The LAMEST jokes you can think of...

[KaiserElectric]

I walked into a bar the other day and ordered a double.

The bartender brought out a guy who looked just like me.

 

[amazingorange]

What do you call batman and robin after they got run over by a steam roller?



Flat man and ribbon.

 

[stee]

A funny football joke.


A football coach walked into the locker room before a game, looked over to his star player and said, "I'm not supposed to let you play since you failed math, but we need you in there. So, what I have to do is ask you a math question, and if you get it right, you can play."

The player agreed, so coach looked into his eyes intently and asked, "Okay, now concentrate hard and tell me the answer to this. What is two plus two?"

The player thought for a moment and then answered, "4?"

"Did you say 4?" the coach exclaimed, excited that he had got it right.

Suddenly all the other players on the team began screaming..., "Come on coach, give him another chance!"

 

[Gladinia]

I've heard the same joke, only it's the blondes that have been invited to a talk show to prove that they're not dumb. So the host asks the blonde "what is 345 times 15?" and she answers "1763" And all the blondes in the audience shout "Give her another chance, give her another chance!" And so the host says, okay, and asks her an easier question. "What is 15 times 15?" And the blonde answers wrong again. And all the blondes in the audience scream "Giver her another chance, Giver her another chance!!!" And so the host says, ok, one more chance, and he asks her "What is two plus two" The blonde brightens a bit, and confidently answers "4!" And all the blondes in the audience shout...

 

[rhawn]

How many retards does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Spoiler :

I don't know, but I know one that eats them.

 

[Martacus]

I dunno if this one has been told yet, but here goes...


Want to hear a dirty joke?
--A boy fell down in the mud.

Would you rather hear a clean joke?
--The boy took a bath.

How about another clean joke?
--The boy took a bath with bubbles.

Maybe another dirty joke?
--"Bubbles" works for $50 an hour.

 

[flyingchicken]

That's a lot better said than written.

 

[Tiigon]

Two blind men were talking and one said "See ya."

Mother and father played table tennis. Father lost. No one's yet found him.

 

[The Lemon]

Why did the chicken cross the road?

Spoiler :

I don't know, ask the chicken.

 

[KaiserElectric]

That one is a groaner, so....

GROOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNN....

 

[Veritass]

In my next play, I have to tell this joke to my daughter to help cheer her up:

Q. Why do gorillas have big nostrils?
A. Because they have big fingers.

 

[uat2d]

- Knock knock

- Who's there?

- You're there

 

[holy king]

- Knock knock

- Who's there?

- You're there

thread winner.

 

[Heretic_Cata]

Guy: Someone's coming
Girl: Who ?
Guy: MEEEEE

Yea it's funny only if you say it out loud. Writing "coming" might make the catch hard to get.

 

[salty mud]

Scary Movie?

 

[The Lemon]

Doctor: After many tests we figured out you have a deficiency in iron.

Patient: What!? That can't be possible. I eat a bowl of nails for breakfast everyday.

 

[e350tb]

Knock Knock.

Who's there?

The Taxman.

(Back door slams)

 

[Mise]

What do you call a guy with no shins?

Spoiler :

Tony.

 

[Catharsis]

What do you call a Frenchman in a Ferrari?

Spoiler :

Doesn't matter, because we've got the Olympics and they haven't.

 

[Angst]

What do you get when crossing a dog with a monkey?

Spoiler :

Nothing, the dog's seed is genetically unable to penetrate the monkey's egg, and vice versa, therefore making the deed impossible.