What if Donald Trump were in place of Alexander the Great at Gaugamela

[Archbob]

Lets say that God wanted to screw around with history a bit and he time-traveled Donald Trump back to the night before the battle of Guagamela(where Alexander Pwned Darius III, destroying the Persian Empire and declared himself Lord of Europe and Asia). So instead of Alexander leading his armies the next day, you have Donald Trump leading the Macedonian Greek Armies against the massive forces of Darius III.

How would this turn out? Would he be utterly crushed by the Persian Immortals or would we be singing the praises of Donald Trump the Magnificient these days? And how would the different result of the battle effect the rest of history.

Also, since they swapped places, Alexander the Great is now president of the United States. How would that work out?

 

[warpus]

I mean Trump doesn't speak ancient Greek so they would just assume he's crazy I guess and the Persians would win.

Assuming he could speak ancient Greek, he would probably say something stupid and the Persians would win.

 

[Archbob]

Lets just say language isn't a problem.

 

[Evie]

I'd suspect, assuming Donald gets to take the lead, that he weakens his center overcomitting against the Persian flanking maneuvers, thus lacking the strength and ability to deliver Alexander's decisive attack against the center.

Whether that translate to Donald winning the fight or not...that's harder to forecast, though getting bogged down in a more attrition-based fight on the wings vastly advantages the more numerous Persians.

 

[Arakhor]

Are we assuming that Trump is granted basic awareness of ancient battle tactics as well? I can't imagine it doing much good either way, but still.

 

[Ajidica]

Probably gets executed by the Greeks as an evil wizard because the charismatic general Alexander got replaced by a flabby, orange, property developer who often appears to struggle in finishing his sentences.

 

[Arakhor]

Struggling with sentence pacing didn't hurt William Shatner's career.

 

[Ajidica]

Struggling with sentence pacing didn't hurt William Shatner's career.

Eventually Shatner would complete a sentence.

 

[Perfection]

MAKE ALEXANDER GREAT AGAIN

 

[GoodSarmatian]

The night before the battle he would have dissolve the League of Corinth, then he'd go back to Egypt to renegotiate because being officially a demigod was a bad deal.

 

[Timsup2nothin]

Immediate field promotion for Hephaestion.

 

[Kyriakos]

Trump more likely would have been a citizen of Sybarite*, and die in the attack by Croton.

*italian colony, known for its citizens being fat, rich, and lazy.

 

[Zelig]

Are we assuming that Trump is granted basic awareness of ancient battle tactics as well? I can't imagine it doing much good either way, but still.

Assume equivalent to his knowledge of modern battle tactics.

 

[bernie14]

president alexander? either imprisoned immediately or.....can you say...... the United Continents of America?

 

[FriendlyFire]

Died by overeating and overdrinking the night before.
That or hes bone spurs would have prevented him from leading from the front, he would be safe at home in Macedonia commanding via messangers

 

[Arakhor]

Assume equivalent to his knowledge of modern battle tactics.

Well, that's likely to be a disaster then!

 

[Akka]

I'd say it would go bad for both.

Obviously, Trump would lose Gaugamela, and he would be completely unfit for actual real leadership.
As for Alexander, he was a genius but also a megalomaniac, and I think he would have big trouble to manage being constrained by "lesser men" and all this "constitutional nonsense". But he was incredibly charismatic and was used to the less-than-ceremonial culture of Greeks, so he MIGHT be able to pull it off, if he manages to not fall into a nervous breakdown before.

 

[Leoreth]

Whatever happens, the next day we get self-indulgent news articles about rust belt Republicans who affirm that it's exactly why they voted for Trump.

 

[Tahuti]

Trump as stand in for Alexander: Zoroastrianism becomes the world religion. Donald Trump is remembered as Ahriman in the flesh.
Alexander as stand in for Trump: Is proclaimed Jewish messiah for invading and conquering Iran.

 

[Thorgalaeg]

Trump being a fat old useless twitterless fool, would be murdered in a conspiracy lead by his wife/son or some general in a couple of hours.

Alexander would get instantly mad after seeing our horseless chariot and flying triremes.