BvBPL
Pour Decision Maker
That's why I suggested "Do you want to see a movie? Just the two of us?"
That seems like a strong signal.
That seems like a strong signal.
Should I assume she doesn't like me and just move on?
- Thread starter longtimelurker0
- Start date
sophie
Break My Heart
Yeah, it's not so much what you ask to do and more how you ask it:
"Hey [x] I really like you and I was wondering if I could take you out some time/if you would want to go on a date with me."
"Yeah sure that sounds great, what did you have in mind?"
"How about y?"
It's even better if you make it personal:
"Well I know you LOVE y and I know they have y1 nearby so would you like to come do that?"
y1 being thing related to y (so if she LOVES Brazilian food, y1 is some Brazilian restaurant downtown; if she's an art junkie then some new rotating exhibit at the local art museum; if she LOVES athletic shizz (and you're a certified belayer) y1 could be rock climbing or a pickup Ultimate game)
The key, just like with a good gift is something light, fun, and memorable. On its own a movie is pretty lame. But pair it with a great dinner or something else and it becomes a pretty decent date. A movie gives you something to talk about with your date to help bridge over those suuper awkward silences.
"Hey [x] I really like you and I was wondering if I could take you out some time/if you would want to go on a date with me."
"Yeah sure that sounds great, what did you have in mind?"
"How about y?"
It's even better if you make it personal:
"Well I know you LOVE y and I know they have y1 nearby so would you like to come do that?"
y1 being thing related to y (so if she LOVES Brazilian food, y1 is some Brazilian restaurant downtown; if she's an art junkie then some new rotating exhibit at the local art museum; if she LOVES athletic shizz (and you're a certified belayer) y1 could be rock climbing or a pickup Ultimate game)
The key, just like with a good gift is something light, fun, and memorable. On its own a movie is pretty lame. But pair it with a great dinner or something else and it becomes a pretty decent date. A movie gives you something to talk about with your date to help bridge over those suuper awkward silences.
Farm Boy
I hope you dance
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A splash of aftershave and insisting on paying for her ticket should take care of that mostly still these days, right?
BvBPL
Pour Decision Maker
All of what Owen said is good advice.
Could you start over if the fighting never ends?
sophie
Break My Heart
Paying for stuff is a bit of a tough thing these days. There are a lot of women who just don't want to deal with it. In most cases either:
a) because it's old fashioned and kinda condescending
or
b) because it puts them in an awkward situation where they feel obligated to somethingsomething or they spend the rest of the night feeling like they owe you now, which no one really wants to do.
Farm Boy
I hope you dance
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Huh. That is sort of sad since it indicates:
1) Pride is so tender that a gift can't be accepted in good faith.
or
2) Sex is considered so cheap as to be transactional.
This seems like bs. But every generation has its own bs, I guess there could be worse than that. I mean, shouldn't the person who suggests going out be the one to pay just in general?
1) Pride is so tender that a gift can't be accepted in good faith.
or
2) Sex is considered so cheap as to be transactional.
This seems like bs. But every generation has its own bs, I guess there could be worse than that. I mean, shouldn't the person who suggests going out be the one to pay just in general?
Hygro
soundcloud.com/hygro/
Don't pay for things. Get them to pay and they will want to get their money's worth
I'm serious. If I start chatting up a gal at a bar and it comes time from drinks, I'm going to way up my chances if I get her to pay. I lower my chances if I pay under most circumstances.
Narz
keeping it real
Yeah, paying for chicks is lose-lose. If she doesn't sleep with you you feel dumb. If she does sleep with you you set the president (sp) that you're gonna pay for stuff in the future.
Narz
keeping it real
I'm expecting it cause its fun. I know there's alot of social shame about sex so if the girl needs 1 or 2 dates to warm up I understand. If there's no sex by the 3rd or 4th date I assume either there's no attraction or maybe just a low sex drive & either way there's no point to continue (unless she's really cool, then we can chill as friends).
If there's no possibility of sex it's not dating, just hanging out.
If there's no possibility of sex it's not dating, just hanging out.
warpus
Sommerswerd asked me to change this
The best way to pick up girls is to go up to a bar, chat one up, and ask her if she will buy you a drink.
It almost never works, but the girl who laughs and buys you a drink is the one you want.
It almost never works, but the girl who laughs and buys you a drink is the one you want.
Would asking be appropriate? Like, after the dinner you say, "Look, I'd like this one to be on me, it will make me feel right, but I definitely wouldn't like you to be offended by that or something. So, you don't mind if I pay for us both?"
In case with a ticket, you just come up with two tickets and go with something like, "Hey, I've got a spare ticket, and I'd love you to come with me, what do you say?"
Also, is it customary to present a girl you like with flower(s)? Okay, if she's green, then potted flower(s)?
sophie
Break My Heart
Yeah that's probably the best way to approach it if you're adamant about paying for her. The main thing is to a) not be a patronizing douche about it and b) not insist if she says "no, it's ok I'll pay for myself"
Actually newsflash: the correct approach in most things whether dating or otherwise is to just use your words
Actually newsflash: the correct approach in most things whether dating or otherwise is to just use your words
Manfred Belheim
Moaner Lisa
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1 year in and I don't think he even knows what she likes/loves yet, so probably not applicable.
warpus
Sommerswerd asked me to change this
It makes sense for me that the person who did the asking out also does the paying. Or at least would attempt to pay for everything once the bill comes.
You are "taking someone out" and treating them to a night out. It's on you.
Having said that, it does make sense that some women might find that too old fashioned. Or men. Or whoever.
You are "taking someone out" and treating them to a night out. It's on you.
Having said that, it does make sense that some women might find that too old fashioned. Or men. Or whoever.
Farm Boy
I hope you dance
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That's what I always figured. Was nice to be treated the couple times it happened.
warpus
Sommerswerd asked me to change this
Yeah, if some girl came up to me and asked me if she can take me out to dinner, that to me implies that the treat is on her.
Mind you, I would likely try to pay my half anyway, or even try to pay for her half. I like being nice to people who are nice to me.
Mind you, I would likely try to pay my half anyway, or even try to pay for her half. I like being nice to people who are nice to me.
Hygro
soundcloud.com/hygro/
A longwinded explanation of why you should interject yourself into her domain and then a gift of flowers? It's so sticky and overbearing it just might work.
since you asked ;D
precedent, or to "pre cede". You are ceding who pays, in advance, so preceding.
If you're into the girl you want that which brings you together, however together means to you. Sex is the most connective activity. And if you aren't down with the get down, girl's gonna give up giving it up: no more dates.
Farm Boy
I hope you dance
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Sex is a connective activity. The most isn't right. Different activities are more in different ways. I always figured if you need to crutch on sex early then the non-sex base is too weak to be very interesting. Ultimately, I found a mate that meets my criteria. There certainly aren't any deficits in interest or drive in that specific area, though, contrary to Narz's estimation.
Hygro
soundcloud.com/hygro/
I think lifting should be done with primary muscles or you build a warped form. I think relationships in which you can and do everything outside of the relationship except sex are formed around sex. Sex is about the rawest, most honest state, showing you how vulnerable and real you are being with each other. Do you inspire each other or tire each other? Is sex contrived and full of orgasm-lies or in your arms do each doth you die? Can you laugh and can you cry? Why oh w....
