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Something you wish you were physically capable of

Discussion in 'Off-Topic' started by civvver, May 31, 2017.

  1. Traitorfish

    Traitorfish The Tighnahulish Kid

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    You are going straight to hell.
     
    Lexicus likes this.
  2. Ferocitus

    Ferocitus Deity

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    I would like to go to hell, via the scenic route.
     
  3. civvver

    civvver Deity

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    That reminds me of this joke.

    A man finds a genie in a bottle and the genie says I'll give you three wishes but there is a catch. Anything you wish for I have to give doubly to your ex-wife.

    So first the man wishes for a million dollars. The genie gives him a million dollars and gives his ex wife two million.
    Then the man wishes for a mansion. So he gets a mansion and his ex wife gets two.
    Then the man with his last wish says genie, I want you to beat me half to death.

    Anyway back to the physical capabilities things, I wish I could get as drunk as I want with no hangovers. That would be stellar. Currently I can't even drink in moderation cus I've been drinking every day for like 3 weeks straight and am starting to get severe heartburn and acid reflux. That's pretty normal for me, as frequency of drinking over quantity is what is the real killer. I need to reset with about 10 days no alcohol. Which is not a big deal, but a couple brews after work is a favorite pastime of mine.
     
    Hrothbern likes this.
  4. warpus

    warpus In pork I trust

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    Getting beaten half to death sounds horrible. I'd rather get a million dollars, who cares what my ex wife is getting? She'll just blow it all on shoes or whatever anyway.
     
    The_J likes this.
  5. SS-18 ICBM

    SS-18 ICBM Oscillator

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    Here and there
    Long battery life, self-repair systems, off-site data backup, all-spectrum camouflage, on-board weapons systems...
     
  6. Ferocitus

    Ferocitus Deity

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    If you develop certain types of mental illness, you might be able to
    get loads of lithium cheap.
    What you don't use you can sell to Elon Musk.
    Ka-ching$$$
     
  7. Sommerswerd

    Sommerswerd I never yielded

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    I wish I could play esports competitively, like world championship level, without having to practice... just show up and win the cup, then go back to work on Monday.
     
    Lexicus likes this.
  8. danjuno

    danjuno Emperor

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    Turn invisible at will, as well as anything I'm holding. And the gold from Fort Knox mysteriously disappears!

    Realistically: Just lose a few more pounds.
     
  9. Gori the Grey

    Gori the Grey The Poster

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    Taping and mudding drywall
     
  10. Ferocitus

    Ferocitus Deity

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    They are one of my favourite bands too.
    No need to tape them - they're on youtube now.
     
  11. onejayhawk

    onejayhawk Afflicted with reason

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    next to George Bush's parents
    Running a four minute mile.

    Long before I was aware of such things, a 17 year old did it at local track meet. The stopwatch was mounted and sits in the high school trophy case. I always thought it was cool. These days it's not such a big deal, roughly equal to a 3:40 1500 meters. That's world class time but not a record breaker for most major tracks.

    J
     
    The_J likes this.
  12. Borachio

    Borachio Way past lunacy

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    I really wish I could walk more than a mile or two.

    I used to very much enjoy walking.
     
    Synsensa likes this.
  13. Commodore

    Commodore Deity

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    My wish wouldn't be something that I could do, but something I wish I didn't have to do. I wish my body didn't produce waste that I have to expel from my body. Having to stop what I'm doing to go use the restroom can be pretty damn annoying sometimes.
     
  14. Lexicus

    Lexicus Deity

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    I wish I didn't have to eat on a regular basis.
     
  15. Borachio

    Borachio Way past lunacy

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    Good news: you don't have to eat at all.

    A few people I know of don't.
     
  16. Timsup2nothin

    Timsup2nothin Quad B

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    I know some people who used to eat, but have just stopped dead.
     
  17. Borachio

    Borachio Way past lunacy

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    Cold turkey, you mean? I was never that fond of turkey. Hot or cold.

    I'd prefer the gradual reduction schema myself.

    A nice slow fade to black
     
    Last edited: Aug 3, 2017
  18. Moriarte

    Moriarte Immortal

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    Wish I could pull the plug on all electricity producing power plants on the planet and keep 'em off for a year. I bet nothing bad can come out of this.
     
  19. Pokurcz

    Pokurcz Emperor

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    I wish for automatically teleported poop, like they had in the alternate universe Stewie and Brian visited.
     
  20. Akka

    Akka Moody old mage.

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    Facing my computer.
    Actually...
     

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