Roll To Dodge 3

Keep on reserving.
 
I drain lifeforce from others around me to heal myself. Even from inanimate objects like trees and wooden box.

2: The lifeforce of everything around you tells you to go screw yourself.

I attack Seon before he can try to suck the lifeforce of everything around him.

2: You somehow hit yourself with the sword. (-6 HP)

Keep on reserving.

6: Look at you, you have a 6 in reserve, lucky bastard! This makes the bats very jealous. They want your 6 and 8 badly!

ROLL TO DODGE!
6: Wow, what a lucky son of a female dog you are. They all suddenly decided to turn around.

I'll be smart and reserve this roll.

1: YOU GET NOTHING! Also, your head re-freezes.

The D1C3 G0D yells at kill fire to stop playing Assassin's Creed II all day and send in orders!
 
I use my six to eat my ice cream and find it has healing powers.
 
I laserbeam kill fire before he wins.
 
Since imitation is the best form of adulation, I try to absorb the lifeforce of all lifeforms around me.

2: Tired of being asked to give people lifeforce, the lifeforce of everything gives you the finger and steals your one remaining HP. DEAD.

I call the power of the Jedi Master Yoda to help me get unfrozen from time.

3: Come to the phone right now, Yoda can not. A message, after the beep leave. Get back to you, he will.

I use my six to eat my ice cream and find it has healing powers.

6: Congrataulations! You discover that eating ice cream heals you... by 2 HP. (+2 HP)

I laserbeam kill fire before he wins.

3: YOURA FIRIN UR LAZOR! It misses, unfortunately, and explodes some bats. The rest get pissed and attack you:

ROLL TO DODGE!
6: Another lazer makes all the attacking bats die.

I try to convince the D1C3 G0D to kill Bratmon because he has become too powerful.

1: The D1C3 G0D decides to smite you instead. (-7 HP) DEAD.
 
I laserbeam Bratmon before he kills us all
 
Use my 8 and the power of the inf sword to kill all remaining challengers.
 
Since kill fire won't stop bugging me about it, here's an update:

THIS BACK-STABERY WILL NOT GO UNAVENGED!

I use my ghostly powers to set us up the bomb and destroy EVERYTHING!

5: You set up a bomb, set to explode in 3 turns.

I laserbeam Bratmon before he kills us all

3: You laserbeam... and miss again, somehow hitting one of the ghosts.

Use my 8 and the power of the inf sword to kill all remaining challengers.

8: You activate the power of 8! The infinity sword starts glowing with its amazing power. But the power of the 8 is too much! The sword explodes in your hand, killing you. (-9999 HP) DEAD.

It does, however, send out an explosive wave towards everyone else:

ROLL TO DODGE bestrfcplayer:
5: You somehow only lose 1 HP. Who knows how?

ROLL TO DODGE Seon:
5: You also only lose 1 HP, by being at the edge of the explosion.

I use my ghostly powers to possess Bratmon just after he has killed everyone else.

6: You Possess the ghost of Bratmon.

I use my ghost powers to possess Milarqui before he accomplishes that.

6: You Possess the ghost of Milarqui possessing Bratmon.
 
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