force?
Security Council Convenes Emergency Session
At the urging of Namibia, the UN Security Council has called an emergency session in response to numerous countries' concerns over Psi Corps aggression. As part of the talks, it is hosting an advisory roundtable to seek input from countries outside the Council and non-member states. Several high-profile delegates and military advisors are expected to arrive over the next few turns to aid in developing an international strategy for the crisis.
Psychic Summit established in New York. Countries without UN member status (Cult of Minimalism, World Lakes, Empire of Ài, Shen Yun, Manchuria, Hoxha, Majterre, Faxum, California, KET, Rationalia, Custerfield, the Sámi states, Sgt Pillar, the Congolese splinters, Lega Nord, and the Caribbean Federation) will require dedicated envoys/alternative channels to the roundtable to benefit from any modifiers.
"Washington Has Fallen": Analysts
Observers to the American civil war are now declaring the capital in Namibian hands as the remaining defenders teeter on the verge of collapse, apparently intent on making a suicidal last stand rather than concede defeat. A breakout of the besieged Antonopoulos cabinet appears impossible, as would-be mechanized reinforcements have opted to assist the Charlotte militia in fighting off Redcap raids. Though government forces continue to thwart advance near Toronto, the Canadian Forces still hold several brigades in reserve, and a German expedition is due to arrive that will further tip the eastern front decidedly in the coalition's favour.
The western front, meanwhile, continues its tug-of-war, with loyalist forces withdrawing from Albuquerque and Californian troops preparing to link up with the Denver rebels near Salt Lake City. While indecisive skirmishes continue across the Midwest, a lone motorized squad is making a salient for Kansas City, intent on inciting fresh revolts to help secure the largely-undefended interior.
SHOTS FIRED Over Crete
The Eastern Mediterranean crisis has reached a head as blockade vessels opened fire when the dragon Carron threatened the perimeter, resulting in collateral damage against Majterran ground troops and blowback against Greek ships. While local authorities insist the situation remains under their control, the coalition forces claim the incident is proof that Majterre cannot maintain regional stability, with Egypt asserting Paris has committed "an act of war". Observers expect that unless immediate mediation is achieved, the blockade action will escalate to active intervention. Corsican officials declined to comment, but could be heard laughing exuberantly.
Turkish Breakthrough against Northern Terrorists
Forces from Istanbul have routed "poorly-organized and ill-equipped" insurgent formations in southern Anatolia in the first push into Islamic Jihal'QaISIS-held territory. The victory comes as small relief to the embattled Baghdad garrison, however, as the terrorists continue to bombard the city, thus far holding off the Egyptian relief force. Rational media reports, however, that the Supreme Brain has made a speedy recovery from previous injuries sustained in the attack, Praise Be to Nye.
Caesar on His Throne
Berks to the north of him, gangsters to the south, there he is: stuck in the middle with you. What should have been an easy march to reunite the peninsula has collapsed as obstinate Italian regions threaten to drag the presumptive Emperor Flavius' expansion plan into a diplomatic quagmire. However, former colleagues say though the ascendent mayor may have a deserved reputation for egotism, his political acumen should not be underestimated.
Novus Imperiumvs Romanorumvs is now an NPC.
Blackout Strikes Addis Abeba
Only moments after Faxumite forces secured the city centre, Addis Abeba suffered a total blackout in what is suspected to be outgoing separatist sabotage. Apparently anticipating the loss of the R&D facility, the power outage even disrupted supposedly secure grids, suspending Project DBZ indefinitely until infrastructure can be repaired. This is a crippling setback to the government's war effort, which continues to stall in the northern front at Khartoum.
A Tiger Leading Sheep
Taking a proactive approach to the Psi Corps threat, Empress Ren initiated a research programme to investigate how her powers might be used to protect Qingdao from Yuri's interference. While local media reports the significant investment bore fruit, dissenters have smuggled out preliminary reports that suggest the opposite: that Ren's psychic aura has so pervaded the city that it has severely eroded her subjects' neural resilience. Good news for her in the short term, but a potential Achilles' heel should a more adept telepath interfere.
Jeanne Sets Sail
French and Italian crusaders received a jubilant send-off as they boarded transports at the Palermo harbour. The march across Italy bolstered the self-styled Résistance with Papal blessing, Mafia support, and two brigades of professional volunteers. With the Empress Esther tied down in the Crete fiasco, Europe holds its breath waiting to see when and where Jeanne opts to strike.
