Roll to Dodge: Ludicrous Edition

I get into the truck that contains the nuke.
 
I go to stop a burglary. If there isn't one in the nearby area, I cause one.
 
I hit kill fire with my shovel until he lays very still.
 
Well, I'm kinda knocked out here, so really that would mean you wouldn't hit me at all.

I believe you had your knock-out reduced to one turn and are now grasping at my legs in an effort to give me an "unbreakable bear hug". I'll just try to turn your everything above your ears into a red and gray paste.
 
Seon said:
I use my magicky angel powers to clad myself in angelic gear
19: You materialize blessed armour and a fiery sword, like the other warrior angels, giving you a +2 to all defences.

choxorn said:
I get into the truck that contains the nuke.
13: You hack off the padlock and enter inside.

civplayah said:
I continue to help rhawn bury kill fire.
20: With one broad stroke, you bury both rhawn and kill fire in the grave.

kill fire said:
I wrap my arms around rhawn in an unbreakable bear hug.
12: The impact of the dirt leads your muscles to spontaneously spasm, gripping rhawn in a tight embrace that also immobilizes him.

After the fact, kill fire regains consciousness, and is no longer embarrassed.

mythmonster2 said:
I go to stop a burglary. If there isn't one in the nearby area, I cause one.
9: You drive a little further down the street, get out, and attempt to burgle a hot dog stand. Only later do you realize you forgot to take anything.

Omega124 said:
I leave, saying thanks, and procede to practice my rocket launcher skills on mythmonster2's car.
19: It's totalled. Good thing he wasn't inside at the time.

bestrfcplayer said:
I protect my nuke from choxorn.
5: You can't hold him back, since you have no hands to hold him.

rhawn said:
I hit kill fire with my shovel until he lays very still.
12: You can't actually hit him, but given the fact that you're both buried in dirt you're both very still already.

The fudge pixies arrive and immediately set their sights on Seon.

The lead police car pulls over to the side to assess the bomb threat. The remaining two cars continue up the street and park outside the hospital.

tuxedohamm's angels, detecting kill fire as the first injured party and who at the moment is in need of assistance, begin to excavate him and rhawn.
 
Fwoosh! I smite the fudge fairies with divine wrath.
 
I de-fuse the nuke.
 
This is exactly what I was hoping would happen. I didn't actually expect civplayah to bury us on this turn, but I was hoping he might soon. So I decided to grab rhawn in hopes that he would be forced to be buried with me. Now he's stuck down here with me and if he tries to use magic to teleport out, he'll have to drag me with him.
 
I order my angels to take control of the truck and rush it and the nuke and anyone inside the truck at the time to an unimaginable distance away from here.
 
I summon some ghouls to help me devour kill fire.
 
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