MTB4884
Emperor
Another great update, tR1cKy! The "Jingle Bells" bit was particularly funny! Congratulations on getting a domination victory in 480 AD in the most recent GotM and getting the gold for GotM #119! 
Save the Mongols
- Thread starter tR1cKy
- Start date
tR1cKy
taking over the world
This is a chapter about heroes.
Those who have been following this story for a while will probably remember the saga of the Nerd naval units. One of them, the Rotten Tub, managed to survive multiple times against perilous waters, got contact with all the states oversea and then gathered useful intelligence on its long way home.
Other boats, paltry in their appearance, sporting names that looked like one-way tickets for the afterlife, managed to bring down, piece after piece, the whole of the Zulu navy, as if they were unbeatable masters of the seas.
In the struggle against the Celts, the Nerd navy played only a minor role. Yet this war has its own heroes and, once again, nobody would have bet a cent on them.
As the Nerd army approaches the last Celtic bastion, Verulamium, veteran pikemen come to the fore. The city is build on a hill, so it's likely to offer a fierce resistance. And so it is.
Catapults shell the city with no effect. Knight division lead the charge, but they're badly beaten: one elite unit is completely destroyed, the other 3 retreat redlined, with enemy defenders suffering only some damage. Then, maces move into the field. One manage to take down an enemy unit, but the other is killed. At this point, two defenders are still sitting in the city, wounded but not beaten.
When the going gets tough, the toughs get going. It is time for Lazyass and Turd to engrave their names in the history of the Nerd civilization.
Lazyass charges first and kills one of the wounded pikemen. Turd attacks the last Celtic defender and...
no words are necessary
3 down, 9 to go
The leader is moved to Entremont, where, next turn, it will be used to rush Heroic Epic. A tribute to a worthy opponent, and also the only wonder we can build (everything else is taken).
Nothing else important happens, and in the interturn the Forbidden Palace is completed in Genius City, our former capital. We enter the year 360 AD with a war just won and the two cores finally fully operational. Both income and research receive a substantial boost. More than ever, the future looks bright for the Nerd people.
Next target: the Ottomans, and that ugly ball of lard that passes for their leader.
Until then, thanks for following
~~~~~ to be continued ~~~~~
Those who have been following this story for a while will probably remember the saga of the Nerd naval units. One of them, the Rotten Tub, managed to survive multiple times against perilous waters, got contact with all the states oversea and then gathered useful intelligence on its long way home.
Other boats, paltry in their appearance, sporting names that looked like one-way tickets for the afterlife, managed to bring down, piece after piece, the whole of the Zulu navy, as if they were unbeatable masters of the seas.
In the struggle against the Celts, the Nerd navy played only a minor role. Yet this war has its own heroes and, once again, nobody would have bet a cent on them.
As the Nerd army approaches the last Celtic bastion, Verulamium, veteran pikemen come to the fore. The city is build on a hill, so it's likely to offer a fierce resistance. And so it is.
Catapults shell the city with no effect. Knight division lead the charge, but they're badly beaten: one elite unit is completely destroyed, the other 3 retreat redlined, with enemy defenders suffering only some damage. Then, maces move into the field. One manage to take down an enemy unit, but the other is killed. At this point, two defenders are still sitting in the city, wounded but not beaten.
When the going gets tough, the toughs get going. It is time for Lazyass and Turd to engrave their names in the history of the Nerd civilization.
Lazyass charges first and kills one of the wounded pikemen. Turd attacks the last Celtic defender and...
no words are necessary
3 down, 9 to go
The leader is moved to Entremont, where, next turn, it will be used to rush Heroic Epic. A tribute to a worthy opponent, and also the only wonder we can build (everything else is taken).
Nothing else important happens, and in the interturn the Forbidden Palace is completed in Genius City, our former capital. We enter the year 360 AD with a war just won and the two cores finally fully operational. Both income and research receive a substantial boost. More than ever, the future looks bright for the Nerd people.
Next target: the Ottomans, and that ugly ball of lard that passes for their leader.
Until then, thanks for following
~~~~~ to be continued ~~~~~
Attachments
TheOverseer714
Overseer
Nice work, though watching your expensive units croak while cheap units win can be frustrating. Looks like you are doing well vs enemy UU's. You shouldn't have to worry about Sipahis, though, you'll destroy the Ottoman before they get any...
tR1cKy
taking over the world
Thank you! Probably, i don't have to worry about musketmen either, because the border cities show only pikemen as best defenders. Since they do know Gunpowder (while i don't) chances are that there shouldn't be any source of saltpeter in Ottoman lands.
Now, sorry for everyone for the delay, RL has kicked in hard. The good news (well, sort of) is that the next GotM has suffered from a similar delay, so i've been able to put up a few comics in between.
----
The thread of the Celts is no more, but there are other threats to be aware of. A "hole" in our land is at risk to be exploited by the Persians to snatch in a colony, that would be causing serious cultural pressure problems. Fortunately, there are small stacks of fast troops positioned strategically, and one of them is enough to negated the vulnerable tile to wannabe settlers:
As the turn ends, we complete our quest for Education. That tech would pave the way to Astronomy that, finally, will let us open trade routes with the AS on the far landmass.