Excalibur "May Actually Be Real"
Cornwall is abuzz with archaeological activity as evidence is emerging that suggests the legendary sword of King Arthur may in fact have a historical basis. A government fact-finding mission headed by the Secretary of Defence is investigating "promising leads" related to Tintagel Castle, supposedly Arthur's birthplace. Pearl rigorously denied the mission was promped by a recent American dig, stating "They were searching for Excalibur as a corollary to leads on a secret plot to resurrect Hitler using the Crook of Osiris. We are interested in Excalibur itself."
Pearl gains +2 to her next quest-related action.
Notes from the GM
Not much to say other than I wish my mouse would stop stuttering the click so I don't have to spend five minutes moving a single piece around.
Also, call your (grand)parents, tell them you love them.
Orders due July 7. The Diplomacy Post will follow later today, hopefully after some of you have replied.
1) magic is the solution to all problems: the Empress will use dark magic to teleport Caron the Terrible to the South Pole in hopes the dragon can cause harm against Yuri.
2) Queen Ysbal XI of the Fae Realm of Shee will attempt to pass administration reform the diplomatic department of Majterre to help counter our diplomatic penalty.
3) the Civil Service will use Artemis's customs powers to detain Jeanne as she attempts to move forth, with Javert deployed to bring the crusader to court.
The Saberist High Priesthood takes objection to the wording of the headline - the existence of Excalibur and King Arthur herself is a matter of historical record, as established in the Holy Visual Novel of Visionary Kinoku Nasu Fate/Stay Night. To imply the non-existence of Excalibur directly contradicts Saberist teachings.
To: The Kingdom of Great Britain
From: Australian Capital Territory
We would be highly interested in sending a representative to the search for Excalibur. Excalibur carries deep cultural and religious significance to Canberran Saberists and we would greatly appreciate having a devout Saberist be present for its unearthing.
As we are aligned with Britain through marriage we will like to heed our interest in this case, for the artefact would most likely process significant magical properties.
We support the claim of the British royal dynasty to the sword.
Of course the greater prize would be any relic linked to Merlin or Morgan le Fay; any magical wisdom would be of intrigue to the Empire of Majterre and the Empress would be most eager to study any secrets of the arcane...
1) Thank Saber for Her purifying light and humbly ask Her to remove -2 penalty to all rolls because that's making smiting Her enemies a lot harder than it needs to be.
2) The 7th Biker Squad, supported by the 12th Biker Squad, will join their comrades in the Battle for the Hume Highway by firing a load of rockets at the 10th Light Tank Platoon and (hopefully) utterly obliterating it with the power of rocket launchers.
[third action done on the assumption I get the green light from Britain, if not I'll do something else]
3) Send faithful Saberist Indiana Jones to assist Pearl in finding Excalibur via one of those map montages.
A threat to Europe is a threat to the world. While our armed forces are currently undergoing extensive restructuring, we will happily contribute what we can to a joint effort.
Republic of China:
Having reached an understanding with the Communist remnants that all of China is at stake, we are prepared to mount an expedition against Psychic forces in the South Pacific.
People's Republic of China:
Having reached an understanding with the Nationalist remnants that all of China is at stake, we are prepared to mount an expedition against Psychic forces in the South Pacific.
With regional tensions eased for now, we are prepared to dispatch an expeditionary army against Psychic forces in the South Pacific.
The taint of the Eternal Kingdom is fresh in our nostrils, and we have no desire to play host to a new megalomaniac. Alas, we lack the logistical capability of mounting an effective campaign so far abroad.
While capital forces shall remain in place to stave off the imperialist Tatar menace, we are receptive to dispatching elements of the Far East garrison to take care of the traitor Yuri.
Our current priority is to maintain an effective deterrence against local threats to European stability. While our capacity for force projection abroad is limited, we are willing to provide a contingent to a joint army, provided it does not jeopardize home defence.
Our primary concern is the treacherous northern axis, and we shall not commit to intervention so far abroad without sufficient guarantee of our own border security.
Our military lacks the capability for force projection so far abroad, however we are willing to supplement Greek defensive obligations if it will free up their forces for foreign deployment.
We are prepared to offer a full expeditionary army provided sufficient logistical support, however we cannot commit to any overseas mission in good faith until the situation on Crete is stabilized.
The Egyptian Army can provide several corps to an overseas war effort, but will require appropriate supply chains to offer air support. All naval assets, however, are currently tied up in resisting the warmongering Majterrans.
We are confident that the tragic situation in America has stabilized enough that we can dispatch undeployed elements to an international mission.
