Something you wish you were physically capable of

[Traitorfish]

I find the unhelpful ones brighten up my day, their mixture of honesty and despair is great. If I'm not in a rush I will ask them for different sizes or colours and leave them with a pile of work and no sale and leave with an inane "have a nice day". Watching them moan through the window when they think I have gone is just like christmas

You are going straight to hell.

 

[Ferocitus]

I would like to go to hell, via the scenic route.

 

[civvver]

That reminds me of this joke.

A man finds a genie in a bottle and the genie says I'll give you three wishes but there is a catch. Anything you wish for I have to give doubly to your ex-wife.

So first the man wishes for a million dollars. The genie gives him a million dollars and gives his ex wife two million.
Then the man wishes for a mansion. So he gets a mansion and his ex wife gets two.
Then the man with his last wish says genie, I want you to beat me half to death.

Anyway back to the physical capabilities things, I wish I could get as drunk as I want with no hangovers. That would be stellar. Currently I can't even drink in moderation cus I've been drinking every day for like 3 weeks straight and am starting to get severe heartburn and acid reflux. That's pretty normal for me, as frequency of drinking over quantity is what is the real killer. I need to reset with about 10 days no alcohol. Which is not a big deal, but a couple brews after work is a favorite pastime of mine.

 

[warpus]

Getting beaten half to death sounds horrible. I'd rather get a million dollars, who cares what my ex wife is getting? She'll just blow it all on shoes or whatever anyway.

 

[SS-18 ICBM]

Long battery life, self-repair systems, off-site data backup, all-spectrum camouflage, on-board weapons systems...

 

[Ferocitus]

Long battery life, self-repair systems, off-site data backup, all-spectrum camouflage, on-board weapons systems...

If you develop certain types of mental illness, you might be able to
get loads of lithium cheap.
What you don't use you can sell to Elon Musk.
Ka-ching$$$

 

[Sommerswerd]

I wish I could play esports competitively, like world championship level, without having to practice... just show up and win the cup, then go back to work on Monday.

 

[danjuno]

Turn invisible at will, as well as anything I'm holding. And the gold from Fort Knox mysteriously disappears!

Realistically: Just lose a few more pounds.

 

[Gori the Grey]

Taping and mudding drywall

 

[Ferocitus]

Taping and mudding drywall

They are one of my favourite bands too.
No need to tape them - they're on youtube now.

 

[onejayhawk]

Running a four minute mile.

Long before I was aware of such things, a 17 year old did it at local track meet. The stopwatch was mounted and sits in the high school trophy case. I always thought it was cool. These days it's not such a big deal, roughly equal to a 3:40 1500 meters. That's world class time but not a record breaker for most major tracks.

J

 

[Borachio]

I really wish I could walk more than a mile or two.

I used to very much enjoy walking.

 

[Commodore]

My wish wouldn't be something that I could do, but something I wish I didn't have to do. I wish my body didn't produce waste that I have to expel from my body. Having to stop what I'm doing to go use the restroom can be pretty damn annoying sometimes.

 

[Lexicus]

I wish I didn't have to eat on a regular basis.

 

[Borachio]

Good news: you don't have to eat at all.

A few people I know of don't.

 

[Timsup2nothin]

Good news: you don't have to eat at all.

A few people I know of don't.

I know some people who used to eat, but have just stopped dead.

 

[Borachio]

Cold turkey, you mean? I was never that fond of turkey. Hot or cold.

I'd prefer the gradual reduction schema myself.

A nice slow fade to black

 

[Moriarte]

Wish I could pull the plug on all electricity producing power plants on the planet and keep 'em off for a year. I bet nothing bad can come out of this.

 

[Pokurcz]

I wish for automatically teleported poop, like they had in the alternate universe Stewie and Brian visited.

 

[Akka]

Wish I could pull the plug on all electricity producing power plants on the planet and keep 'em off for a year. I bet nothing bad can come out of this.

Actually...