Alas, the Spaniards have completed it in the same turn as ours, so its immediate usefulness is rather limited, but we manage to carve out a fruitful trade anyway:
Still in the interturn, the leader generated from the unexpected victory of Turd the Legionary against the last Celtic defender has produced its results. The Heroic Epic has been built in Entremont, and in a few turns that city will be free from Ottoman cultural pressure without the need of another costly rushbuild:
More good news on the front: the temple in Alesia has finally produced its intended cultural expansion. Alesia is now free from the risk of cultural flip, and being a core city with an aqueduct already there (courtesy of its former rulers), it can be quickly stuffed with captured slaves and be turned almost immediately into a premium productive city:
Another hurdle has been passed, but more are still to be overcomed. The next target is obviously the Ottoman Empire, and we're already amassing troops to conquer the whole of it as quickly as possible. A possible complication is the distant settlement of Murcia, captured from Spain eons ago and still in Ottoman hands, surrounded by Persian territory. I can't reach it by land or sea without trespassing into Persia (something that i'd like to avoid), so i'll have to choose if to ally with Spain or Persia.
With the first option i'd have to rely on Spain to get rid of it (at the risk that they will fail). On the other hand, an alliance+RoP with Persia would give me an easy time against that lone colony, but would put some Nerd cities at risk of a surprise attacks by the same Persians that would be supposed to be allies. I've seen the AS doing such dastardly acts in the past and it's something to worry about.
Probably i will post another update before dwelling into GotM 121. In the meantime, have fun reading
~~~~~ to be continued ~~~~~
Attachments
templar_x
usually walks his talks
one learns that communication with foreign peoples can be very difficult.
great fun, as always. keep it up!
t_x
great fun, as always. keep it up!
t_x
Memento
The World is mine
Funny Story.
tR1cKy
taking over the world
Thank you very much to you posters and to all those who simply lurk. After a long hiatus, i finally found some time to play a few turns, and produce a few comics. Actually, the time share is kind of 5% playing and 95% producing comics, so forgive me if i'm being slow on this.
-------
After assimilating the Celts, the glorious Nerds are going to take on the Ottomans, but preparations are to be made first. Our army needs to be reinforced and units have to be moved in proper place.
Verulamium is where the bulk of slow units are being amassed. They will ensure safety from cultural pressure first, and then sent en masse to take over Edirne later:
In Lugdunum (barely visible behind the list) knights are being gathered. They too will protect the city from Ottoman cultural pressure and then, when it's time, they will strike at both Izmit and Uskudar:
Meanwhile, Carthage has discovered Astronomy, and a new trade route across the sea is opened. They're clearly ahead in techs, and giving them 3 luxuries won't certainly help us catching up, but the Nerd women are quite fond of gems, and in the long run Carthage will be toast anyway:
Moreover, Gunpowder is acquired from the Egyptians, who surprisingly did not research Education. This lack on their part allows us to obtain an important tech at quite a reasonable price:
A few turns later, we complete Astronomy as well, further enhancing our ability to trade around the world. Finally, routes are open with every civilization still alive:
Little could be obtained by trading it, because a large number of civs already knows it. But we got the first native Spaniard, who will take house on our new capital:
In 500 AD, preparations for war are finally over, and the attack against the Ottoman mainlands may begin:
Defenders in Izmit and Uskudar are overrun with relative ease, in spite of the presence of a pair of musketmen. The stack of slow units is moved outside Edirne, where the resistance is likely to be more fierce: the city is size 9 and built on hill, and at least one musketman is defending it. But our attacking army is big:
A question has been left pending: how to deal with the Ottoman enclave of Murcia, in the middle of Persian territory? Will I ally with Persia (and give further boost to an already runaway civ) or with Spain (with the risk that they won't made it across Persian lands)? Well, my answer is: none of them. I've choosen the risky path of leaving the Ottomans alive in Murcia for the moment, and extort a useful tech (Chemistry) from peace dealings. It is clear at this point that the game will go well into the Industrial Ages, and i need a reasonably fast path to Military Tradition.
Of course i will have to live with the constant threat of cultural defections while, in the meantime, campaigning against Persia. But hey, you can't have it both ways.
I hope these new comics are worth the long wait for them. A further update is possible in a pair of weeks. In the meantime, enjoy this update!
~~~~~ to be continued ~~~~~
-------
After assimilating the Celts, the glorious Nerds are going to take on the Ottomans, but preparations are to be made first. Our army needs to be reinforced and units have to be moved in proper place.
