Discussion in 'Off-Topic' started by civvver, May 31, 2017.
Single-arm pushups and pullups. Just because it'd be an awesome thing to do.
This. Though frankly I'd be happy with the ability to lie down and get to sleep within 10-15 minutes. That would be wonderful....
Physically I would like to bee inflammation free. My joints and guts are a downer.
The Mooch's firing just reminded me of another thing I wish I could do: <snip>
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I would like to be able to reach through an internet connection and choke people, when it seems appropriate.
I wish I could talk to animals in their own language and understand what's going on and feel all the right sensory input in the right context but also retain the super mind of a human (compared to animals at least)
I bet I could tell some dark tales to the birds outside my window and give them nightmares so that they maybe migrate somewhere else and shut the hell up in the morning. And imagine being able to talk to your dog so you can tell it how awesome it is or whatever. Or maybe listen in to some dolphin jokes. You know they've got jokes
OK Dr Dolittle.
I think you can tell a lot of what's going on just by careful observation.
And dogs certainly respond to you telling them how marvellous they are.
"Who's a clever boy then? Yes, you are! Yes! Oh, what a clever boy!"
And before you know where you are they're trying to get amorous with your leg.
What's wrong with that? I do that when people tell me I'm clever.
Yes. So do I.
But would you do it if, say, a parrot told you were clever?
We talking interspecies dating here.
I'm as broad minded as the next parrot, but there are limits, you know.
Parrots have skinny legs. Not my type.
Ah, but you see, dolphins most certainly do not have skinny legs.
Can you swim reasonably well?
And make clicking noises?
I swim really well, but my clicking is at too low a pitch to carry on much conversation there.
I wish I could blow people's heads up, like in that David Cronenberg movie Scanners.
I could sure use that skill on telemarketers, or those damn idiots from "Microsoft" who call at all hours of the day and night claiming my computer has a virus.
♪ Pop goes the weasel ♫
We have more in common than I thought.
Yeah. They're a nuisance. Do they always sound like they're Indian?
Fortunately my land-line provider has recently provided me with a black list facility. So I just add "the last number that rang" to it. Seems to be working. So far.
Oh and incidentally the only virus that my computer seems to suffer from actually is Microsoft.
Remind me of a power I would really, really like to have, kind of a combination of both, though less violent : I'd like to be able to have complete power over machines (like mind-powered hacking or so) and so be able to fries the device or take information from it at will, when I'm annoyed by someone.
I admit that I most often think about it when I'm being griefed by some PvPer when playing a MMO, and I imagine I can makes his computer goes bust as a retaliatory measure. Or I can grab the personal information of a spammer and hack his bank account and makes his life a living hell.
I know, I'm mean.
"I wish I could murder low-wage retail workers and get away with it"?
I find the unhelpful ones brighten up my day, their mixture of honesty and despair is great. If I'm not in a rush I will ask them for different sizes or colours and leave them with a pile of work and no sale and leave with an inane "have a nice day". Watching them moan through the window when they think I have gone is just like christmas
Replace "low-wage retail workers" with "noisy neighbours" and I'm down.
Actually, another mean-spirited power I'd really, really, really love to have : the ability to cause headache proportional to the amount of noise someone is producing (and where I can define the baseline headache level).
I'd go on a rampage with it if I could ever get it. With a cathartic, evil smile.
In fairy tales you always get three wishes:
One to screw up, one to counter that and screw up big time, and the last one to undo everything
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