When is it "cheating" in a relationship?

[Rhymes]

It's not about what specific action, it's about betrayal of trust and breaching what is expected. There are no rules that work for all relationships.

Impressive coming from you

I agree, cheating is only going to far according to the other's limits and expectations.

For my own couple, cheating is defined by "having sex more then once with another person" and relations involving emotions.
Ok .. not yet but I'm working on it........

 

[mdwh]

Cheating is when you do something you agreed to not do, it's not defined by some particular act (after all, some people have sex and even multiple relationships, and it's not cheating and everyone's okay with it).

Or, you should ask your partner, and not do a poll on a forum answered by people you're not going out with.

A better question might be: What things would you not want your partner to do?

 

[sourboy]

Or, you should ask your partner, and not do a poll on a forum answered by people you're not going out with.

A better question might be: What things would you not want your partner to do?

Again, I know where I stand (and to answer your question - it should theoretically be the same for her/us), this is to gauge my/our position vs the mass.

 

[GenMarshall]

When your girlfriend is flirting with some other guy.

Yeah I know, but I have very low tolerance on being cheated on. I've been through it and I have been hurt by it.

 

[Stylesjl]

It's not about what specific action, it's about betrayal of trust and breaching what is expected. There are no rules that work for all relationships.

Spot on!

 

[Shylock]

When she can see you coming through walls and can win every argument effortlessly.

 

[Narz]

In the words of Fifty Cent - kissing, touching, licking or ****ing

Flirting is fine, I do it all the time. Shoot, I'd be flirting right now but unfortunately this thread appears to be 100% male so far. Well, except Perfection but she's already taken.

Edit : and Lucy, but she hasn't posted in the member pic thread yet. oh, and Sophie, hey baby!

 

[Stylesrj]

Voted for the wrong option. I'll go with Other. It depends on what your partner can tolerate and what you can tolerate. Could be sex or it could be kissing, it's about tolerance

 

[Perfection]

Flirting is fine

Even if your partnet doesn't like it?

 

[Bamspeedy]

Flirting with someone else

As long as there is not a deeper motive behind the flirting it should be ok. And as long as when the flirting is happening you aren't ignoring your partner. If you get so carried away with the flirting that you forget your partner is there because you are giving so much more attention to this other person, that is a problem.

Dirty talk/pics

This is teetering on the edge for me. There would be more things to take into consideration, though. How likely is it that the two involved will have a chance to be alone together where it could lead to something more?

Kissing/touching

Cheating, unless it was something innocent like a kiss on the cheek or a hug. It is pretty easy to tell the difference between a hug given between friends and a more intimate hug between lovers.

 

[boarder]

Other...When you are doing something that the other person wouldnt approve of and wouldnt tell her without any guilt.

 

[Tee Kay]

Ok so I'm not an expert so just skip this post.

You chose to read on. That's good. Here's what I think: couples should agree before hand what they can or can't do in the relationship. So I consider "cheating" to be doing what's you're not meant to do in the agreement with the other partner. It's not defined by a particular act since it's depends on what the partners agree on. But of course some people don't have any kind of agreement before committing to a relationship or that the agreement doesn't cover everything and that's where to line becomes a bit vague. In that case then the partners need to sort out the mess for themselves.

 

[Leifmk]

Cheating is when you do something you agreed to not do, it's not defined by some particular act

The only correct answer! A relationship and the rules that define it is a matter for those who are involved in it.

 

[Brighteye]

It's not about what specific action, it's about betrayal of trust and breaching what is expected. There are no rules that work for all relationships.

If your partner would be signifigantly upset if (s)he knew it happened, it's cheating. It's different with every couple.

Cheating has nothing to do with whether your partner would be upset. My partner can decide that cheating is when I walk out of my front door, but if that makes her upset then I'm still going to do it.
Add me to the list of people who think that cheating is doing something that you have agreed not to do.

 

[Golden Touch]

its a fine line isnt it!? for me i'm gonna say flirting is absolutely fine, its all good banter and god knows I'm a shocking flirt but it doesnt mean I have the intent to do anything. but filthy SECRET texts, sending each other filth photos, meeting in secret shows the intent to cheat - whether or not you have the self control to resist. as long as its all open then fine, but if your keeping it a secret from your partner then its for a good reason...

 

[Grisu]

Hmm, I'd be annoyed if my partner did the first two, but I wouldn't consider them 'cheating'

when it comes to kissing, it's definately cheating in my book and would most likely finish our relationship.

but yeah, the definition of 'cheat' is very flexible and differs from couple to couple (I mean if you agree beforehand that meeting other people is ok, then that's obviously not cheating)

oh, and kissing as part of a greeting is obviously not cheating either.I assume with kissing you meant the type of kiss usually reserved for your partner.

 

[Fugitive Sisyphus]

In the words of Fifty Cent - kissing, touching, licking or ****ing

Flirting is fine, I do it all the time. Shoot, I'd be flirting right now but unfortunately this thread appears to be 100% male so far. Well, except Perfection but she's already taken.

Edit : and Lucy, but she hasn't posted in the member pic thread yet. oh, and Sophie, hey baby!

That's is pretty much my view in the matter. I don't consider flirting to be cheating because I enjoy flirting by making the most insane innuendo at every opportunity with just about anyone.

Then again there is flirting and then there is FLIRTING.

 

[Cheezy the Wiz]

It's not about what specific action, it's about betrayal of trust and breaching what is expected. There are no rules that work for all relationships.

Absolutely. It's silly to think you can create a blanket rule for something as subjective as trust.

 

[Bozo Erectus]

When is it "cheating" in a relationship

When you lie.

 

[LucyDuke]

Edit : and Lucy, but she hasn't posted in the member pic thread yet. oh, and Sophie, hey baby!

Don't be so encouraging... now I know what I'd be signing up for.

Cheating has nothing to do with whether your partner would be upset. My partner can decide that cheating is when I walk out of my front door, but if that makes her upset then I'm still going to do it.
Add me to the list of people who think that cheating is doing something that you have agreed not to do.

If your partner decides that when you walk out the front door, you're cheating, then your relationship has some serious issues. And as for agreeing, do you really need to have a discussion about it to know you shouldn't be taking your clothes off with other people? In a healthy relationship, your partner respects you enough to not freak out about things that don't threaten your relationship, but you respect your partner enough not to do the things that shouldn't, but do, upset him/her.