Verulamium is where the bulk of slow units are being amassed. They will ensure safety from cultural pressure first, and then sent en masse to take over Edirne later:
In Lugdunum (barely visible behind the list) knights are being gathered. They too will protect the city from Ottoman cultural pressure and then, when it's time, they will strike at both Izmit and Uskudar:
Meanwhile, Carthage has discovered Astronomy, and a new trade route across the sea is opened. They're clearly ahead in techs, and giving them 3 luxuries won't certainly help us catching up, but the Nerd women are quite fond of gems, and in the long run Carthage will be toast anyway:
Moreover, Gunpowder is acquired from the Egyptians, who surprisingly did not research Education. This lack on their part allows us to obtain an important tech at quite a reasonable price:
A few turns later, we complete Astronomy as well, further enhancing our ability to trade around the world. Finally, routes are open with every civilization still alive:
Little could be obtained by trading it, because a large number of civs already knows it. But we got the first native Spaniard, who will take house on our new capital:
In 500 AD, preparations for war are finally over, and the attack against the Ottoman mainlands may begin:
Defenders in Izmit and Uskudar are overrun with relative ease, in spite of the presence of a pair of musketmen. The stack of slow units is moved outside Edirne, where the resistance is likely to be more fierce: the city is size 9 and built on hill, and at least one musketman is defending it. But our attacking army is big:
A question has been left pending: how to deal with the Ottoman enclave of Murcia, in the middle of Persian territory? Will I ally with Persia (and give further boost to an already runaway civ) or with Spain (with the risk that they won't made it across Persian lands)? Well, my answer is: none of them. I've choosen the risky path of leaving the Ottomans alive in Murcia for the moment, and extort a useful tech (Chemistry) from peace dealings. It is clear at this point that the game will go well into the Industrial Ages, and i need a reasonably fast path to Military Tradition.
Of course i will have to live with the constant threat of cultural defections while, in the meantime, campaigning against Persia. But hey, you can't have it both ways.
I hope these new comics are worth the long wait for them. A further update is possible in a pair of weeks. In the meantime, enjoy this update!
~~~~~ to be continued ~~~~~
Attachments
CELTICEMPIRE
Zulu Conqueror
The wait is definitely worth it.
tR1cKy
taking over the world
Thank you for the enthusiastic support! I found some time to play a little more and the ideas for a pair more comics. On the bad side, as you will see, this game is at risk of taking a turn for the worse.
While our forces are busy ravaging the Ottoman mainland, the inclusion of ethnic minorities into the great Nerd nation goes on. Turn after turn, slaves are being emancipated and substituted with paid workers.
Taking aside the breeder city, for the first time in history we have a native city in which the Nerd ethnicity is a minority. A vast Zulu community has been forming into Dumb City, to the point that it outpaced in numbers the Nerds. Moreover, two Celtic ex-slaves have made the long trip from their former homeland and found home there:
Other Zulu minorities are also present in Genius City, Smart City and Lazy City. There is also a small Arabian community in Shaka Sucks (the Zulu did not want to settle there at all
) and an even smaller one of Celtic folks in Wise City.
The Mongols also keep thriving, as the Breeder City is about to reach its maximum capacity:
This is the population count of the Nerd Empire just before the outbreak of the Ottoman war. Out of a grand total of 185 population units, we have this figure:
Nerds|96
Zulu|30
Celts|26
Arabs|22
Mongols|10
Spanish|1
The Nerds are still the absolute majority, but for a small margin.
Research is posing a dilemma. As we plan to extort Chemistry from the Ottomans and both Banking and Navigation are already known by several AS, what to research right now? The solution may be Music Theory, that is being neglected by the AS so far. If we obtain it as a monopoly, what is normally a pretty much useless tech may turn into a worthwile bargaining chip to buy us way into tech parity and, maybe, the Industrial Ages:
In the interturn, our trade with the Persians expires and we need again to tackle their horrible attitude toward us (the constant mockery of the foreign advisor may have played a part in worsening Jerksees' already foul mood actually). We strenghten the trade and also give them a separate small gpt donation in an effort to keep them apace for a little while more:
On the war front, Edirne is captured, although with heavy losses, and, after a reassessment turn, the bulk of our mounted forces position themselves for the capture of Istanbul:
But then, when it's time for the AS to move, things take suddenly a dramatic turn:
Man how i hate the Persians. I have them to the core, unless i happen to be Persia. In this case, i love them. In any other case i hate them almost as i hate the Babylonians. Unless i happen to be Babylon
Anyway, let's assess the situation, which clearly is not rosy. Our efforts to keep the Persians at bay ended up in failure, as their trespassing in forces can only mean that they've decided to deliver a surprise attack on us. Well, it's exactly the wrong moment, as the most of our forces are concentrated on the Ottoman front and what's left on the Persian front seems inadequate to stop them.
First, their target. The musketman in Medina has been completed in this very same interturn, so when the AS made its move Medina was still defenseless. This, and the fact that they did not touch our stacks of workers means that what they want is, 99.9%, catch us pant down at Medina. On a side note, the knight defending the fort and its pal defending the hill, who has been both there from ages, may in fact have saved us to see Noob City captured on the spot.
Moving our forces away from the Ottomans front would mean abandoning the whole Ottoman campaign and possibly our whole captures, given the high risk of cultural flip as long as their capital do not move in Murcia. Moreover, those forces would come too late anyway. Therefore, we'll keep the Ottoman offensive going on in full and try to contain Persia with a hasty military buildup on our very productive core.
Even so, Medina is probably lost and even the settlement of Najran, to the south, is likely to suffer the same fate, as soon as a Persian stack decide to move there.
Moreover, so far Persia has lacked saltpeter, but it has just entered into the Industrials, and god knows what free tech they've picked. If it's Nationalism, then we'll start seeing riflemen escorting their stacks, worsening further an already precarious situation.
