Roll to Dodge: Ludicrous Edition

[Double A]

One of my missiles punches someone.

 

[Abaddon]

I steal CivGeneral's Katana

 

[Thorvald of Lym]

I find a lifeboat.

4 (7): It's not that kind of ship.

I convince the crew to muntiny as I take over the spaceship.

9: You're arrested for troublemaking and thrown in the brig.

Cure Seon of this "demon" disease.

1 (13): You immunize his consciousness against eldritch abomination.

Shoot mythmonster with the laser chaingun until he turns to ash.

10 (12): Your grip's a little loose and it sprays about wildly, but you still shave off 8 hitpoints.

One of my missiles punches someone.

18 (20): The missile strikes the crippling blow to the engines, blowing the module apart. The shock deals 17 damage to everyone on board.

I steal CivGeneral's Katana

20: You effortlessly snatch it from the AFK player.

 

[Double A]

HAL is the AI of the ship that everyone else seems to be on.

 

[Red_Spy]

I steal a knife.

 

[Seon]

I shoot wildly at everyone and everything with all the weapon I have in my disposal.

 

[mythmonster2]

Escape from the medical bay.

 

[Abaddon]

I mêlée attack everyone close to me with the Katana, stabbing and slashing away at vital organs

 

[Thorvald of Lym]

HAL is the AI of the ship that everyone else seems to be on.

1 (4): I'm afraid I can't let you do that, AA. Your electronics suddenly shut off.

I steal a knife.

2: You're caught pilfering the diningware and are thrown into the brig.

I shoot wildly at everyone and everything with all the weapon I have in my disposal.

17 (16): You let loose a hellstorm, dealing 75 damage to both Abaddon and CivGeneral.

Escape from the medical bay.

13 (14): In the midst of Seon's fury, you sneak away.

I mêlée attack everyone close to me with the Katana, stabbing and slashing away at vital organs

12 (19): You inflict 17 damage to CivGeneral, 16 damage to Seon, 27 damage to Darth Caesar, 24 damage to civplayah, and everyone wounded suffers ongoing 16 damage per turn.

 

[Red_Spy]

I escape from the brig.

 

[Terrance888]

I convince the prisoners in the Brig to mutiny!

 

[Double A]

HAL starts singing about flowers and shuts down.

 

[Seon]

I pursue mythmonster and cook him with the laser chaingun.

 

[Seon]

Actually nevermind. I unleash hell on Abaddon.

 

[mythmonster2]

Wow did I sure dodge a couple (thousand) bullets there! Call for my bodyguard ann see what it's up to.

 

[Abaddon]

I mêlée attack Seon with the Katana, removing his head from his body.

 

[GenMarshall]

My next roll will be above 11.

 

[Thorvald of Lym]

I escape from the brig.

12: Silly guards forgot to lock the door.

I convince the prisoners in the Brig to mutiny!

8: Red_Spy's already escaped, and that crazy bomb guy is asleep.

HAL starts singing about flowers and shuts down.

2 (5): I'm afraid I can't let you do that, AA. The rocket re-routes to return to the spaceship.

I unleash hell on Abaddon.

1 (1): The battery pack short-circuits and explodes.
ROLL TO DODGE!
12 (11): Incredibly, you emerge unharmed.
ROLL TO DODGE!
7 (10): Abaddon suffers 19 damage and ongoing -4 hitpoints from corrosion.
ROLL TO DODGE!
16: Darth Caesar remains out of the way.
ROLL TO DODGE!
5: civplayah suffers 19 damage and ongoing -8 hitpoints from corrosion.
ROLL TO DODGE!
4: CivGeneral suffers 17 damage and ongoing -10 hitpoints from corrosion.

Wow did I sure dodge a couple (thousand) bullets there! Call for my bodyguard ann see what it's up to.

7: "MiNeCrAfT 3!!!"

I mêlée attack Seon with the Katana, removing his head from his body.

4 (11): You scratch his shoulder for 2 damage.

My next roll will be above 11.

10: Your next roll will be between 1 and 20.

 

[Red_Spy]

I escape the ship.

 

[Terrance888]

I curse my bad luck!