Roll to Dodge: Ludicrous Edition

[Terrance888]

I am an Avatar of WAR!

 

[Double A]

A wavatar?

 

[mythmonster2]

Slap myself to get ahold of myself.

 

[Red_Spy]

I try to look for a gun.

 

[Abaddon]

Fix the ships engines

 

[civplayah]

Ugh... round three still isn't over???

I come back to life.

 

[!!!!!]

i find a manufacturer.

 

[Thorvald of Lym]

I convert !!!!! to pacifism.

He already is.

I am an Avatar of WAR!

2: So insulted is War by your presumptuousness, that War warps the tenets of pacifism such that everyone can attack you without penalty.

Slap myself to get ahold of myself.

4 (1): You only make it worse, to the tune of a further -2 penalty.

I try to look for a gun.

18: You succeed in looking for a gun...
(rolls)
6: ...but fail to find one.

Fix the ships engines

8: You have neither the tools nor technological expertise.

I come back to life.

18: You decide to troll the ignorant mortals, and reincarnate on board the ship with twice the usual health.

i find a manufacturer.

14: You phone up a print house in Germany that would love to take on your product. Can you come to the office at 5 P.M. to go over the details?

The ship computer warns that a major hull breach is imminent in the engine room. Suggest sealing off compromised module to prevent catastrophic loss of pressure.

 

[Terrance888]

I learn something important and profound.

 

[Double A]

I'm bored, so I'm going to attack Terrance with bat missiles.

 

[Red_Spy]

I read The Art of War

 

[Abaddon]

The Medical Room is next to the Engine Bay.

 

[Seon]

I fix the engine room, using my laser chaingun as a blowtorch.

 

[mythmonster2]

Use my medicinal knowledge to find out if existential crises can be cured with doctoral knowledge.

 

[!!!!!]

beam me down scotty

 

[civplayah]

I end the game.

 

[Thorvald of Lym]

I learn something important and profound.

10: You learn something trivial and mundane.

I'm bored, so I'm going to attack Terrance with bat missiles.

10 (13): You rock the ship, delivering 15 damage.

I read The Art of War

20: You gain expertise in the execution, anticipation, and prevention of war.

The Medical Room is next to the Engine Bay.

4: The medical bay is amidships; the engines are aft.

I fix the engine room, using my laser chaingun as a blowtorch.

20 (19): Your makeshift repairs hold. The engines are still a bust, but at least the ship won't tear itself apart.

Use my medicinal knowledge to find out if existential crises can be cured with doctoral knowledge.

20 (20): What are this?! Your medical skills are so profound, they extend into the metaphysical! The revelation that you can now treat philosophical afflictions promptly shatters your self-despair.

beam me down scotty

14: You manage a long-range beam and materialize outside the building.

I end the game.

3: It's no good; we still need to determine the runners up.

Good fortune is in the air! For the next three turns, Red_Spy, Seon and mythmonster2 will gain a +3 bonus to all rolls.

 

[mythmonster2]

Once again with feeling: search for my meaning in life/wincondition.

 

[Terrance888]

I read Machiavelli's "The Prince"

 

[Double A]

I charm mm into making me his god.