Our Defence Forces are likely insufficient for any mission other than peacekeeping operations, however we are prepared to follow Britain's lead provided it does not recklessly jeopardize our military integrity.
The bulk of our military is currently committed to the Levantine crisis, however we may be able to provide infantry reserves to an international mission.
We are willing to provide special forces units to a finalized plan, however we cannot promise more so long as tensions in Scandinavia persist.
Chavezland is ready and willing to defend the Americas from Yuri's imperialist aggression. But do not so blinker yourselves to a single threat, however prominent it appears: the diabolical Manx patsies of Paris will stab your backs at the first opportunity!
1. Our state apparatus is small and needs to be augmented with all that our nation uniquely possesses - shameless mercantile cunning. With the goal of increasing our number of actions per turn, Mr. Stockholme is going to setup a new quasi-state enterprise in Santo Domingo (quasi because it's owned by him and several other leading financial capitalists) that will contract between the Caribbean state and overseas call centres, personal assistant firms, IT firms, and other such time-saving and labour-saving human resources in low income areas around the globe. Every bureaucrat, commander in the military, and political operator in the Caribbean government will have a remote personal assistant to double their efficiency. Every government service will route telecommunication through a call centre somewhere on the other side of the earth. To make the project profitable and self-sustaining, we'll offer premium packages for wealthy elites of the Caribbean, and modest packages for regular businesess and the middle class.
The Republic of Country
Official Name: The Republic of Country
Short Form: Country
Government: A Very Normal Presidential Republic
President: Trent Curtis (Party)
Vice President: Catherine Hurst (Party)
Legislature: Bicameral; split between the Lower House (200 members) and the Upper House (100 members)
Speaker of the House: Gordon Rodriquez (Opposition)
Majority Leader of the Upper House: Wright Rogerson (Party)
Claims: Unclaimed parts of Texas and the American Southwest
Color: A neutral gray
History: The very real and normal country of Country was founded in the year 1857 by brave very much human beings who left their home in search of a better life. The climate of Country is temperate, with the usual seasonal variations found in most other countries, and sports a rich and abundant wildlife with a few endangered species as well. Country's population is split relatively evenly between urban, suburban, and rural areas, and is relatively homogeneous except where it has assimilated and well-integrated minority populations. Countrians are a proud and independent people who obey the law and courteously respect one another and are welcoming of any who wish to join their great country. They are also very much human beings.
The President of the Republic of Country, Trent Curtis of the Party, was elected in a modest victory over his rival Cameron Perez of the Opposition Party, and has since used his mandate to invest in education, cut taxes for the middle class, and provide for Country's veterans. While a few in Opposition party have voiced their opposition to Curtis's platform, the Speaker of the House, Gordon Rodriquez, has worked with the administration to compromise on the very urgent and important issues facing Country.
Joint Statement by Greece and Egypt
The recent attack against the Hellenic navy has demonstrated beyond a reasonable doubt that Majterre cannot perform the most basic function of a sovereign state, namely, to uphold the rule of law. As the Cretan crisis now threatens to spill over into the entire eastern Mediterranean, passive containment is no longer a sufficient course of action. Unless the dragon Caron is pacified immediately, Hellenic and Egyptian vessels will commence live fire with the goal of neutralizing this rogue agent. Consequently, all foreign shipping in the region is advised to alter course as necessary to avoid becoming entangled in the crossfire. Furthermore, Majterran forces are requested to stand down; Athens and Cairo will assume no responsibility for loss of life incurred for failing to heed this warning.
FROM: Tani I, Emperor of All Faxum, King of the Effeduppage
TO: Esther Solomon, Empress of Majterre
SUBJECT: Escalation in Crete
It is with a heavy heart that I must advise you that, while I assure you Faxum and Majterre remain the best of friends, we will be unable to support you should the situation in Crete come to blows. As we remain on our own to settle this civil war, and expecting a distinct lack of cooperation by the backward Egyptians, we can spare neither men nor matériel to mitigate the crisis.
Rest assured, however, we remain with you in spirit.
And do convey my sincerest hope for my future hubby-wubby's speedy recovery!
Note: I have edited my orders to counter my diplomatic penalty.
