The Llamast Jokes Thread... 3

[<Nexus>]

Too bad my friend, Mark didn't get this joke.

 

[Uncle Sparky]

'Do not touch' must be the scariest thing to read in braille.

 

[Kyriakos]

 

[Gori the Grey]

Three deaf old ladies:

"It sure is windy."
"It's not Wednesday, it's Thursday."
"I'm thirsty too; let's stop somewhere for a drink."

 

[Uncle Sparky]

Apparently it isn't orange make-up...

It's TACO seasoning.

 

[dariusII]

I'm the only member of my family to have never kissed under the mistletoe.

So I've got that hanging over my head.

 

[Uncle Sparky]

Vegan: You know that animal you're eating probably had a family.

Me: Thank you, but I'm really not that hungry.

 

[dariusII]

Growing up, we lived in a tiny house with seven large looms in it.

We were a close-knit family.

 

[Uncle Sparky]

Growing up, we lived in a tiny house with seven large looms in it.

We were a close-knit family.

Is this why you're a knit-wit?

 

[Uncle Sparky]

If two mind readers read each other's mind at the same time, whose mind are they reading?

 

[dariusII]

Is this why you're a knit-wit?

Some believed I was a wit, until they realized I was only half of one.

 

[Samson]

What do you call the fanciest punctuation? An a-posh-trophe.

That joke won a prize, but they were kids who thought of it.

 

[Kyriakos]

Hm... Am I in a minority for not finding it to quite be worthy of an award?
Maybe "a posh trophy" could have been coupled with a pun (also) about trophies for enhanced effect.

 

[Gori the Grey]

They gave them a trophy but it started wasting a way.

 

[dariusII]

I still can't talk about all the times my mother would dress me as a ballerina.

It's tutu soon.

 

[Samson]

What do you call an alligator in a vest?

An investigator.

 

[Kyriakos]

What do you call an alligator in a vest?

An investigator.

In the same vein (but not quite as bad) as "what do you call a fish wearing a tie? Sophisticated".

 

[Uncle Sparky]

I still can't talk about all the times my mother would dress me as a ballerina.

It's tutu soon.

That's on point. You probably spent a lot of time at the bar.

 

[dariusII]

That's on point. You probably spent a lot of time at the bar.

It did allow me to get a leg up on things. A chance to look in the mirror and reflect.

 

[Gori the Grey]

And I suspect it has helped keep you on your toes.