Now, in all this mess there are two beacons of light. The first is that Persia is now a Democracy and this means heavy war weariness. If we manage to inflict them enough casualties, they're likely to be hit hard by WW and, counting in the two luxuries we're selling them and that they're about to forfeit, they're be probably crippled to the point that they won't be able to produce enough reinforcements.
The second one is the position of Damascus, our capital, right next to the Persian front. If either Medina or Najran are on the verge of being captured we will donate them to Spain. This way, not only we'll avoid a surge of war weariness, due to the capture, but we'll also have any unit or worker stationed inside being teleported into Damascus and, thus, immediately ready for operations. Workers won't be lost and units may regroup for a better defense / counterattack.
Anyway, we need not the RNG gods to turn against us now. A SOUR in this scenario may lead us into disaster.
That's all for now. In the next update you'll see if and how the Nerds will come out from this terrible threat. Thanks for following!
~~~~~ to be continued ~~~~~
While our forces are busy ravaging the Ottoman mainland, the inclusion of ethnic minorities into the great Nerd nation goes on. Turn after turn, slaves are being emancipated and substituted with paid workers.
Taking aside the breeder city, for the first time in history we have a native city in which the Nerd ethnicity is a minority. A vast Zulu community has been forming into Dumb City, to the point that it outpaced in numbers the Nerds. Moreover, two Celtic ex-slaves have made the long trip from their former homeland and found home there:
Other Zulu minorities are also present in Genius City, Smart City and Lazy City. There is also a small Arabian community in Shaka Sucks (the Zulu did not want to settle there at all
) and an even smaller one of Celtic folks in Wise City.The Mongols also keep thriving, as the Breeder City is about to reach its maximum capacity:
This is the population count of the Nerd Empire just before the outbreak of the Ottoman war. Out of a grand total of 185 population units, we have this figure:
Zulu|30
Celts|26
Arabs|22
Mongols|10
Spanish|1
The Nerds are still the absolute majority, but for a small margin.
Research is posing a dilemma. As we plan to extort Chemistry from the Ottomans and both Banking and Navigation are already known by several AS, what to research right now? The solution may be Music Theory, that is being neglected by the AS so far. If we obtain it as a monopoly, what is normally a pretty much useless tech may turn into a worthwile bargaining chip to buy us way into tech parity and, maybe, the Industrial Ages:
In the interturn, our trade with the Persians expires and we need again to tackle their horrible attitude toward us (the constant mockery of the foreign advisor may have played a part in worsening Jerksees' already foul mood actually). We strenghten the trade and also give them a separate small gpt donation in an effort to keep them apace for a little while more:
On the war front, Edirne is captured, although with heavy losses, and, after a reassessment turn, the bulk of our mounted forces position themselves for the capture of Istanbul:
But then, when it's time for the AS to move, things take suddenly a dramatic turn:
Man how i hate the Persians. I have them to the core, unless i happen to be Persia. In this case, i love them. In any other case i hate them almost as i hate the Babylonians. Unless i happen to be Babylon
Anyway, let's assess the situation, which clearly is not rosy. Our efforts to keep the Persians at bay ended up in failure, as their trespassing in forces can only mean that they've decided to deliver a surprise attack on us. Well, it's exactly the wrong moment, as the most of our forces are concentrated on the Ottoman front and what's left on the Persian front seems inadequate to stop them.
First, their target. The musketman in Medina has been completed in this very same interturn, so when the AS made its move Medina was still defenseless. This, and the fact that they did not touch our stacks of workers means that what they want is, 99.9%, catch us pant down at Medina. On a side note, the knight defending the fort and its pal defending the hill, who has been both there from ages, may in fact have saved us to see Noob City captured on the spot.
Moving our forces away from the Ottomans front would mean abandoning the whole Ottoman campaign and possibly our whole captures, given the high risk of cultural flip as long as their capital do not move in Murcia. Moreover, those forces would come too late anyway. Therefore, we'll keep the Ottoman offensive going on in full and try to contain Persia with a hasty military buildup on our very productive core.
Even so, Medina is probably lost and even the settlement of Najran, to the south, is likely to suffer the same fate, as soon as a Persian stack decide to move there.
Moreover, so far Persia has lacked saltpeter, but it has just entered into the Industrials, and god knows what free tech they've picked. If it's Nationalism, then we'll start seeing riflemen escorting their stacks, worsening further an already precarious situation.
Now, in all this mess there are two beacons of light. The first is that Persia is now a Democracy and this means heavy war weariness. If we manage to inflict them enough casualties, they're likely to be hit hard by WW and, counting in the two luxuries we're selling them and that they're about to forfeit, they're be probably crippled to the point that they won't be able to produce enough reinforcements.
The second one is the position of Damascus, our capital, right next to the Persian front. If either Medina or Najran are on the verge of being captured we will donate them to Spain. This way, not only we'll avoid a surge of war weariness, due to the capture, but we'll also have any unit or worker stationed inside being teleported into Damascus and, thus, immediately ready for operations. Workers won't be lost and units may regroup for a better defense / counterattack.
Anyway, we need not the RNG gods to turn against us now. A SOUR in this scenario may lead us into disaster.
That's all for now. In the next update you'll see if and how the Nerds will come out from this terrible threat. Thanks for following!
