Scene 1
(The camera cuts to Virote looking bored in the office. He's sitting at his computer. Two male and one female co-workers are also doing the same. The door to Ricky's office can be seen)
*Enter Ricky the Landlord from his office door*
Ricky: Virote, could you come into my office, please?
*Ricky goes into his office. Virote gets up and follows Ricky through.*
(Camera goes to Ricky's office. Inside, there is Ricky's computer desk and a chair behind it, in the back-right corner. There are three chairs along the left-hand side, and another chair in front of Ricky's computer, facing left.)
*Enter Ricky, who sits down on one of the three left-hand chairs. Enter Virote, who sits in the one in front of the desk*
Ricky *cheerful*: So, then, here you are, in the office, with me your pal and landlord! Have you been settling in well?
Virote *happy*: Yeah, I have been.
Virote *cheerful*: Right. Been getting to know everyone?
Virote: Yeah, I have!
Ricky *cheerful, concerned*: Good. Is there anyone you can say you don't like?
Virote: No, not really, they all seem like pretty cool people.
Ricky *still cheerful*: Good. Because you're going to choose which one gets fired. So, who you going to choose?
*Virote's eyes widen in shock, and he juts back a little*
Virote *taken aback*: What? I dunno? Could I choose you?
*Ricky's eyes widen in shock, and he juts back a little*
Ricky: *scared* Well, erm... Technically maybe...
*Ricky lets out a nervous laugh and points at Virote*
Ricky *nervously happy*: But it's great that we can have a laugh with each other like this!
*Stops pointing*
Ricky *serious, happy*: Right, the way I see it, you've got three choices. There's hard working man. Hard working woman. Hard working man number two. And then there's you. HINT HINT.
*Points at Virote again*
[...]
Scene 3
(The camera goes to Virote at the office, sitting on a chair, getting on with his work, like the rest of the 3 employees)
*Enter Ricky, from his office*
Ricky: Hey, everyone! I'm going to make coffee! Who wants some?
*The employees look up at Ricky, in confusion*
Virote: Alight, I'll have one...
Hard Working Man: I'll have one, too!
Hard Working Woman: I will as well!
Hard Working Man Number Two: Could I have a cup of tea?
Ricky: Alright, alright, so that's four coffees and a tea? Okay, I'll get to it!
*Ricky leaves*
HWM: I wonder what's got into him? He's not usually that generous...
*HWW shrugs*
[...]
still scene 3
(Camera cuts back to the office, with the 4 employees in the same positions)
*Enter Ricky*
Ricky *cheerful*: Hey, guys. Working hard?
HWM *enquiring*: Where's our coffees, which you said you'd get an hour ago?
*Ricky looks taken aback*
Ricky *serious*: Right. A man walks into a bar. He's holding your bonuses. He says "I'd like to order 300 beers, please". He then says “I’d like to order three hundred packets of crisps please. Oh and can you bring it all to that table outside please? Cheers.” There’s a girl in the bar. The man and that girl exchange a few looks. Something happens between them later. *Chuckle* Someone puts something on on the jukebox. The man who walked into the bar loves this song. The man who walked into the bar then says “If you want to see your bonuses this year, I wouldn't mention the coffees again”. Or any other drinks, for that matter. Crystal?
(Scene ends)
Scene 5
(The scene begins in the office. The 4 employees are all in their positions (inc. Virote))
*Enter Ricky, from his office. He walks up to Virote*
Ricky: Hey there, Virote!
*Virote looks up*
Virote: Hey Ricky
*Ricky takes 2 tickets out from his pocket*
Ricky: So, I've got two tickets to see Pissing Tomm. Would you like to join me?
("Pissing Tomm" is a gag from elsewhere in the episode)
*Virote looks at Ricky in confusion*
Virote *suspicious*: What, like a date?
Ricky: *cheerful* Yes!... *defensive* No!... *cheerful* Yes!... The guys are coming, too!
Virote: No, they're not. You've only got two tickets!
Ricky *smug*: Yeah, I know. I don't like the guys.
still scene 5...
