The RNG Enlightenment Centre

[Meleager]

The RNG Enlightenment Centre

We have had only one official religion for long enough! After mentioning to certain members of the aristocracy certain things which could be written on a certain wall, we were able to raise enough funds to build this beautiful church *cough* enlightenment centre.

People, who wish to avoid eternal damnation, please leave your donations at the door - Thankyou.

History of the RNG Faith

Spoiler History :

Random-number-generatorus Peter the great
“The dice on which I shall build my philosophical ideology”
Peter was the first to see the enlightenment that the RNG had to offer. He was sitting at the beach when shells washed upon the shore randomly generated the words “You are the dice on which I shall build my philosophical ideology”. The message spread quickly. Unfortunately, Peter was soon killed during the doughnut invasion when a heavy doughnut randomly fell on him.

Random-number-generatorus Arthur the First
“I played lotto and won”
Scince Peter dies so quickly, I was up to Arthur I to fill certain gaps in our philosophy. Arthur would randomly pull doctrines out of his hat; ensuring a pure, random faith. The day Arthur I randomly won the lotto, he was randomly hit by lightning on a sunny day.

Random-number-generatorus Jonathan the Ninth
“you shall find only barbs until you worship me”
Jonathan IX randomly prophesied “Thou saith the RNG: ‘You shall find only barbs until you worship me with dancing fruit’”. And so the search for dancing tropical fruits began. They have not yet been found and as a result we have repeatedly popped barbs. Jonathan IX died when a meteorite randomly entered the earth’s atmosphere and struck him dead.

Random-number-generatorus Ben the Twenty-Seventh
The Heretic
Ben XXVII sought to make the RNG faith more acceptable to the RIK followers. He did this by introducing the doctrines of the Infinite Civ and the Civ Trinity. Such heresy broke the first commandment that Arthur I had pulled from his hat: “Thou shall worship only the RNG”. Not many random things happened during that time. Ben XXVII died at the ripe old age of 163.

Random-number-generatorus Meleagerster the First
Enlightenment Centre Builder
Meleagetster I caste out the heresies and returned the faith to its roots. He is also responsible for building this wonderful enlightenment centre. Meleagerster I is known for randomly finding coins and always getting 3 lux and a cow when he starts a game of civ.

Arnold
future random-number-govenator?
Whilst Meleagerster I is still alive, it is expected that Arnold will randomly succeed him. Arnold likes doctrines that involve anything beginning with “poly”.

The 10 Random Commandments of the RNG

Spoiler Commandments :

Randomly pulled from Arthur’s hat, the 10 commandments (in random order) are:

1. Thous shall worship only the RNG… and only on random days.

2. Thou shall decide all decisions by flipping a coin.

3. Thou shall randomly make holy war against a random enemy.

4. Thou shall east dancing fruit 3 times a day.

5. The more thee donates the greater the random chance yee has of avoiding eternal damnation.

6. Thou may pay their taxes randomly.

7. Thou shall randomly vote.

8. Thou shall watch their head for randomly falling objects.

9. Thou shall name the first head of randomly generated 2 headed animals after the RNG.

10. Thou shall become one with the random.

Good luck on your random paths. May the random be with you.



[size=-2]Note: The above text was randomly generated and the RNG enlightemnet association will randomly decide at a latter, random date weather it is truly random.[/size]

 

[peter grimes]

I will be sure to stop in here on random days, when I randomly have a spare moment... Much more my style that the State-Sponsored Religion of the Great Meleet: I loathe organized meetings and established norms of behavoir!

Cheers on the new Enlightenment Center! By any chance, is there an Observatory there? I'd be interested in examining the heavens for evidence of Intelligent Design (or noodly appendages)

 

[Meleager]

By any chance, is there an Observatory there? I'd be interested in examining the heavens for evidence of Intelligent Design (or noodly appendages)

Ohhh... Good idea. I shall have to bring that up at the next random meeting and we will draw straws to decide.

 

[Meleager]

Holy War!

The RIK followers have proclaimed Holy War!

nooooooooooooo... surely this is an act of agression against our place of most wonderful gathering. Jihad I say! we must hunt down these RNG like the infidels they are!

I cry Holy War!!!

Quick! Who is with me? We shall pay our soilders randomly but handsomly.

 

[fe3333au]

Dicemen are heretics and will be smited by the great and holy Meleet ... and you building used to house captive barbarians and beasts for the games ... Rik be praised

 

[Meleager]

No... People with long frocks and big sticks... chase him out of the sancturary... quickly before he can spread his words any furthur...