~~~~~ to be continued ~~~~~
Attachments
Wow, things just got really interesting now. I've been waiting for the Persians to finally stab you in the back. (I know they ALWAYS stab ME in the back in my games...)
And I lol'd SO hard at "Jerksees"... from now on, that will be my name for him as well.
And I lol'd SO hard at "Jerksees"... from now on, that will be my name for him as well.
MTB4884
Emperor
I'm really looking forward to seeing the outcome of the Nerd-Persian war. Your proposed tactic of donating doomed cities to Spain is brilliant! (Hopefully "Jerksees" won't simply declare war on Spain as well to take the cities for their saltpeter supplies.) Good luck and go Nerds!
Toxicman007
Custom User Title
A quick and easy way to avoid war is to sign a Right of Passage with him. The AI hardly ever breaks those until the late-game.
tR1cKy
taking over the world
@ultimaIX: feel free to use the name of Jerksees every time you need. The persians are a bunch of backstabbing bastards and deserve every bit of mockery. Unless we happen to be Persia.
@MTB4884: it doesn't really matter if they declare on Spain and take over the city from them. What i want to avoid by donating the city is the tremendous boost in war weariness due to the capture. Moreover, a bunch of civs already know Navigation so resource denial isn't a strategy worth pursuing anymore.
As we'll see, Persia did get saltpeter at some point, because musketmen are going to appear. But even this fact is about to lose importance because... well, wait and see.
@Toxicman007: man how i wish it was that easy
It may be the case in Conquests, but in PTW all my memories lead to the same fact: if they're on the verge of attacking you and you offer them RoP, they'll exploit the RoP to attack you better.
@CKS: i didn't touch that part, so i suppose this rule still holds. But it isn't something i'm going to use anyway. Firstly, it's sort of cheating the program, and secondly, you lose all the cultural buildings and must roll against losing also the non-cultural ones.
Now, the game is heating up, i've played the following turns with careful attention, and also got some inspiration.
----
It's 530 AD and, apparently, the Persians are going to backstab us at the former Arabian cities. By signing them against the Ottomans, i hope to divert enough of their forces to be able to hold off. Moreover, if we take over the Ottoman mainland and sign peace with Osman before Persia captures the enclave of Murcia, we'll save us from the dangers of having the captured cities flipping back to them:
Jerksees dutifully declares war against the Lard of the Ottomans (oops, lord):
On the Ottoman front, the offensive goes on at full bore. Istanbul was heavily defended (5 muskets and a few lesser units) but our forces are strong enough to take it over. Our casualties were surprisingly low (only 2 units lost) although quite a few knights did retreat redlined. There are still some unused knights at full health, possibly enough to go on with the offensive without pauses:
The turn ends and, as expected, Persia delivers the backstab. Fortunately what they moved in was, for the most part, composed of slow units. Only 3 knights are available for an immediate attack. The first one moves to Najran, overlooks the worker stack and kills the knight defending there, effectively initiating the war. The other 2 knights charge at Medina where they are welcomed by volleys of musket fire. One is dead, the other retreats redlined.
In the successive turn, we'll be able to chase off this first wave of attackers, but much more are about to come.
NOTE: alas, the lines under Najran, Medina and Noob City are, for the most part, worker stacks taking refuge into those cities and not military units.
Still in the same interturn, Persia begins the construction of another wonder. As the advisor says, good news for us, because it's one city less building military.
To the left, a bunch of Ottoman skirmishers are threatening to wreak havoc in the outskirts of Alesia, but there are knights ready to take care of them:
Let's go back to the Ottoman front, where our forces are rushing to complete the takeover of their whole mainland. Free units deliver a direct attack on Antalya, with great success. It is possible at this point to exploit the surrounding area around Antalya to place a second direct attack to Aydin, and we manage to take over the city with the very last attacker. Result: two cities captured in a row. It's a great deal of work for the Military Advisor, to the point that his replacement must be called back into service to support him:
That's all for now, but a further update will come in the following days. Will we manage to take over the whole Ottoman territory before Murcia falls to the Persians? And, most importantly, will the valiant Nerd forces be able to withstand the impact of the Persian invasion and keep hold of our threatened cities? Only time will tell. Until then, enjoy this update
~~~~~ to be continued ~~~~~
@MTB4884: it doesn't really matter if they declare on Spain and take over the city from them. What i want to avoid by donating the city is the tremendous boost in war weariness due to the capture. Moreover, a bunch of civs already know Navigation so resource denial isn't a strategy worth pursuing anymore.
As we'll see, Persia did get saltpeter at some point, because musketmen are going to appear. But even this fact is about to lose importance because... well, wait and see.
@Toxicman007: man how i wish it was that easy
It may be the case in Conquests, but in PTW all my memories lead to the same fact: if they're on the verge of attacking you and you offer them RoP, they'll exploit the RoP to attack you better.@CKS: i didn't touch that part, so i suppose this rule still holds. But it isn't something i'm going to use anyway. Firstly, it's sort of cheating the program, and secondly, you lose all the cultural buildings and must roll against losing also the non-cultural ones.
Now, the game is heating up, i've played the following turns with careful attention, and also got some inspiration.
