Rambuchan
The Funky President
Those of you who have seen the Karate Kid movies will no doubt know of Mr Miyagi. Here's some pictorial memory assistance for you anyway:

In this image he is (allegedly) training the young karate kid's reflexes by teaching him to catch flies with chopsticks. However, a recent re-appraisal by some friends and I of this character, a veritable 1980s cult hero, has unearthed 'the shocking truth'. Or is it? Let me list a few of the techniques that Mr Miyagi used to train the young karate kid:
1 ~ "Wax on, Wax off": Perhaps the most famed of all his catch phrases, this accompanied a training exercise to a) build forearm muscles and b) teach an important parrying movement. These two lessons were imparted by getting the karate kid to wax his car.
2 ~ Hammering a nail into a garden fence - in one hit: Pretty much what it says. To teach the karate kid forceful, focussed power, Mr Miyagi got him to hammer nails into his garden fence.
3 ~ Sanding his decking: A sort of synthesis of the two above, this imparted to the karate kid a) forearm muscle toning, b) parrying movements and c) endurance.
4 ~ Catching flies with chopsticks: This has been explained above already.
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Now many will say that these techniques, whilst being unorthodox, were couched in a deep wisdom and subtly brought crucial martial arts lessons into the young fighter's mind. However, a recent (pub based) appraisal of Mr Miyagi with my friends lead us to an altogether new view of Mr Miyagi (a one time hero of mine). Let me re-list the training activities, alongside the real objective:
1 ~ "Wax on, Wax off":To get Mr Miyagi's car waxed, because he couldn't be arsed to do it himself.
2 ~ Hammering a nail into a garden fence - in one hit: To get Mr Miyagi's fence mended, because he couldn't be arsed to do it himself.
3 ~ Sanding his decking: To get Mr Miyagi's decking sanded, because he couldn't be arsed to do it himself.
4 ~ Catching flies with chopsticks: To rid Mr Miyagi's house of flies, because he....I think you get the picture by now.
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So now, please vote in this all important poll, to register your view of this great (or lazy?) man.

In this image he is (allegedly) training the young karate kid's reflexes by teaching him to catch flies with chopsticks. However, a recent re-appraisal by some friends and I of this character, a veritable 1980s cult hero, has unearthed 'the shocking truth'. Or is it? Let me list a few of the techniques that Mr Miyagi used to train the young karate kid:
1 ~ "Wax on, Wax off": Perhaps the most famed of all his catch phrases, this accompanied a training exercise to a) build forearm muscles and b) teach an important parrying movement. These two lessons were imparted by getting the karate kid to wax his car.
2 ~ Hammering a nail into a garden fence - in one hit: Pretty much what it says. To teach the karate kid forceful, focussed power, Mr Miyagi got him to hammer nails into his garden fence.
3 ~ Sanding his decking: A sort of synthesis of the two above, this imparted to the karate kid a) forearm muscle toning, b) parrying movements and c) endurance.
4 ~ Catching flies with chopsticks: This has been explained above already.
-------
Now many will say that these techniques, whilst being unorthodox, were couched in a deep wisdom and subtly brought crucial martial arts lessons into the young fighter's mind. However, a recent (pub based) appraisal of Mr Miyagi with my friends lead us to an altogether new view of Mr Miyagi (a one time hero of mine). Let me re-list the training activities, alongside the real objective:
1 ~ "Wax on, Wax off":To get Mr Miyagi's car waxed, because he couldn't be arsed to do it himself.
2 ~ Hammering a nail into a garden fence - in one hit: To get Mr Miyagi's fence mended, because he couldn't be arsed to do it himself.
3 ~ Sanding his decking: To get Mr Miyagi's decking sanded, because he couldn't be arsed to do it himself.
4 ~ Catching flies with chopsticks: To rid Mr Miyagi's house of flies, because he....I think you get the picture by now.
-------
So now, please vote in this all important poll, to register your view of this great (or lazy?) man.