 

[azzaman333]

Llama! Random gods are fun.

 

[Meleager]

The First Random Sermon Of The RNG Enlightenment Centre

From the mouth of Random-number-generatorus Meleagerster the First:

"Hello, and welcome to this random assembly. I see that a random number of you have come.

Today I shall speak on: "How randomness can increase your finances."

The trick is easy. Take risks. Be random. 1 of either 2 things can happen.
1. You win. The lotto, stockmarket or whatever is all yours - congradulations, you are now rich
2. You lose. You are now bankcrupt but your money has contributed to the economy making us all richer.

See.... being random is good. Not even the RIK cultists can deny this logic.

Farwell, and may the random be with you always. "

Attached is some random money:

 

[rujikin]

This is intresting

Ill join, Yay to randomness *acticates a randomly*

 

[azzaman333]

American money is boring. Find money from some other random country! If fish i trust. Wait a sec... that shouldve been in RNG i trust.

 

[ybbor]

Lo and Behold I come bringing messages of deliverance! You have done evil in the eyes of Meleet! Repent! Repent! Repent I say to you! Do not be fooled by the temptations of randomness that threaten to consume you! Repent! Now! And Rik may have mercy on your soul, but only if done quickly! Meleet has seen in his infinite wisdom for us citizens of MIA to be separate from the barbarians that fall prey to the temptations of randomness! Are you any different than KISS? following whatever is presented as a sign of randomness? Repent!

May Meleet have mercy on your souls.

 

[azzaman333]

Seven is the number you will need to remember. When the time comes, you'll know why...

 

[Meleager]

Ha! You have been worshiping rik forever and what has it got you? Barbs, Barbs and More Barbs!

And if that doesn't convice you that the RNG is god then cosider this: We have a bigger church... so yeah!

 

[Meleager]

The first random assembly of the RNG Enlightenment Centre

The random heads of the Church had their first random meeting last night. Here are the random results:

Oh Great RNG: shall we build an observatory to look for signs of intellegent design (or noodly appendages)?
A: Yes
B: No

Oh Great RNG: shall we go to holy war against a random enemy?
A: Yes
B: No

Oh Great RNG: What colour would you like the tapestries for you inner sancurary to be?
A: Yellow
B: Green
C: Gold
D: Silver
E: Purple
F: Blue
G: Red
H: Orange
I: Other
J: I don't like tapestries

Oh Great RNG: Have we given enough money to be granted deleverance this month?
A: Yes
B: No
C: Deleverance is free this month, spend the money on chocolate

Oh Great RNG: Shall we declare the last day of september, the day your church was built, a public holiday?
A: Yes
B: No
C: Only for the RNG Followers
D: Only for the RIK Cultists (so they get drunk and the RNGers can rob them)

Oh Great RNG: will you please lift your barbarian curse off us?
A: Yes, I have pity on you
B: No, Where is my dancing fruit?

Interesting outcomes... looks like Grimesy gets his tellescope.

 

[peter grimes]

Good thing we don't have to research Optics before I build a telescope! I'll start searching out the finest sand from which to make the glass of the lenses. I was thinking the telescope could be mounted inside the dome over the main floor.. That OK?

Maybe we could also build a spyglass, and equip our fearless explorers with them on long voayges, the better to facilitate their search for Dancing Fruit (which I personally don't think exists)

Since more money is requested for the RNG, I suggest we start to levy an idiot tax Lottery!

 

[Kentharu]

today is a good day to be random
and here is the random sentence of this random day

is the more in the bucket down the hatch but never in my eye!!

this concludes the random sentence of this random day
now back to your random programming starting with Random Joy and followed hopefully by Random Dice Guy but you never know, cause its random!!

 

[Meleager]

Maybe we could also build a spyglass, and equip our fearless explorers with them on long voayges, the better to facilitate their search for Dancing Fruit (which I personally don't think exists)

How can you deny the existance of dancing fruit??

I have heard that dancing fruit can commonly be found in jungles.... and hides uned the guise of Tropical Fruit

 

[rujikin]

I say we rob a volcano in some random direction to get funds for the church, then we buy a bunch of random things at the nearest auction house (Or E-bay) for the church

Maby hang the toilets on the ceiling 8 feet up in the bathroom, turn the sinks upside down....

 

[azzaman333]

The RNG decided we should al eat an apple pie. I asked it myself...

 

[Meleager]

The RNG decided we should al eat an apple pie. I asked it myself...

see.... I told you all that the RNG was a god! It likes apple pie. I wonder about dancing pie