Roll to Dodge: Ludicrous Edition
- Thread starter Thorvald of Lym
- Start date
JohannaK
Heroically Clueless
I improvise a gig on the ship to encourage the crew in their repair tasks.
Omega124
Challenging Fate
I order the Bluecapes to liberate the Rust Belt.
GenMarshall
High Elven ISB Capt & Ghost Agent
Intensifying the strength in choking Ted.
Thorvald of Lym
A Little Sketchy
7 (17): You make sure the weasel can't weasel out of this time! Any attempt to escape is penalized 4 points. That doesn't stop him fighting, though.CivCube said:
ROLL TO DODGE!
8 (18):Telling him he could seriously hurt himself, you liberate the QBZ rifle from his shoulder. One of his Zealotry points transfers to you!
7 (11): Whistling while they work helps restore ship routines 5%.JohannaK said:
2 (5): Scumbag Scott (R-WI) has the same idea—only by 'liberate' he means 'smash the unions and cannibalize the middle class'.Omega124 said:
ROLL TO DODGE!
2 (9): The Bluecapes are driven back to defensive lines in New York.
10 (5): Staggering backwards, he slams you against the wall, winding you enough that he can try to escape.CivGeneral said:
ROLL TO DODGE!
18 (18): You manage to hold him in place, strangling out another 15 hitpoints with a hard jerk. Frank takes his turn.
ROLL TO DODGE!
9 (7): Ted kicks him in the shins for 9 damage.
SOL 740 makes another pass at the 4th Division.
ROLL TO DODGE!
1 (1): This is becoming embarrassing. The commandos abuse its pathfinding to clear a corridor toward Beijing, sapping Chinese defences by 2 and earning the Eternal Kingdom a +4 attack bonus this turn!
Needless to say, it exploits it.
ROLL TO DODGE!
13 (13): Monarchist forces begin encirclement of Beijing, preparing for a siege. Cruz's forces continue to push into Cuba.
ROLL TO DODGE!
5 (3): Galvanized by the desecration of Havana, the Cubans hit back hard, bolstering the island's Defence by 3. George's forces renew the invasion of Mozambique.
ROLL TO DODGE!
9 (9): lol u fail bro. Will the Somali cell have better luck?
ROLL TO DODGE!
1 (1): lolnope. Having exhausted its extensive foreign credit, the expedition is halted in its tracks until it can find a way to rob Peter to pay Paul. Its attack is suspended for the next 6 turns.
Omega124
Challenging Fate
I personally head to America to lead the next charge
JohannaK
Heroically Clueless
I personally join the repair tasks and look fabulous while at it.
GenMarshall
High Elven ISB Capt & Ghost Agent
Frank takes careful aim and shoots Ted's legs
Thorvald of Lym
A Little Sketchy
2 (9): The GM, not entirely sure what you're trying to keep on, fails to notice George slip in a USB drive with a computer virus to hijack the download.CivCube said:
ROLL TO DODGE!
3 (5): Reversing the
9 (8): All commercial flights to America are suspended, what with the country having degenerated into a battleground.Omega124 said:
6 (7): You touch a live wire and get shocked for 10 damage.JohannaK said:
7 (10): He has no gun with which to conduct such an attack. Grabbing the chain, Cruz tries to throw you overtop and thus break the stranglehold.CivGeneral said:
ROLL TO DODGE!
2 (1): Flinging you head over heels, he escapes the bind. You land flat on your back for 10 damage, and suffer a -4 penalty to the next three rolls on account of being winded.
SOL 740 zeroes in on the 17th.
ROLL TO DODGE!
14 (8): It scatters before the beam can do any damage.
The main Monarchist force launches a new assault on Pakistan.
ROLL TO DODGE!
15 (13): Sindh Province falls in the salient, granting headquarters access to the Indian Ocean. Eager to link up, George's forces launch an invasion of the Seychelles.
ROLL TO DODGE!
6 (4): Turns out it's just a bit too long a voyage; the assault fleet runs out of provisions, buying the island republic time to fortify 2 points. Cruz's crusaders try to complete the takeover of the west coast.
ROLL TO DODGE!
