The LAMEST jokes you can think of...

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Joe: "I wish the women would leave the driving to us."
John: "Hey! What happened?"
Joe: "My wife backed the car out of the garage this morning."
John: "So what's wrong with that?"
Joe: "I backed it in last night."

-------------------------------------
A man walked into the lingerie department in a large department store. After getting up enough nerve, he approached a saleslady. Seeing he was already red faced, she asked if she could help him.

He finally stammered and told her his wife had asked him to get her a bra. When he was asked what size she wanted, he realized he didn't know.

Being helpful, the clerk asked him if he could give her a clue. " Are they the size of grapefruits " she asked.

"No", he said, "not that big. "

"Well, how about oranges "

"no not that big ".

"plums "

"no".

Running out of fruits she said "how about eggs" .

His face lit up as he said "yes!!! fried eggs".
 
Impossible to Please
A group of girlfriends is on vacation when they see a 5-story hotel with a sign that reads: "For Women Only." Since they are without their boyfriends and husbands, they decide to go in.

The bouncer, a very attractive guy, explains to them how it works. "We have 5 floors. Go up floor by floor, and once you find what you are looking for, you can stay there. It's easy to decide since each floor has a sign telling you what's inside."

So they start going up and on the first floor the sign reads: "All the men on this floor are short and plain." The friends laugh and without hesitation move on to the next floor.

The sign on the second floor reads: "All the men here are short and handsome." Still, this isn't good enough, so the friends continue on up.

They reach the third floor and the sign reads: "All the men here are tall and plain."

They still want to do better, and so, knowing there are still two floors left, they continued on up.

On the fourth floor, the sign is perfect: "All the men here are tall and handsome." The women get all excited and are going in when they realize that there is still one floor left. Wondering what they are missing, they head on up to the fifth floor.

There they find a sign that reads: "There are no men here. This floor was built only to prove that there is no way to please a woman."
 
I'd like to repost a lame joke I posted earlier that was overlooked:

z4ckdabeast said:
Did you hear about the man who lost his whole left side in a car crash?

Spoiler :
He's all right now.
Click to expand...
 
That joke is as far from lame as you can get. Post it in the other thread.
 
CCRunner .
 
Uh, no. Not until this thread reaches 1000 posts.
 
Bobbtjoe... just please... leave. :gripe:

For legality's sake:

Two nuns are sitting on a park bench. A streaker runs past. One of the nuns has a stroke, the other couldnt quite reach.
 
Salty, I like!
 
Thats not how the forum works. The MODS decide when it gets locked, once locked we start a new thread. You are not a moderator.

This thread could last for a few more weeks. There is no point "jumping the gun"
 
bob your thread got locked.

Now don't start another "Why did my thread get locked!" thread.
 
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