----
It's 530 AD and, apparently, the Persians are going to backstab us at the former Arabian cities. By signing them against the Ottomans, i hope to divert enough of their forces to be able to hold off. Moreover, if we take over the Ottoman mainland and sign peace with Osman before Persia captures the enclave of Murcia, we'll save us from the dangers of having the captured cities flipping back to them:
Jerksees dutifully declares war against the Lard of the Ottomans (oops, lord
):On the Ottoman front, the offensive goes on at full bore. Istanbul was heavily defended (5 muskets and a few lesser units) but our forces are strong enough to take it over. Our casualties were surprisingly low (only 2 units lost) although quite a few knights did retreat redlined. There are still some unused knights at full health, possibly enough to go on with the offensive without pauses:
The turn ends and, as expected, Persia delivers the backstab. Fortunately what they moved in was, for the most part, composed of slow units. Only 3 knights are available for an immediate attack. The first one moves to Najran, overlooks the worker stack and kills the knight defending there, effectively initiating the war. The other 2 knights charge at Medina where they are welcomed by volleys of musket fire. One is dead, the other retreats redlined.
In the successive turn, we'll be able to chase off this first wave of attackers, but much more are about to come.
NOTE: alas, the lines under Najran, Medina and Noob City are, for the most part, worker stacks taking refuge into those cities and not military units.
Still in the same interturn, Persia begins the construction of another wonder. As the advisor says, good news for us, because it's one city less building military.
To the left, a bunch of Ottoman skirmishers are threatening to wreak havoc in the outskirts of Alesia, but there are knights ready to take care of them:
Let's go back to the Ottoman front, where our forces are rushing to complete the takeover of their whole mainland. Free units deliver a direct attack on Antalya, with great success. It is possible at this point to exploit the surrounding area around Antalya to place a second direct attack to Aydin, and we manage to take over the city with the very last attacker. Result: two cities captured in a row. It's a great deal of work for the Military Advisor, to the point that his replacement must be called back into service to support him:
That's all for now, but a further update will come in the following days. Will we manage to take over the whole Ottoman territory before Murcia falls to the Persians? And, most importantly, will the valiant Nerd forces be able to withstand the impact of the Persian invasion and keep hold of our threatened cities? Only time will tell. Until then, enjoy this update
~~~~~ to be continued ~~~~~
Attachments
MTB4884
Emperor
Great update, tR1cKy! (and thanks for clarifiying your emergency city donation strategy) I particularly liked the "Fitness Advisor" and her comments. Go Nerds!
tR1cKy
taking over the world
You're welcome
I can give you an anticipation: you will see her again, not in this update but almost certainly in the next one.Now, on with the second part. To those who are interested in how the Persian war develops, i suggest to pay more attention than usual to the narration. Comics are unadequate to fully explain what's going on, expecially if they are more demented than narrative
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On the Persian front, curious things are happening.
In the previous interturn, apart from the knight attacks, a few immortals have moved along the hills bordering Arbela and attacked our knights guarding the fort and the hill. These knights barely survived, but what matters is that i could see the attackers moving, thanks to the vantage point of the knight on the hill. And i could see a bigger number of troops moving on the same route.
This is a hint that their main target is Noob City, lightly defended, with loads of workers as refugees and spice fields all around. Spices were one of the luxuries that i was selling to Persia before their sneak-attack.
The hill inside the Persian borders, Wx2 of the city, would the best spot for launching an attack, if it wasn't for the fort in between. I built that fort eons ago, exactly for that reason, and i use my turn to reinforce it with musketmen.
When it's Persia's turn to move, they do exactly what i imagined: no unit move to threaten Najran or Medina, but loads of them are caught moving along the mountain trail. A few immortals attack at the fort, but they are gunned down one by one by precise musket fire. Once again, the invaders have been repelled with minimal casualties.
Next turn, stacks of slow units are about to strike at the remaining Ottomans cities. Finally, the Nerd navy had a chance to take part in the action, as the Rotten Tub and the Floating Coffin were essential in transporting units from both former Arabia and southern Ottoman's, in order to deliver a coordinated blow:
Both attacks are successful and, once again, the Military Advisor needs the help of his aide
Still, it's not time to sign peace with the Ottomans yet, because they have two galleys on the prowl around our coasts in former Zululand and it's important that we get rid of the possibility that they have boat people before we end the war.
On the Persian front, an even bigger wave of immortals clash with our musketmen guarding the fort, and this time even with the help of gunfire, our defenses are on the verge of being overwhelmed. Some scary new actors make their debut on the battlefield: riflemen. Two of them tried to deliver the fatal blow to our wounded muskets and failed by pure chance, while others are coming:
It seems a hopeless situation, but it's not as bad as it seems. By bearing the whole blunt of the attack, those valiant musketmen gave our knights enough time to heal, and as this picture was taken during the interturn, when it's our time to move some of those redlined knights are back at full health. Actually, this is the first time in which the Nerd army could deliver a counterattack on Persian soil. Healthy units striked at the hill and destroyed that whole immortal stack, with only one knight lost and 2 redlined.
And yet, we cannot make peace with the Ottomans, because those damn galleys are still around. Moreover, the whole peace affair has become like shooting in the dark. On the one hand, if we wait too much Persia could destroy the Ottomans before we sign peace and extort a useful tech from them. On the other hand, Persia doesn't seem too eager to spend forces for capturing Murcia, and if we sign a premature peace chances are that some of their cities will defect back and the whole Ottoman affair will drag along for 20 more turns (until peace expire), possibly with more defections.
