The Rules of Being a Man

[Brighteye]

If you make a fool of yourself you've just got to admit that you're not a real man. Real men aren't fools.

Perhaps you should define this thread more carefully, as examining the unspoken laws that real men instinctively follow, so that you avoid people saying that they follow no rules etc.

 

[Rambuchan]

If you make a fool of yourself you've just got to admit that you're not a real man. Real men aren't fools.

I disagree. For many years now I've lived with the following motto and it works a dream: "A wise man knows he is being a fool, a fool does not." You can see that some (who get the idea of the thread) fall into the first category, whereas others (who "abide by no rules") fall into the second.

Perhaps you should define this thread more carefully, as examining the unspoken laws that real men instinctively follow, so that you avoid people saying that they follow no rules etc.

Nah, that'd take the fun of it.

 

[soul_warrior]

~ Action Movies
~ Porno Movies
~ Horror Movies
~ Arthouse Movies
~ TV addiction

Action - one may watch these as much as needed. one will NOT watch with females, UNLESS asked by said female to watch the movie. proceed to make SURE it is indeed a female asking!
One may be as loud as needed, according to the level of action.
Action can be enjoyed solo (for closer scrutiny of action sequences) or in company

Porn - Shall be consumed as a prequel to the proper deed.
Can be used without female companionship, but must have several witnesses!
Can be seen as much as needed.

Horror - prefered company should include, but is NOT limited to girls.
nancy boys accepted aswell.
Thou shall remain silent and unflinching in the face of utmost horror!
Especially if any females are present!
the ONLY feeling you may show will be limited to comments on the "makeup effects", "plot credibility" and "acting skills"
You may shed a single tear when the guy with the axe gets axed.

ArtHouse - fellow viewer are LIMITED to: females. nancyboys. film-art students.
you must be able to argue about the effects of the windmills in japanese 70s film noir flick for 30+ minutes to qualify for viewing with your mates.

TV Addiction - free for all.
female companionship advised for sitcoms and silly hospital stuff.
mini series are subject to the above film rules.
actions series and 80s ones are FOR MATES ONLY!
females are NOT able to fully appriciate the intraquete value of YOUNG ONES, Dr Who or Star Trek!

 

[Brighteye]

If you want to watch a film, and you have a girl, it should be an action film. I disagree with the ban on having girls at action films. When you and your girl watch a film it should always be an action film, with the occasional horror film thrown in if you decide to be generous.

As for artsy films, aren't nancy boys and film-art students the same thing?

 

[Dann]

You may shed a single tear when the guy with the axe gets axed.

10 chars

 

[Rambuchan]

You may shed a single tear when the guy with the axe gets axed.

Sounds like a slippery slope towards listening to Man-O-War, if you ask me. I'd err on the side of manly stoicism here too.

 

[soul_warrior]

If you want to watch a film, and you have a girl, it should be an action film. I disagree with the ban on having girls at action films.

wrong.
you should be WILLING TO ALLOW girls to witness cinematic genius.

When you and your girl watch a film it should always be an action film, with the occasional horror film thrown in if you decide to be generous.

Agreed.
our purpose in life is to strive for enlightenment.
there are several ways to get there.
one is through teaching the ignorant.
the second involves some biology classes, easily learnt if the female is bored (out of an ignorant haze if view of Chuck's Genius KICK)

As for artsy films, aren't nancy boys and film-art students the same thing?

for the most part they are.
but not all.
you should add a note - Video Store workers are exempt of ALL said rules.
they have little life as is, we should have some mercy in our souls...

 

[Rambuchan]

My take:

~ Action Movies: Good for getting the lads together, necking beers, roaring like carnivorous predators, and appreciating good gore and explosions. Good for getting ladies to cower in horror - thereby needing some soothing and reassurance.

~ Porno Movies: Good for giving the GF some ideas

~ Horror Movies: See action movies, with extra emphasis on the last line.

~ Arthouse Movies: Depends on the femme. I'm a fan of these films and with the right lady watching them by your side, it can only be positive. You're likely to bore the crap out of some chicks though.

