Roll to Dodge: Ludicrous Edition

[bestrfcplayer]

I teleport to the Omega's location and make fun of them for they are Polish.

 

[Seon]

In.

I call my brownie fairies

 

[Thorvald of Lym]

I pick up my money.

14: You reclaim your cash, and find some more. (Cash + $3.50)

Screw it, I'll just slice Omega with the sword then.

20: You wind back, charge at Omega, and deliver a staggering blow to his left shoulder for 12 damage. Actions that require a left-handed action suffer -1 to rolls. You've also cut him deep; Omega suffers ongoing -2 hp until he receives medical treatment.

I dig throught the soft soil, depositing it on the concrete above, until it is deep enough to house kill fire's remains.

15: You dig down six feet, forming a neat and tidy rectangular hole.

I blast choxon with a non-backfiring, loaded, legal, epic Rocket Launcher got from mid air.

4: You stagger backwards and prime the rocket, but a sudden twitch from your wounded left shoulder sends the shot off-target. You hear an explosion in the distance, and can make out a brief flash from a distant office building.

This has made you rather conspicuous.

I teleport to the Omega's location and make fun of them for they are Polish.

20: You spontaneously and inexplicably appear between choxorn and Omega and laugh at their petty feud. This disenheartens them considerably. (Victims suffer -3 to rolls for all actions)

I call my brownie fairies

1: You find a working payphone but somehow manage to dial the fudge pixies' headquarters. They are none too pleased to be contacted by a brownie sympathizer, and immediately dispatch a squad to take you down; ETA 5 turns.

While standing around pondering what to do next, kill fire notices a man with a long white beard and pointy maroon hat walking down the sidewalk.

 

[civplayah]

I want more cash.

Never mind, look two posts below.

 

[Seon]

I am not going down that easily! I try to find a gun.

 

[civplayah]

No, change that. I actually become an entrepreneur by buying items which I will then sell for 50% profit!

 

[choxorn]

I attempt to un-disenhearten myself by singing a jolly tune designed to simulatenously annoy Omega and bestrfcplayer.

 

[rhawn]

I give kill fire the Vulgar Nerve Pinch. This is like a Vulcan Nerve Pinch and will cause the victim to lose consciousness for some time, except I must utter a witty one-liner from either Tango & Cash or Hudson Hawk whilst performing the maneuver.

 

[Omega124]

I intimidate myself to stop bleeding, getting my left arm to work again at normal fuction, and stop being a sissy for being afraid of the Poles.

 

[kill fire]

I say "hello" to the man.

 

[bestrfcplayer]

I punch Omega and choxon with one of my hands for each of them.

 

[Thorvald of Lym]

Sorry for the delay. I was bed-ridden last evening.

I am not going down that easily! I try to find a gun.

11: You find a Tokarev perched inconspicuously on a dark window ledge. It has 8 rounds.

I actually become an entrepreneur by buying items which I will then sell for 50% profit!

12: You hawk some trinkets to passers-by, producing a net income of + $4.12.

I attempt to un-disenhearten myself by singing a jolly tune designed to simulatenously annoy Omega and bestrfcplayer.

12: You regain your morale. Omega is unfazed, but bestrfcplayer becomes frustrated, suffering -1 to rolls for actions requiring concentration.

I give kill fire the Vulgar Nerve Pinch. This is like a Vulcan Nerve Pinch and will cause the victim to lose consciousness for some time, except I must utter a witty one-liner from either Tango & Cash or Hudson Hawk whilst performing the maneuver.

17: You run up, grab kill fire's shoulder and squeeze. As he begins to black out, you say, "Just think of me as somebody who doesn't like you very much." (kill fire is unconscious for 5 turns)

I intimidate myself to stop bleeding, getting my left arm to work again at normal fuction, and stop being a sissy for being afraid of the Poles.

12 (13): Through sheer force of will, you manage to 'persuade' your broken blood vessels to heal themselves. You are also slightly less disheartened.

I say "hello" to the man.

3: Unfortunately, you are knocked unconscious before you can hail him. He looks to be wanting to cross the street.

I punch Omega and choxon with one of my hands for each of them.

8: Omega and choxorn easily dodge your strike.

 

[Seon]

I steal kill fire's stuff

 

[rhawn]

I throw kill fire in the grave.

 

[kill fire]

I explode destroying everything, or at the very least rhawn and Seon.

 

[Omega124]

I run to the nearest clinic or hospitial and get some health back.

 

[civplayah]

I roll in more dough.

 

[tuxedohamm]

As I believe you are still accepting more players due to the 7/15,...

I call up a horde of warrior angels to help me.

 

[choxorn]

I cut off bestrfcplayer's hands to prevent him from punching me.

 

[Thorvald of Lym]

I steal kill fire's stuff

1: Much to your discontent, you find kill fire has nothing of interest. As you head back to where you started, you suddenly realize you left your pistol with him.

I throw kill fire in the grave.

16: Without ability to protest, kill fire is easily thrown in.
rhawn's recurring successes have led him to feel pretty lucky! (Next roll of 1 is automatically re-rolled)

I explode destroying everything, or at the very least rhawn and Seon.

7: You discharge a flammable gas. However, by now you are too far away to affect anyone.

I run to the nearest clinic or hospitial and get some health back.

8: You run to a hospital down the block, but you're out of breath before you enter.

I roll in more dough.

3: You accidentally accost a baker's display cart. You are forced to pay $6 in damages.

I call up a horde of warrior angels to help me.

15: You sense the angels materializing around you, ETA 2 turns.

I cut off bestrfcplayer's hands to prevent him from punching me.

20: In one smooth motion, you lop off both bestrfcplayer's hands for immediate 12 damage. He suffers ongoing -8 hp until he is stabilized.

While running around screaming, bestrfcplayer can make out the faint sound of police sirens.