What Happens Next?

[Stuck in Pi]

who killed himself.

 

[D0NIMATRIX]

Causing his wife to shed tears of beer and...

 

[Daftpanzer]

... she collected and sold this beer in order to get enough money to build a monument to honour her dead husband.

 

[Stylesrj]

With this death of the husband though, the rest of the fortress was upset. With the lack of bedding, good booze (seriously, beer tears were not in the dwarves favourites) and good dining areas, the entire fort was brought into a state of tantrum. Dwarves destroyed the whole fort and then Goblins came in to attack, with Beak Dogs and Trolls...

 

[D0NIMATRIX]

Made of styrofoam. Since they often died, the EPA came in and neutralized the whole place for endangering the environment. This caused the survivors to...

 

[Endwar 005]

Make lots of pasta, which made the kittens...

 

[Stylesrj]

...angry. Calling upon the Carp for assistance, the kittens marched towards the fortress. The Carp were happy to comply with the kittens. Any opportunity to nibble dwarves to death was a welcome opportunity. The combined forces arrived at the gates of the fort, only to find...

 

[Daftpanzer]

... it empty. Where had all the dwarves gone? Then, a shadowy figure emerged from the shadowy shadows, and spoke thus in a shadowy voice...

 

[D0NIMATRIX]

"Would you like to purchase home insurance?"

The kittens and carp were terrified, and surrendered their weapons, but in that instant hundreds of hidden dwarves swooped in and...

 

[Stylesrj]

...got the Carp and kittens to invest in GEICO

While they were investing and saving money while doing so, the dwarves began their attack. However, because the kittens and Carp saved money, they managed to fight back. A long and bloody battle ensued, but the side that won the battle was the...

 

[Stuck in Pi]

nuclear warheads. Turns out, Forerunners had laid nuclear mines there, and a dwarf stepped on one of them. The planet split in two.

 

[Leeksoup]

The nuclear bombs were placed in just the right spots so that, in a one-in-a-billion chance, the planet actually split into an 'outer' toroidal donut ring and an 'inner' regular planet with about 600 miles of open space between them. The inner planet's people were peaceful and technologically advanced, due to the pleasant climate, while the outer planet's people were backwards and violent, due to the harsh winters and conditions on the outer world. Suddenly...

 

[Stylesrj]

The Swedes set up an Ikea in the backwards area. The people were confused by all the Swedish stuff, but soon after time with Alan wrenches and following that blob thing, they built a table. It's name was Ingo. They also built a ladder. His friends called him Karl...

 

[D0NIMATRIX]

Marx. He preached communism to all the remaining dwarves, and they...

 

[Daftpanzer]

... they began to construct a great tower, really a bridge, to connect both parts of the divided planet, and spread their socialist ideals to all men and beasts, by brute force if neccessary...

 

[Stylesrj]

...however, when you buy a tower off Ikea, you have excess parts and that blob thing does not tell you much on how it's built. The dwarves were confused as they had no idea why there were excess parts. They looked important, but if you assembled the tower ,for some reason they were not included. Angered by Ikea, they began their trip out of the store. However they had no idea where the exit was and they began to plan their exit, somehow by drawing up plans on a catalogue, using a free pen and using Ingo as a surface...

 

[D0NIMATRIX]

so that they could construct a giant drill to get out using the spare parts. However...

 

[D'Artagnan59]

I found the Uber-Secret Exit out of it. I got out before they found the exit.

 

[Stuck in Pi]

Except that anti-tank mines were planted there. You die.

 

[D0NIMATRIX]

The dwarves heard the explosion and escaped through the now-safe passage...