Without knowing what the alleged trends are, all I can say is that games change a lot in an intervening 20 year period. For western RPGs a good example are the games released by Spiderweb Software - a one man studio that has been making RPGs since 1993. The mechanics of those games have changed a lot, going from very "hard-core" mechanics (like no automap or quest indicators, no regenerating health, character decisions concentrated at the beginning, permadeath, etc) to much more "streamlined" mechanics (automap and quest markers, out of combat health regen, spreading character decisions out over the course of the game, etc). He has talked in his blog about this and explained that many of the "traditional" mechanics don't really facilitate the core of RPGs which is exploring and advancing the story but instead only provide roadblocks.
WRPGs have borrowed some JRPG elements, like cutscenes and increased focus on character relations, but that is about it.
JRPGs, because they have traditionally been console-focused, have generally been rather insular and since I'm not very familiar with JRPGs, I can't really comment on what cross-pollination has occurred with them. (Plus, Japanese games as a whole tend to be rather insular.)
In other words, a JRPG today is likely to have more similarity in mechanics and styles with a JRPG released 20 years ago than a comparison between two WRPGs, but does that mean anything? Unless your friends telling you these things can say why we should care about these things, you can safely ignore them.
Think about the differences between Rogue 1 and Murnau's Nosferatu. There is very little similar between the two and by the standards of Nosferatu, Rogue 1 is not a very traditional film but in no way does that mean Rogue 1 is a bad film. It only tells us that styles have changed.