On the bright side, our forces in Ottoman lands have finally repositioned themselves. Now every city is covered from a defect by recapture squads, while some of the units may be redeployed where they're needed the most: the Persian front.
Another turn passes, with little to report. No defections of Ottoman cities yet. Troops keep moving to the Persian front. Persia attacks again at the fort and the hill, but this time the magnitude of their attack is weaker than in the previous turns.
It's 570 AD when we finally have a chance to get rid of those pesky galleys. Several units are about to rush caravel, but firstly we try with what we have at hand. Our captains aren't scared of a dangerous naval battle, although their true motivations may be somewhat... questionable.
But questionable or not, they're enough to reassert the myth of the Invincible Nerd Armada: they both win almost flawlessly, and earn promotion too:
And now, what to do? Sign peace? Mantain the state of war a little bit longer? It's a gamble... but it's also matter for the next update
~~~~~ to be continued ~~~~~
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Toxicman007
Custom User Title
Jerksees is like somebody's mom trying to play the game.
See what I did there?
See what I did there?
tR1cKy
taking over the world
I see that you know the lyrics and can appreciate their meaning as well.
However, Jerksees is a mixed bag. Usually the AS controlling Persia performs quite well in both culture and research, yet it seems incredibly inept at waging war.
In a recent GotM, at Deity level, i landed a beachhead to the far continent and the Mongols sent at me 2 big SODs, about 40 units each. I had to abandon one city (to not suffer a huge WW penalty) and regroup my forces to a second beachhead city that, even with substantial naval help, i could barely defend.
Well, if Persia had been done the same against Medina my defenses would have been overwhelmed, but they chosed to send a handful of immortals per turn against a fort defended by muskets instead. End result: minimal casualties for me, about 40 Persian units either gunned down by musket fire or cut to slices by knights.
By now, the Persians have lost the majority of their attack forces while my forces are basically intact and even stronger than at the beginning, thanks to a massive military buildup that has taken place in both the cores. Combine this with the stream of units coming from the former Ottoman front, and my military superiority is undeniable, to the point that i could set up a vicious counterattack.
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It's 580 AD. After a few turns of war, the Persian offensive has evindently lost steam. They spent the majority of their immortals in fruitless attacks, and also lost quite a few of skirmishers to our mounted forces. All this, while a troop buildup is taking place in our capital.
At the beginning of the war the purported goal was just to hold off and keep the losses to a minimum, and then sign peace as soon as Jerksees would bother to talk to us again, but now, with 20 knights parked in Damascus, 16 of which at full hp and the rest being healed next turn, a successful strike at Arbela seems quite possible.
But riflemen fire is likely to take down a fairly large number of attackers. Therefore, how to bolster courage in our troops? How to prevent them from chickening out at the crucial moment? Here comes what is known as the Supreme Motivator:
And the end result can be only one:
Arbela's defenses were smaller than expected: 3 veteran rifles, 1 regular rifle and 1 cavalry. Even so, 7 knights didn't make it, but it was a worthy sacrifice. Not only Persia has one city less producing attackers, but that pesky band of skirmishers has nowhere to retreat.
On a side note, if Jerksees had kept those pukes sitting in the city, our attack may have probably failed.
As an added bonus, we got a leader. It's a Nerd leader and, as such, it does have its quirks. But hey, who doesn't?
Building an army seems pointless by now. Maces are already obsolete and the mass upgrade of knights into cavalry units isn't too far away. Therefore, we'll keep the leader spare to rush Magellan, and take advantage of a permanent bonus movement of naval units.
With cavalries present, it is clear that the last Ottoman city, surrounded by Persia, cannot last much longer. We risk signing peace with Osman, extorting both Banking and Chemistry. Please note that the alliance would do no good for him. He's already at war with Persia and we certainly won't move an inch to help him.
The end of the turn is a thriller: the message of the demise of the Ottomans doesn't show up, but none of their former cities defect either. The only thing to be noted is some rather unimportant news from the cultural advisor:
What follows is a rather dull turn. The band of Persian skirmishers has moved south, to a grassland tile, and gets shelled by catapults first and gutted by knights second. One knight is lost and 3 are badly damaged, not a big deal actually.
As the turn ends, the much awaited message finally comes:
With the former Ottoman core now safe from defects, we can move even more troops back to the Persian front. At the same time, Music Theory is finally researched:
And we trade it immediately, without waiting for the end of the interturn. By adding some wonga to the table, we convince Carthage to share the secrets of Metallurgy:
Which are promptly sold to Egypt in return for Economics. This part is not shown because it would be just a repetition of the previous comic, with Cleopatra being addressed with some squeaks.
Finally, we get Navigation from Spain, also for Metallurgy:
At the beginning of 600 AD, there are many options at our avail. A wonder is to be built and trades are to be renewed. We can also get another luxury, the 7th one, while the last one is currently unaccessible because the exclusive owner, Hammurabi, has been lured by Persia into a trade embargo against us. In due time, he will pay a hefty price for this unbearable outrage, but in the meanwhile he could be convinced to break the embargo and enter an alliance versus Persia.
