ADditional, since the vastb majority of posters won't be familiar with Yes (Prime) Minister, I'll post a link and some quotes.
You can watch video clips here:
http://www.yes-minister.com/introduc.htm
Quotes:
ECONOMY DRIVE
"The argument that we must do everything a Minister demands because he has been 'democratically chosen' does not stand up to close inspection. MPs are not chosen by 'the people' - they are chosen by their local constituency parties: thirty-five men in grubby raincoats or thirty-five women in silly hats. The further 'selection' process is equally a nonsense: there are only 630 MPs and a party with just over 300 MPs forms a government and of these 300, 100 are too old and too silly to be ministers and 100 too young and too callow. Therefore there are about 100 MPs to fill 100 government posts. Effectively no choice at all."
THE DEVIL YOU KNOW
"The Common Market: We went into it to screw the French by splitting them off from the Germans. The French went in to protect their inefficient farmers from commercial competition. The Germans went in to purge themselves of genocide and apply for readmission to the human race."
JOBS FOR THE BOYS
"The Official Secrets Act is not to protect secrets, it is to protect officials."
"The perfect representative on a government committee is a disabled black Welsh woman trades unionist."
"Conjurors offer the audience any card in the pack and always get them to take the one they want. This is the way we in the Civil Service get Ministers to take decisions."
PARTY GAMES
"'The Government's position' means 'the best explanation of past events that cannot be disproved by available facts'."
A REAL PARTNERSHIP
"There was nothing wrong with appeasement. All that World War Two achieved after six years was to leave Eastern Europe under a Communist dictatorship instead of a Fascist dictatorship. That's what comes of not listening to the Foreign Office."
"Britain should always be on the side of law and justice, so long as we don't allow it to affect our foreign policy."
"Diplomacy is about surviving to the next century. Politics is about surviving until Friday afternoon."
"The public aren't interested in foreign affairs. All they want to know is who are the goodies and who are the baddies."
THE SMOKE SCREEN
"The history of the world is the history of the triumph of the heartless over the mindless."
THE BISHOP'S GAMBIT
"Theology is a device for helping agnostics to stay within the Church of England."
ONE OF US
"If you believe the security of the realm is at risk you don't hold a security enquiry, you call in the Special Branch. Government security enquiries are only used for killing press stories."
A CONFLICT OF INTEREST
Jim Hacker: "Don't tell me about the press. I know exactly who reads the papers:
- The Daily Mirror is read by people who think they run the country;
- The Guardian is read by people who think they ought to run the country;
- The Times is read by people who actually do run the country;
- The Daily Mail is read by the wives of the people who run the country;
- The Financial Times is read by people who own the country;
- The Morning Star is read by people who think the country ought to be run by another country;
- And the Daily Telegraph is read by people who think it is."
Sir Humphrey: "Prime Minister, what about the people who read the Sun?"
Bernard Woolley: "Sun readers don't care who runs the country, as long as she's got big tits."
DIALOGUES
Humphrey (Head of the civil zervice): Nuclear weapons are there to make people believe that Britain is defended.
Bernard (other civil servant): The Russians?
Humphrey: No, not the Russians, the British. The Russians know it's not.
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Prime Minister Jim Hacker: "Well, of course we do what we can. There are many calls on the public purse: inner cities, schools, hospitals, kidney machines..."
Actress one: "...tanks..."
Actress two: "...rockets..."
Actress three: "...H-bombs..."
Jim Hacker: "Well, we can't really defend ourselves against the Russians with a performance of Henry V."
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Jim Hacker: "Math has become politicized: If it costs 5 billion pounds a year to maintain Britain's nuclear defences and 75 pounds a year to feed a starving African child, how many African children can be saved from starvation if the Ministry of Defence abandoned nuclear weapons?"
Sir Humphrey: "That's easy: none. They'd spend it all on conventional weapons."
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Jim Hacker: "Well, anyway. Why are we bugging Hugh Halifax? Is he talking to the Russians?"
Sir Humphrey: "No, the French actually. That's much more serious."
Jim Hacker: "Why?"
Bernard Woolley: "The Russians already know what we are doing."
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Sir Arnold: "I presume the Prime Minister is in favour of this scheme because it will reduce unemployment?"