Joint Letter to Both the Greek & Egyptian Governments
Greetings to both the leaders of the ancient realms of Greece and Egypt
I wish to write on behalf of the Empress (who is currently conducting rites to send the dragon traitor Carron away from Crete via teleportation), King Leon II of Crete (who is currently knocked out conducting combat against the traitor dragon) and the High Voice Chidnor Iomalí (who will be on route to seek audience with your realms) by my authority as a member of the Council of Warlocks and, as brother to King Leon II, a voice of the minotaur Kingdom of Crete. I, Sofós Távros, wish to lay words of consideration in these most dire times and to serves as a agent of peace for my fellow Cretians. You will find both the seals that were provided to me by the Empress of Majterre and the King of Crete, as well as markers of the High Voice and a small Cretian coin with the icon of King Minos as a reminder of the the Hellenic heritage of Crete.
I will be blunt: give us the time needed to remove the traitor. We will send the traitor to redeem himself by facing Yuri's evil stronghold; teleportation is a powerful ability and the Empress is chanelling her powers to ensure to bypass the dragon's natural magical resistance. Should this fail then resistance has to be considered against the dragon but we cannot face the dragon when faced the wroth of others.
In these times of chaos the greatest threat is schism in the face of annihilation. As the evil psi wizard Yuri commands the grand scheme to dominate the world through his mind we contest ourselves instead, wasting our energies and our lives on each other rather than face the great threat to all of the realms. I understand the folly that may cometh from Carron and how this began over misunderstandings. I wish to highlight that whatever happens Crete and Leon II are committed to a great purpose.
As stated the Empress is about to send the dragon away from the isle. If that fails we will have reinforced our positions to continue to defend Crete from the dragon. Understand this: even if the Empress to command a lay down the Cretian Kingdom does not back off from its honour, for minotaur do not take laying down as a option in the face of threats like Carron.
There is another matter to note: as you are aware there is notions of a... crusade against Majterre. As both Egypt and Greece have history of enduring the wroth of crusaders in the past it might be a suggestion you take great empathy to our position. Should the worst cometh and the evil crusader launchers her crusade we request that you do not take ill heed to us for we of Majterre are to endure the curse bought against us by what we believe to be the tidings of a Australian practitioner of chaos magic. We will of course defend ourselves from the Crusade; the Empress will be able to focus her energies to combat the crusading villain. We ask you take patient to us on the light if the crusader decides to go for Crete, for she is likely to seek out combat with the Empress. Our civil service and Princess Artemis are trying to make a plan to counter the crusading zealot but be prepared in case.
Whatever happens I urge you to not take your guns on Crete and Majterre; the dragon is our common threat, as is the Heretics' Crusade and Psi Corp. Greece and Egypt have been in communion with the minotaur since the ages of mythology. If not for peace with Majterre then please consider peace with Crete and its sovereign who would desire you not seek harm against Crete or the Majterren Empress we swore a oath of loyalty to.
Thank you for your time
Sofós Távros, Prince of Crete and practitioner among the Council of Warlocks.
To His Imperial Majesty Emperor Tani of All Faxum
We understand your situation and only wish we would be able to help resolve it in this time. Perhaps once we have dealt with the dragon situation and the crusading problems we will be able to support you.
Hope you are well
High Voice Chidnor Iomalí on behalf of Her Imperial Majesty Empress Esther Solomon
SUBJECT: RE: Joint Letter to Both the Greek & Egyptian Governments
Empress Esther seems to forget that this entire debacle unfolded at her instigation. Majterre has illegally occupied Greek territory, and when challenged on this fact, summoned a dragon in a bid to threaten its neighbours into acquiescence, only to immediately lose control of it and endanger the entire region. Paris has had ample time to solve the crisis on its terms: diplomacy has failed, and despite doubling down on threat of force, armed intervention has likewise failed and is now directly threatening the lives of Greek citizens. At no time did your government petition its neighbours for assistance that might have prevented the crisis from spinning out of your control. We will not stand idly by while Majterran incompetence continues to jeopardize our own security.
The Hellenic Armed Forces are prepared to coordinate operations with Cretan authorities if and only if Iráklion annuls all binding ties with Paris and affirms its loyalty to Athens. Otherwise, local forces will be considered beholden to a foreign and potentially hostile government.
SUBJECT: RE: Joint Letter to Both the Greek & Egyptian Governments
Majterre abetted the colonialist greed of the Faxumite usurpers on what we can only surmise was an imperial reflex, and when Masr upheld its political sovereignty, tried to bully us into submission with naked force. Unable to control its own diabolical agents, it doubled down on its blasphemous practices by summoning literal hellspawn. Nothing in Paris's recent actions convinces us Majterre does not hold malicious intent; therefore, we will not back off from containing the clear and present danger your devilish empress has incited over Crete. Majterre started this crisis; now reap what you sow.