~ TV addiction: Oh god, where to start!? "Friends", "Sex in the City" etc should be considered as chick flicks imho. Stay clear and see them as an opportunity if they do creeep up. When it comes to sporting events, just convert your enhanced testosterone into stallionness when re-united with the fairer half of your relationship.

As for artsy films, aren't nancy boys and film-art students the same thing?

You filthy little troller you!

 

[soul_warrior]

Sounds like a slippery slope towards listening to Man-O-War, if you ask me. I'd err on the side of manly stoicism here too.

it takes a real man to admit he likes Man-O-War

Spoiler :

but it also takes one to avoid it.
ill opt for option B.

 

[Brighteye]

You filthy little troller you!

I'm sorry to have been so insulting. I apologise for implying that you're a film-art student.

 

[Brighteye]

Real men don't become depressed.
Real men worship no-one; when they claim worship, it's jokingly, about a good action actor.

(from other threads)

 

[mrtn]

~ Action Movies: Beer, chips and the occasional scream of "Yeah, hit 'im were it hurts, man!"
~ Porno Movies: You don't need to know how the cable repair guy gets to know the blonds, you must Fast Forward to the juicy bits. Those "getting to know them" parts remind of chick flicks.
~ Horror Movies: As others have said, you're that shoulder to cling to.
~ Arthouse Movies: If you can't go on about "I see this as a symbol for man's degeneration in the 20th century" for thirty minutes after the film, this isn't for you.
~ TV addiction: Only sports, old humour and war documentaries allowed. And maybe an Aussie molesting crocs once in a while.

 

[Whomp]

It seems we have a general global consensus on movie watching. As representative of The Monsters of the Midway (M.O.M) contingent of real men I agree with the Stockholm mrtn's, DowntownMB's, Dann's of chick avatars , Brighteye's of Oxford and Soul Jive Dudes with tats galore...
However...

Arthouse Movies: Depends on the femme. I'm a fan of these films and with the right lady watching them by your side, it can only be positive. You're likely to bore the crap out of some chicks though.

Extremely suspect. This needs to be studied further.

~ TV addiction: Oh god, where to start!? "Friends", "Sex in the City" etc should be considered as chick flicks imho. Stay clear and see them as an opportunity if they do creeep up. When it comes to sporting events, just convert your enhanced testosterone into stallionness when re-united with the fairer half of your relationship.

A second television in another room should be required to avoid all contact with such shows.

To reiterate, Rule 18 will never be recognized as a rule by the Monsters of the Midway Chicago contingent of real men. Football is football according to real men.

 

[GinandTonic]

Have we touched upon coffee? Clearly there is a sliding scale of masculinity in coffee. While quantity can edge you back towards the macho end of the scale the key is strength. At the hombre end is only drinking the mud at the bottom of Turkish/Greek coffee, while ordering a latte is tantamount to wearing a tutu.

Milk and sugar clearly slide towards the gloria Gaynor end of the spectrum...

 

[BaneBlade]

Real men dont eat quiche.

I even cook it myself. Time to join the GayPride parade, eh?
Another unspoken(and wrong) assumption:
Men want sex every second, 24/7. And they can do it, ever, under any circumstances.

 

[Brighteye]

Have we touched upon coffee? Clearly there is a sliding scale of masculinity in coffee.

Real men drink ale. Or spirits. They may also drink water if thirsty. Coffee itself is a notch down the scale.

 

[Dann]

Perhaps. But coffee is necessary to bring our brains back to functionality after last night's alcohol overdoes. Some of us have to work ya know.

My personal recommendation is espresso by the mug but with no dilution in strength. Sugar optional. No milk ever.

 

[Mise]

Espresso is a sissy drink. The mugs are so teeny tiny! Sure they make you FEEL like a big man when you're holding them, but really you're just a Europansy in a Wendy house.

 

[GenMarshall]

Men want sex every second, 24/7. And they can do it, ever, under any circumstances.

I am sorry to say, but that is not quite true. Not all men want sex every second at every wakeing moment. This is the kind of thinking that women protrays men as pigs who think nothing about sex.

 

[Dann]

Espresso is a sissy drink. The mugs are so teeny tiny! Sure they make you FEEL like a big man when you're holding them, but really you're just a Europansy in a Wendy house.

I said by the mug - beer mugs. Not those tiny things you're thinking of!