The giving of a gift, a set of tragedies therein, and a host of questions thereafter.

[Sophie 378]

Hey Rambuchan, watch The Full Monty.

"He's got ... gnomes"

Basically, they're tasteless.

 

[Abaddon]

Perhaps hes got the DVD at gnome?

 

[thetrooper]

Thats not even vaugely amusing. You should be shot for such a crap joke.

I choose to turn the other cheek.

Bless you, In Gnomine Patris et Filii et Spiritus Sancti.

 

[Rambuchan]

Gees! trooper! If only I had gnome you were so well versed in latin earlier!

 

[thetrooper]

Well, a contract on my head brings out the best in me.

 

[Gladi]

Bright day
Please bear with you that I read merely the first page.

I don't know how it works over there in Britain but here in Central Europe gnomes are... well they seen as epitome of Kitsch. KITSCH

Plus i could see such radical gift as an offense, as in telling your friends how their home should be, or is seen by you- combined with ultra-kitschy percevied nature of garden gnomes, ouch. In such situtation some crystal or porcelain sculpture, or little classical still life picture would, I personally think at least, be more apropriate.

And does the, german, husband knows what a house-warming is? I sure did not know before I was hit head on with America...

 

[Rambuchan]

Worthy comments there Gladi. I'm getting a much clearer picture about these little fellows now.

 

[EolTheDarkElf]

Actually.... those gnomes aren't even that bad.... for gnomes naturally.... . I've seen worse....

To be honest, I think it is pretty rude to reject a gift like that, even considering that being offered a garden gnome puts one under a lot of emotional stress..... . But then again, nobody is perfect, maybe they really hate those gnomes...

As for being "a German thing" - maybe there's something to it... I know there were times (and maybe still are?) when the western border of Poland was littered with garden gnomes for sale. Relatively many Germans were coming over and buying them lil' red bastards by the truckload.... So if anything, my impression was that it's a German thing to like gnomes more than others do. Could be very wrong though, haven't been in Germany in a long time.

As each mass craze has its devout haters, maybe he was one of them.

I feel for you. I'm always very uneasy giving gifts, I never know if I got the right thing, so I wouldn't want this to happen to me.

But I wouldn't try to dig too deep into why the 3 year old started crying. That's the age when children fear many weird and completely irrational things. I keep hearing such stories from my friends all the time. Granted that garden gnome exposure at such young age can be dangerous, I don't think there will any be permanent damage to his mind . The parents are most likely used to kids crying over who-knows-what, it's not such a big deal.

Actually I find some humour in this:

"Hey, look what uncle Rambuchan brought!"
".............. "

Kind of.... sums it up.

 

[bathsheba666]

Actually, I completely disagree on the rudeness thing.

For really close friends, being able to be completely honest and not having to hide behind social niceties, is a 'badge' of how close the friendship is.

Our relationship surpasses trivia...

True friendship, warts and all, why would it matter if they don't like your present. It's not you they dislike...

 

[cegman]

Had I gnome how terrible this thread was I would have gnever entered.

 

[Rambuchan]

Thanks to the latest posters for the input.

I'm bumping this with some very grave and sad news folks. Yup. Gulp. It's tough to share it. Ahem. You know I said my mother wanted to take the gnomes instead? Well, she came to me yesterday and sheepishly asked me if she could............exchange them for something else.

"You want to exchange them?!" I asked in disbelief.

"Well I just think that I could find something a little more, erm, useful instead." Was her sorry reply.

So today I went and took back the gnomes. I swapped them for some gift vouchers instead and my mother shall be using those to get something more "useful"

To be perfectly honest, this is the straw that has broken the camel's back. My own mother can't accept my gnomes. I don't think there's much more worth living for after such brutal betrayal.

Goodbye cruel world

:suicide:

 

[IglooDame]

Ram, it isn't that she didn't like them, it is obvious that Garden Gnome Liberation Front operatives got to her and coerced her into retracting her earlier request.

 

[Elrohir]

Poor Ram, rejected on all fronts! Hah, maybe you should stick to gift cards in the future, or ask people what they want beforehand. (I thought the gnomes were kinda cool....)

In answer to the original questions, I think it is "ok" for friends to say they don't like a gift, but I would consider it more than a little insensitive. I certainly would never say that to a friend of mine. Yes, you should always accept a gift and take it in the spirity which it was offered. Even if it's an awful gift that makes you die a little inside every time you look at it, you should still accept it. I think your friends acted rudely by rejecting your gifts. It was within their rights to say they didn't like it - but it was a highly uncultured (Well, you said they were hippies) and insensitive thing to do.