And Persia is precisely the other big question. How to proceed with Persia. Arbela is bound to defect at some point... unless we turn their inhabitants into slavery, secure its sourroundings and take over Pasagardae as well. Actually, the complete takeover of continental Persia may be the best strategy to follow at this point. War weariness must already be hitting them badly and as, we continue inflicting them losses, the problem may only worsen and Persia could become so crippled that it wouldn't be able to pose a significant resistance anymore.
Moreover, once we relegate them to the small island north of the far continent, their cities would be much less at risk of defecting, to the point that being able to keep all of them until peace expire could be a worth bet.
Anyway, these questions will be addressed in the next update, but don't hold your breath for it. GotM 122 is out and as i'm about to compete in it, this story will be put on hiatus for a while.
See you next time, readers!
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tR1cKy
taking over the world
After a long silence, i found the time to play a handful of turns and to produce some comics.
It's 600 AD and we need to update our trade. Carthage is selling us a luxury and we can renew the deal, but this time 3 luxuries aren't enough and we have to toss in 7 quids per turn. As time goes by, the AS become more and more greedy, but one day their greed will choke them to death
The evil Babylonians have signed a trade embargo against us, but we can arrange a deal with Egypt for the 7th luxury without being taxed to death, by tossing the knowledge of Music Theory on the table. This is a fitting example about how an otherwise neglected tech may become a precious bargaining chip.
Ironically, our leader is about to rush Bach's in this very same turn, but of course Cleopatra couldn't know it
On the eastern front, we keep fighting enemy trepassers. One of those successfull skirmishes grants us another leader. Alas, it's too late for either Smith's or Magellan's (they've been taken the turn before), so the leader is used to form an army with the elite starred knights:
On the battle front, preparations are made for another strike at a major Persian city. Meanwhile, dastardly Jerksees has bought allies, but as the AS suck horribly at naval warfare, the only relevant effect is to reward us with some much needed war happiness.
Moreover, a nasty surprise is about to fall on the unaware Persians:
When the threat unfolds, it's too late for them:
As the combat settler founds its city, a corridor for a direct strike on Pasagardae opens up:
And, in 640 AD, we manage to take over the city. Persia loses another major cavalry production center, and also its Leonardo's Workshop. But once again the enemy riflemen take a heavy toll on our forces.
At this point, war weariness must be hitting them very badly, but we're also being suffering from it. Persia is far from being subdued, and with their riflemen and cavalry units is giving us a constant hard time. Military Tradition is becoming an urgent need, but it's still many turns away from completition.
The best course of action is to go on with the Persian offensive at full steam, regardless of the cost. Pasagardae won't be relatively safe until we take over Persepolis, that won't be relatively safe until we take over the cities bordering it. If we stop now, we're bound to lose all the conquered land. In other words, it's all or nothing.
Moreover, there's the risk to go under a dogpile. If Persia keeps buying allies, we'll end up with nobody to trade with.
How will things go? Will the Nerds succeed in this epic struggle? We'll see more of it in the next installment. Meanwhile, thanks for following
It's 600 AD and we need to update our trade. Carthage is selling us a luxury and we can renew the deal, but this time 3 luxuries aren't enough and we have to toss in 7 quids per turn. As time goes by, the AS become more and more greedy, but one day their greed will choke them to death
The evil Babylonians have signed a trade embargo against us, but we can arrange a deal with Egypt for the 7th luxury without being taxed to death, by tossing the knowledge of Music Theory on the table. This is a fitting example about how an otherwise neglected tech may become a precious bargaining chip.
Ironically, our leader is about to rush Bach's in this very same turn, but of course Cleopatra couldn't know it
On the eastern front, we keep fighting enemy trepassers. One of those successfull skirmishes grants us another leader. Alas, it's too late for either Smith's or Magellan's (they've been taken the turn before), so the leader is used to form an army with the elite starred knights:
On the battle front, preparations are made for another strike at a major Persian city. Meanwhile, dastardly Jerksees has bought allies, but as the AS suck horribly at naval warfare, the only relevant effect is to reward us with some much needed war happiness.
Moreover, a nasty surprise is about to fall on the unaware Persians:
When the threat unfolds, it's too late for them:
As the combat settler founds its city, a corridor for a direct strike on Pasagardae opens up:
And, in 640 AD, we manage to take over the city. Persia loses another major cavalry production center, and also its Leonardo's Workshop. But once again the enemy riflemen take a heavy toll on our forces.
At this point, war weariness must be hitting them very badly, but we're also being suffering from it. Persia is far from being subdued, and with their riflemen and cavalry units is giving us a constant hard time. Military Tradition is becoming an urgent need, but it's still many turns away from completition.
The best course of action is to go on with the Persian offensive at full steam, regardless of the cost. Pasagardae won't be relatively safe until we take over Persepolis, that won't be relatively safe until we take over the cities bordering it. If we stop now, we're bound to lose all the conquered land. In other words, it's all or nothing.
Moreover, there's the risk to go under a dogpile. If Persia keeps buying allies, we'll end up with nobody to trade with.
How will things go? Will the Nerds succeed in this epic struggle? We'll see more of it in the next installment. Meanwhile, thanks for following
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