Greetings to both the leaders of the ancient realms of Greece and Egypt
I wish to reply in note to the highlighted notion; Crete is of Crete, not Greece, for it is of way by memorial of King Minos. Whether it is Greek or Majterren is a matter of the crown of Crete and even then: would it not be Crete of its own accord rather than part of Greece? We are part of the Majterren Empire as a unity of many kingdoms under the Magus Throne. It is not Greek citizens that are of Crete but rather Cretian citizens and as of that Majterren citizens.
I will be frank to the Greeks: we minotaurs bow out of respect to the warlocks and their grand magical might which is beyond the powers you can imagine; if we ever exited the Majterran Empire it would not be to surrender ourselves to Greece and especially not to have non-magic human boss minotaur. If you have a problem with our position I suggest you surrender your clown to Constantinople or Istanbul or whatever that city is called again... you what I refer to in your histories?
Still: we divert ourselves!
If you were threatened would you too not seek deterrence? You threaten us and the Empress replied in... alas the loyalty of the dragon was not to... desires so to speak but still... we warlocks know the path between light and darkness and how good and evil links to both paths, not just ones like in binary tales. If neccessary we would be open to provide education, perhaps a warlock school in Argos and a magi academy in Alexandria. Co-operation gives more fruits than confrontation, no?
Once we remove the dragon from the waters of Crete we will request you likewise go back home or go help save the world by stopping Psi Corp before they make all this talk most useless by having Yuri do all the talking for us. For the sake of peace between Majterre, Egypt and Greece, of Crete and its ancient neighbours, we humbly request you heed the ways to good relations. We have desires to use our powers against Psi Corp (once we have dealt with the bloody menace that maniac from Australia sent against us) and would prefer not to exercise our abilities against those we would prefer to be friends with. Magic is of awe; never underestimate it but instead embrace the wonder and seek our the adventure that springs forth!
If you concur with peace I would look forward to competing with you in Olympian sports rather than the battlefield. My brother, King Leon, is a fan of wrestling and would love to wrestle with your best.
Anyhow: heed well!
Glory in Magic!
Sofós Távros, Prince of Crete and practitioner among the Council of Warlocks.
FROM: Presidente Hugo Chávez
TO: That bull-headed son of a cow
SUBJECT: RE: Concerning Histories
This is the biggest load of bullion I've seen since tuning into Faux News. Then again, I am hardly surprised a nation founded by warping reality would have such an infantile grasp of its own history! Perhaps we will deign to provide the Majterran slave-dogs (who may be literal dogs if the ménagerie of a demographic is an indication) some education in Marxism, so they may decide for themselves who truly deserves to rule the island. (Hint: not the obsolete bourgeoisie currently running it into the ground.)
Perhaps I am being too harsh. After all, Crete is currently overrun by a literal bull-headed caste, so maybe it's best to humour their delusions that they have existed since the dawn of time—never mind the French nuclear fleet proves Majterre is a transdimensional interloper, pretending Crete didn't join the Greek state of its own accord in 1913. It would certainly explain their propensity to see red at every turn, managing to insult in the same breath the very state reps they're trying to woo! At least they're honest that what they truly value is not law or justice, but brute force; too bad they insist on hitching their rickety wagon to a self-destructive "empress" that can't even cast a simple rain spell without starving most of Europe. When the Germans are parading through Paris, you'll wish Athens would take you back!
I've already spent far too much effort deriding this failed state than it deserves, so I'll wrap up: Never trust a Manx man. If you're so desperate to wrestle in the mud, do the world a favour and keep your magical realm to yourself and those Faxumite dog—ers you call friends.
Off-Topic: Marxist minotaur commune is a ideal to work for if one is aiming for...
In a plane, dear GM, dear GM, dear GM!
Action I: Use A Plane
Put Mabel on a plane, go to UN conference.
Action II: Lets Be Calm and Cool It OFF
Send envoys to Majterre, Egypt and Greece to see if they're willing to calm down on the whole Crete thing. Let's see if we can't keep it nice and calm. Let's Theodore Roosevelt this. We don't need new wars with Yuri knocking on our door.
Action III: Oh Wow I Didn't Actually Expect To Find That
Nyoom to Tintagel. Let's find this sword.
From: Great Britain
An envoy would be most welcome!
Action 1: Construct additional factories to boost the industrial capacity.
Action 2: The Revengeance Commence bombardment on the Mutator.
Separate names with a comma.