Sir Humphrey: "Well, it looks as if he's reducing unemployment."
Sir Arnold: "Or looks as if he's trying to reduce unemployment."
Sir Humphrey: "While as in reality he's only trying to look as if he's trying to reduce unemployment."
Sir Arnold: "Yes, because he's worried that it does not look as if he's trying to look as if he's trying to reduce unemployment."
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Sir Humphrey: "With Trident we could obliterate the whole of Eastern Europe."
Jim Hacker: "I don't want to obliterate the whole of Eastern Europe."
Sir Humphrey: "It's a deterrent."
Jim Hacker: "It's a bluff. I probably wouldn't use it."
Sir Humphrey: "Yes, but they don't know that you probably wouldn't."
Jim Hacker: "They probably do."
Sir Humphrey: "Yes, they probably know that you probably wouldn't. But they can't certainly know."
Jim Hacker: "They probably certainly know that I probably wouldn't."
Sir Humphrey: "Yes, but even though they probably certainly know that you probably wouldn't, they don't certainly know that, although you probably wouldn't, there is no probability that you certainly would."
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Sir Humphrey: "You know what happens: nice young lady comes up to you. Obviously you want to create a good impression, you don't want to look a fool, do you? So she starts asking you some questions: Mr. Woolley, are you worried about the number of young people without jobs?"
Bernard Woolley: "Yes"
Sir Humphrey: "Are you worried about the rise in crime among teenagers?"
Bernard Woolley: "Yes"
Sir Humphrey: "Do you think there is a lack of discipline in our Comprehensive schools?"
Bernard Woolley: "Yes"
Sir Humphrey: "Do you think young people welcome some authority and leadership in their lives?"
Bernard Woolley: "Yes"
Sir Humphrey: "Do you think they respond to a challenge?"
Bernard Woolley: "Yes"
Sir Humphrey: "Would you be in favour of reintroducing National Service?"
Bernard Woolley: "Oh...well, I suppose I might be."
Sir Humphrey: "Yes or no?"
Bernard Woolley: "Yes"
Sir Humphrey: "Of course you would, Bernard. After all you told you can't say no to that. So they don't mention the first five questions and they publish the last one."
Bernard Woolley: "Is that really what they do?"
Sir Humphrey: "Well, not the reputable ones no, but there aren't many of those. So alternatively the young lady can get the opposite result."
Bernard Woolley: "How?"
Sir Humphrey: "Mr. Woolley, are you worried about the danger of war?"
Bernard Woolley: "Yes"
Sir Humphrey: "Are you worried about the growth of armaments?"
Bernard Woolley: "Yes"
Sir Humphrey: "Do you think there is a danger in giving young people guns and teaching them how to kill?"
Bernard Woolley: "Yes"
Sir Humphrey: "Do you think it is wrong to force people to take up arms against their will?"
Bernard Woolley: "Yes"
Sir Humphrey: "Would you oppose the reintroduction of National Service?"
Bernard Woolley: "Yes"
Sir Humphrey: "There you are, you see Bernard. The perfect balanced sample."
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Sir Humphrey: "Bernard, what is the purpose of our defence policy?"
Bernard Woolley: "To defend Britain."
Sir Humphrey: "No, Bernard. It is to make people believe Britain is defended."
Bernard Woolley: "The Russians?"
Sir Humphrey: "Not the Russians, the British! The Russians know it is not."
Jim Hacker: "Humphrey, who is it who has the last word about the government of Britain? The British Cabinet or the American President?"
Sir Humphrey: "You know that is a fascinating question. We often discuss it."
Jim Hacker: "And what conclusion have you arrived at?"
Sir Humphrey: "Well, I must admit to be a bit of a heretic. I think it is the British Cabinet. But I know I am in the minority.
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On Yes Prime Minister
"Required viewing for politicians and leading civil servants. When it is screened it often empties the Chamber."
- Daily Mail
"An accurate and unexaggerated guide to the way the British government works."
- Enoch Powell, MP, The Guardian
"It's closely observed portrayal of what goes on in the corridors of power has given me hours of pure joy."
- Margaret Thatcher, quoted in the Daily Telegraph