19 (17): The blitz seizes Oregon and Washington state, along with TWO ICBMs that will be prepped in four turns! Cut off from the mainland, Hawai'i loses 2 Defence while Nevada and Utah are brought down 1 each.
Omega124
Challenging Fate
Fine, I take a boat, jeez
JohannaK
Heroically Clueless
Jeez, I put on safety gear.
GenMarshall
High Elven ISB Capt & Ghost Agent
Frank frees me from my handcuffs by using his skeleton key.
Thorvald of Lym
A Little Sketchy
4 (3): You shell out $350 for a ticket on the first ship out. As the liner approaches the Red Sea, it's attacked by EKNCOmega124 said:
ROLL TO DODGE!
13 (12): You're not identified to the Ghost Writer. Yet.
18 (20): Delivering a pointed 25 damage and a severe concussion, you slow the download to 5 hitpoints/turn while crippling all his actions by 3 points.CivCube said:
12 (13): You don an insulated suit that grants a +1 defence against fire and electric shock.JohannaK said:
15 (12): He undoes the bindings right before Cruz tries to slice you both.CivGeneral said:
ROLL TO DODGE!
2 (3): Frank takes a nasty gouge in the back worth 16 damage.
ROLL TO DODGE!
11 (5): You get nicked for 12 damage, reopening some of the wounds for -2 hp/turn.
SOL 740 targets the 80th.
ROLL TO DODGE!
20 (13): The beam picks of stragglers for 16 damage.
The Eternal Kingdom assaults India... from the east!
ROLL TO DODGE!
16 (12): Monarchist forces begin encirclement of the upstart Bhutan. The American cell forgoes its attack to engage the Space Oddity!
ROLL TO DODGE!
15 (10): All missiles fly off-target. George's stooges rally to take Comoros.
ROLL TO DODGE!
8 (8): With its naval assets still resupplying, the offensive is aborted.
Omega124
Challenging Fate
I act so kinky towards my captors they just release me due to feeling steamy and awkward.
JohannaK
Heroically Clueless
I join the reparation teams again.
GenMarshall
High Elven ISB Capt & Ghost Agent
I patch myself up and close the wound.
Thorvald of Lym
A Little Sketchy
1 (8): You miss!CivCube said:
ROLL TO DODGE!
4 (11): But you also parry George's counterstrike, so it's all cool.
2 (3): Don't you know the first rule of anarcho-capitalism? "If regulation does not exist, then everything is permitted." Hoping to score madOmega124 said:
You are facing the Ghost Writer, Patron Saint of Anarcho-Capitalism!
ROLL FOR INITIATIVE!
5 (4): His aggressive IPO momentarily stuns you, earning him first strike and raising your Lust by 8!
ROLL TO DODGE!
5 (2): Propositioning an aggressive merger, the Ghost Writer inflicts 18 damage and 3 Lust while draining $17.22.
ROLL TO AGGRESS!
15 (10): Cackling like an attention-deficit warmonger (i.e., himself), he dodges out of the way.
4 (5): Despite having no money, you try to pay back the fine, resulting in you taking out a shady $100 loan at 5% interest.JohannaK said:
11 (7): "The ear bone's connected to the... nose bone?" you slur, worsening the bleeding by -1 hitpoint/turn.CivGeneral said:
Frank tries to draw Cruz off you.
ROLL TO DODGE!
19 (17): Tackling the senator, Frank beats him up for 14 damage, further reducing his combat prowess by 1 and stunning him for the turn.
SOL 740 targets the 4th again.
ROLL TO DODGE!
5 (1): It carves a clear path through the Soviet front lines, reducing the Union's Defence 3 points.
The Mad King aims to inhale Mongolia FORREST OF TIME
ROLL TO DODGE!
6 (7): Soviet reinforcements stonewall the assault, raising Mongolian Defence back to normal. Meanwhile, the American cell continues the annexation of Mexico.
ROLL TO DODGE!
17 (15): The Mexicans are driven back on all fronts. George's men try for Mozambique once more.
ROLL TO DODGE!
17 (19): A combined-arms assault seizes Maputo and opens a new front toward the north, crippling the country's Defence by 2 points!