(The camera cuts back to Virote at the office. The floor is not visible until I say so. (Not me the character, me the writer))
*Enter Ricky, carrying a tray of coffees*
Ricky *cheerful*: Don't say I don't do nothing for you!
HWM: Wow! That's unusually generous of you, Ricky!
Ricky: Yeah, does that mean you like me anymore?
HWM *awkward*: Well-
Ricky *interrupting*: How about if I did this?
*Ricky starts to do his dance. The coffees fly everywhere*
(Camera zooms out a little to reveal masses of plastic coffee cups on the floor, almost covering it up)
*The employees look on at Ricky in confusion*
Scene 7
(Camera goes to Arnold, wearing a suit, surrounded by people wearing suits and a crowd of people. They are all walking along the street)
Suit 1: Mister Prime Minister, what should we do about your three o'clock?
Arnold: Erm... Cancel it. I really can't be arsed to be talking to the Iranians at this juncture.
Suit 2: And your three ten?
Arnold: I've got to go to that one.
Suit 3: You were good on the radio the other day, mister Prime Minister.
Arnold: I don’t get radio. You can’t see the people talking. I just couldn’t find them anywhere. How do you know where the sound is coming from?
Suit 3: Radio is an audio medium mister Prime Minister.
Arnold: It’s not very medium if it doesn’t have visuals. Is there anything else on the agenda?
Suit 1: Yes, you need to meet one of your constituents. He's going to come up to you right now.
Arnold: What? But I'm not even in my constituency!
Suit 1: Yes, I know. But he insisted on meeting you here.
Arnold: Well, where is he, then?
*Indiana music, Tomm, still wearing the oranges*
Arnold: Oh, for the love of God. Noo, Tomm, go away.
Tomm: Don't worry, Arnold, you shall be oppressed no more!
Arnold: I'm not being oppressed. I am the most powerful man in the country. Now bugger off.
Tomm: Oh no! You've got a really bad case of Stockholm syndrome! Don't worry, Arnold, I'll save you!
Arnold: Oh, for
sake. Tomm, this is my sixth job this week. And it's only Tuesday. Can't you just leave me alone for five seconds?
*Tomm looks at his watch for five seconds*
Tomm: Five. Right, come on, Arnold, I'm freeing you from the chains of oppression.
Arnold: Look, just piss off Tomm, will you?
Tomm: It's alright now, you're free!
Arnold: But why are you even doing this? You know you and the other guys are just going to be pissed off at me for having no job again!
Tomm: But you'll be free! Isn't freedom worth it? Did not a wise man once say, "A man who would exchange his freedom for a little security deserves neither and will lose both"?
Arnold: No, go away, or I'll get my henchmen to escort you away!
Tomm: Well, I hoped I wouldn't have to go down this route...
(Camera goes to Ricky's office. He's sitting behind his desk, listening to the radio on the computer)
Radio: And Prime Minister Arnold Pervert has just lost a vote of no confidence in Parliament after the allegations arose that he had sold the country to a pimp in order to satisfy his obsessive desire for sex with Siamese twins.
*Virote enters the room. Ricky looks up and then turns the radio off*
Ricky *cheerful*: Come and have a seat!
*Virote sits down in front of the desk*
Ricky *cheerful*: Now, you know that the company is going through some major changes? Well, I'd like to make you an integral part of these changes. You're fired.
Virote: What? Why?
Ricky *cheerful*: Well, because of the credit crunch!
Virote: Ricky, do you even know what the credit crunch is?
Ricky *smug*: Yes, I do.
Virote: Can you say what it is, then?
Ricky *suspicious*: No.
Virote: Well, then, you don't know, do you?
Ricky: Yes. It's where we have to crunch your credit.
Virote: And how does that mean I have to get fired?
Ricky *agitated*: Listen, I've been trying to go about this nicely, but this just isn't on, is it? I fired you because a) you don't belong to any unions, and b) because I just don't like you, okay? Now bugger off!
*Ricky points to the door. Virote leaves*
(Scene Ends)
I've only just picked it up from Virote's signature. Not bad, man. I'd definitely watch it.
