#~~ The HEhe HAha Joke Thread ~~#

[Mise]

Salty mud, that joke pwns!

 

[Yeekim]

A new, special kind of store just opened up in a Manhatten shopping center. This store sells husbands, yes that’s right - women can browse men from floors of choices.

Actually, there are 6 floors of men, and with an increase in the floor level bringing an positive attributes… a nifty setup - with a catch. As you open the door to any floor, you may choose a man from that floor but if you go up, you cannot go back down except to exit the building. Interesting, right?

So a young woman goes to the shopping center to find a husband. On the first floor the sign on the door reads: Floor 1 - These men have jobs. The woman reads the sign and says to herself, “Well, that’s better than my last boyfriend, but I wonder what’s further up?” So up she goes.

The second floor sign reads: Floor 2 - These men have jobs and love kids. The woman remarks to herself, “That’s great, but I wonder what’s further up?” And up she goes again.

The third floor sign reads: Floor 3 - These men have jobs, love kids and are extremely good looking. “Hmmm, better” she says. “But I wonder what’s upstairs?”

The fourth floor sign reads: Floor 4 - These men have jobs, love kids, are extremely good looking and help with the housework. “Wow!” exclaims the woman, “very tempting. BUT, there must be more further up!” And again she heads up another flight.

The fifth floor sign reads: Floor 5 - These men have jobs, love kids, are extremely good looking, help with the housework and have a strong romantic streak. “Oh, mercy me! But just think… what must be awaiting me further on?” So up to the sixth floor she goes.

The sixth floor sign reads: Floor 6 - You are visitor 7,548,652 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor only exists as proof that women are impossible to please.

But this is just half the story. I mean - there is also the store that sells wives - with similar setup.
On the first floor, there are women who are great housewives.
On the second floor, there are women who are great housewives and love sex.
Nobody has ever went past that floor, so we don't know who are on floors 3-6...

You're joking about the holocaust, how can that be funny?

A wise man once said it is our ability to make fun of even most terrible and sad things that makes us human...

 

[SS-18 ICBM]

if you are politically correct or do not like mean jokes dont open the spoiler.

Spoiler :

Moderator Action: Trolling joke.
Please read the forum rules: http://forums.civfanatics.com/showthread.php?t=422889

lolz

Jeez, if you're gonna make fun of a controversial topic, at least make the joke uproariously funny.

 

[hossam]

Jeez, if you're gonna make fun of a controversial topic, at least make the joke uproariously funny.

it made me lol.

heres another joke, too balance things out.

Moderator Action: Trolling joke.
Please read the forum rules: http://forums.civfanatics.com/showthread.php?t=422889

 

[uat2d]

Moderator Action: Trolling joke.
Please read the forum rules: http://forums.civfanatics.com/showthread.php?t=422889

Now, that's fun! Since your not joking with peoples' lives, it is much better now...

 

[plarq]

Now, that's fun! Since your not joking with peoples' lives, it is much better now...

but you're joking their sacred faith.

 

[Bigfoot3814]

Quit being babies.

 

[Ziggy Stardust]

Talking about bad jokes.

"You done what?!" Hitler yelled. "Oh my God! You moron! I said I wanted a glass of juice!"

 

[Onionsoilder]

Talking about bad jokes.

"You done what?!" Hitler yelled. "Oh my God! You moron! I said I wanted a glass of juice!"

LOL now that is funny!

 

[Bigfoot3814]

Mom: I'm tired of picking up after you!
Child: I'm not tired of you picking up after me.

 

[bigdog5994]

A traveling salesman knocks on a door and a 8 year old boy with a glass of scotch in one hand and a cigar in the other answers the door

the salesman says "ummm, are your parents home?"

And the boy says "what the . .. .. .. . do you think"


why do hippopotamus where tennis shoes?

Spoiler :

to stomp out burning ducks

 

[SS-18 ICBM]

arab scientists have invented a time traveling device that can take a country centuries back into the middle age.

its called islam.

Now that's funny!

Here's something that cracked me up:
What's the difference between outlaws and in-laws?

Outlaws are wanted.

 

[Bigfoot3814]

This joke may be viewed as offensive sexist bullcrap.

Spoiler :

What do you tell a woman with two black eyes?

Nothing. She just won't listen.

 

[classical_hero]

Fly-fisherman's wife: "Give a man a fish and he eats for a day. Teach a man to fish and you get rid of him for the whole weekend"

 

[hossam]

Fly-fisherman's wife: "Give a man a fish and he eats for a day. Teach a man to fish and you get rid of him for the whole weekend"

build a man a fire and he's warm for a day, set a man on fire and hes warm for a lifetime.

 

[@N1k1T0$]

You're joking about the holocaust, how can that be funny?

With concentration you will realize how it can be funny.

 

[@N1k1T0$]

This joke may be viewed as offensive sexist bullcrap.

Spoiler :

What do you tell a woman with two black eyes?

Nothing. She just won't listen.

Ah Instead of your answer i have a better one.

What do you tell a woman with two black eyes?

Spoiler :

Nothing. She has already got the message.

 

[@N1k1T0$]

build a man a fire and he's warm for a day, set a man on fire and hes warm for a lifetime.

Give a man a beer and he is drunk for a day , teach the man to be drunk and you got an Irishman for a lifetime !

 

[uat2d]

With concentration you will realize how it can be funny.

Actually, with concentration you will realize how it is not funny.

 

[salty mud]

Please stop using the word concentration. It makes all this even funnier.