Things I Learned the Hard Way on BMQ
-Don’t forget your parade boots for Remembrance Day
-BUTTONS!
-Meet your timings or it could be 50 pushups
-There’s a name for people who try to take assault the trench, after throwing the grenade 30 meters, with 8 rounds left in their 9th and final magazine: Casualty.
-Remember your name tag
- Don’t shoot friendly troops with a C6 on FTX2, it tends to make you unpopular.
-Ask your fire team partner your question before you ask the Sgt.
-Any Equipment you lose will be replaced by staff with a big heavy rock
- Changing C6 machine gun barrels with a round in the chamber is BAD!
-Shave in the morning, not at night.
-You can not get away with wearing dirty pants for inspection, as course senior.
- If a stand-to is called and you are the only one moving on the position, someone is possibly playing a prank on you
-Keep your Full fighting order on all the time if you have a smoking problem, so you’re always ready to go.
-Remember which way you came from when you are navigating.
-Look at the range card so you know where the trip flares are when you go out on patrol.
-”Charlie” (right flank) security during a platoon raid is not an appropriate spot for a nap.
-If you’re about to get jumped and pummeled by ten dudes, get the stripper to bring you home.
- “Just
ing GO!” is not a legitimate drill command and will result in mass confusion and laughter [at you].
-When navigating, ask where the trip flares are BEFORE you go out on patrol so you don’t freak out and wander away in the wrong direction [in circles].
-Don’t jump up and stand on chairs and pump your fists in the air while singing along loudly to “We are the Champions” at Smugglers[local strip club]; small Asian women will threaten you.
-[in the throwing bay] Throw the Grenade OVER the wall, not INTO the wall.
-Bright white smiles are not tactical.
-Do not tell MCpl T [section second in command] anything about yourself, it will be used it against you.
-Don’t rest your face on the C6 when firing…you’ll end up with a fat lip.
- Do not stare directly at the Thunderflash beside you during a stand-to, it’s not worth watching the explosion.
-The only good bobble-head is Jenna Jameson, all others get pushups.
-Never trust a fart.
-Do not wash your [down filled] sleeping bag in the washing machine. They are very expensive.
-Link your ammo. This applies in the field and the bar.
- (very skinny soldier) Bring extra warm kit to the field…Better to have it and not need it, than to want and not have.
-No one can be trusted. Unfortunately this sometimes includes oneself.
-It’s not over until it’s over.
-Meaford is the place where dreams come to die.
-don’t try to be a hero with injuries, you could end up wearing a space boot [cast]
-Calling someone by their first name in uniform makes you a gluebag.
- Your weapon, it’s never clean enough.
-Don’t be scared of what you don’t know; learn it and be better for it.
-Just because you’re a rucksack with legs doesn’t mean you can’t do it.
-Whining doesn’t get you anything except old grapes.
-ABSOLUTELY, under any circumstances, fall asleep in class during the Commanding Officer’s address on the very first day of course, and get caught by the Base Sergeant Major. Always a bad idea!
-Don’t leave important things like your laptop insecure in your desk
- Speak quietly as not to waken the Meaford weather machine.
-If you have no idea what you’re doing, try not to look too stupid while you’re doing it.
- Polishing the bottoms of your boots for inspection is just as important as polishing the tops.
-Chewing mints during an inspection is a bad idea.
-Farting on a recce patrol (as funny as it was) is not a good idea.
- You will do log PT the morning after your flu shots.
- Don’t smoke with staff 10 minutes before morning inspection
-Warner Hill sucks!
- Store your gloves in a pocket, or just leave them outside the porta-john [as opposed to IN the porta-john]
-If your buttons come off your combat pants, don’t cut them off your combat jacket to replace them.
-Don’t threaten he Sgt that you will name your children after him.
- Meet your inspection timings.
-Wear lots of socks when you are doing sentry sitting in a trench in the middle of November.
- Always keep your eyes on your weapon
-Don’t wipe your ass with hand sanitizer
-Don’t pack un-needed kit
-THINK, before you talk.
-Bring chew to the field.
-Don’t trust the course senior to make smart decisions on his own.
-C-130 paraflares suck on recces, you could be laying in a puddle forever.
- Even though holding the door open for people is important, it is ALWAYS more important to actually pick up a kitbag and carry it in on the first day.
-If it’s noon on the first day of course and the staff all know your name, that’s bad.
- Don’t pick up your flashlight if you drop it in the horsehockyter in the field.
-Don’t use Purell hand sanitizer to wipe your ass in the field.
- Don’t mistake tampons for candy.
- If you have a Rogers cell phone, don’t bother bringing it.
-You really don’t want to play the game “Barrel, barrel, who’s got the barrel?” It sounds funner than it really is.
- Do not criticize the PT, you (and everyone else) will end up with more.
- Don’t wear your steel toed boots on a ruck sack march
- People are stupid. Stupid people do stupid things. [no sleep amplifies this]
- Sometimes if you want something done right you have to do it yourself.
-You can’t do everything yourself.
-Don’t trust anyone.
- Pick a better approach than a dry rose bush on your recce patrol
- Don’t leave your cell phone or game system out when you leave for lunch.
-If you get poked in the eye with a branch, tell someone right away when you start to lose your sight.
- Secure all C9 machine gun ammo to the weapon prior to beginning of recce patrol.
-Trying to expend all loose C9 ammo during an aussie peel back may result in a surprise when you turn around and realize the rest of your section is gone.
-Check whether your flashlight is functioning prior to leaving on a recce patrol [for the objective sketch]
-When operating a paraflare, remember which way to turn the body. Try not to look surprised.