 

[kcwong]

Perhaps your love for them will cause you to end up in a situation like this?

Now THAT is what I call a target-rich environment!!

Be careful where you point your guns at... there's a hostage (Snow White) near the bottom!

 

[7ronin]

What I don't understand is how you could go and give your mother the gnomes. Your own mother! And just so you understand, hatred of garden gnomes is not restricted to the young. I'm much older that the rest of you and I wouldn't touch a gnome with a ten foot pole. Down here where I live, the established custom when visiting friends in a new house is to take along a bottle of vino.

~ Is it ok for friends to say outright if they don’t like or want a gift?
No, very rude.

~ Should one always accept gifts they don’t like or want, so that they at least honour the gesture of generosity?
Of course. You should never knowingly give offense.

~ Should people pass on to other people gifts that they have reluctantly accepted?
No, and anyone who would do so obviously doesn't think much of the person getting the passed on gift.

~ What’s wrong with garden gnomes anyway?
You have to ask?

~ Why was the kid so frightened of a cute little gnome? What was he imagining?
Who knows. He'll either get over it or be terrified of garden gnomes for the rest of his life. And who says garden gnomes are cute.

 

[Abaddon]

Ha! rejected even by your own mother

 

[Narz]

~ Is it ok for friends to say outright if they don’t like or want a gift?

Sure, honesty is the best policy. They should be a little more polite about it though. If my friend buys me yellow socks one year I will certainly say something to aviod getting yellow socks the next year.

~ Should one always accept gifts they don’t like or want, so that they at least honour the gesture of generosity?

I accept gifts I don't want. With the reciept included of course.

~ Should people pass on to other people gifts that they have reluctantly accepted?

Sure, I don't see why not. I hate having stuff I don't need and consider it a virtue to pass along items useless to me to those who will be able to use them.

~ What’s wrong with garden gnomes anyway?

I find them kind of ugly myself, and useless. I'd rather get something I can use like a bike or MP3 player or something with beneficial effects like a plant or medicinal tea but that's just my opinion. Maybe it pleases some people to gaze upon gnomes.

~ What association (negative or positive) are there surrounding garden gnomes?

Can't speak for others, as for me, I have little association one way or the other with them, a little tacky I suppose and a waste of energy and raw material but nothing more.

~ Is it a German thing about gnomes? (The husband is German)

Dunno.

~ Why was the kid so frightened of a cute little gnome? What was he imagining?

That the gnome was alive and was going to molest him?

 

[Lambert Simnel]

Wow, Ram. I'm staggered that you had managed to allow all of the world's collective wisdom and knowledge on gnomes to bypass you.

I mean, there are some interesting questions you raise about the accepting of gifts versus a somewhat brutal honesty (if I knew the person well enough, I'd go for the latter, actually) - however, I can't really focus on those points due to the complete amazement and bewilderment that keeps striking me when I think that you really thought these appalling things were cute and would make a good present.

Heh. (shakes head in astonishment...)

 

[Neomega]

I was at first falbbergasted and appalled, but apparently, since it did nothign to your relationship, you guys are the type of people who flame on off-topic discussion boards...

You speak your mind, as openly and honestly as possible. Your relationship is not gifts, it is honesty. It hurts when someone does not like a gift, but obviously you guys treasure honesty above all else, including gifts and social graces.

I personally would never do such a thing anymore, allthough in the past, I have told peopel I did not like their gifts, and years later, it tore me up inside for sayign such things. Only my girlfriend knows now if she got me a gift I didn't like... and I feel bad, but we too treasure honesty and communication above all else.

I hope they call you and ask you for the gnomes, maybe for some halloween lawn ornaments.

I can also throw in some 2-bit psychology. You said they loved knick knacks and such, yet for soemreason do not like gnomes.

What they do not realize, is knick knacks by nature are quite, "classless", IMHO.
(please knick knack lovers, do not take offense). They are silly, tawdry, artistic expressions of the placer. Both of them had it in their mind, and I am sure have even discussed it, how "cliche" and "classless" gnomes are. They probably even consider those who have gnomes in their yards to be beneath them. this allows them to distance themselves from the other classless knick-knack gardens they see, and consider theirs "better then everyone elses".

to sum it up: subconscious self-loathing.

Allthough this could be seen as disturbing and wrong, it is really human nature, and everyone does it with just about everything.

 

[mrtn]

Heh, Ram, I had you pinned as, if not hip and cool, then at least so close to it that you could poke it with a long stick.
Now you dropped down to the level just above
"Moustachioed German plumber whos mullet hairstyle is just getting into fashion again."
I'll still love you man, but sheesh...