Who wants a not-so-super power?

[Zkribbler]

1] Age backwards. These days, the only way I can touch the floor without bending my knees is to fall out of bed.

2] I would like the not-so-superpower of being able to watch the news without getting depressed.

 

[amadeus]

Hi, amadeus, I got this coupon when I opened this thread:

I formally state that I would like to redeem this coupon.

Since you stated it formally, your power will be similarly granted.

You are cordially invited to become
The Rotarian​

You may now have the power to make charge-free telephone calls provided your or the receiver’s telephone operates on a rotary-dial mechanism.

 

[Takhisis]

You say ‘or’. What if both of us operate such devices? Are rotary cellphones included?

 

[El_Machinae]

I'm trying to figure out how expensive it would be for Hygro to insulate my attic if I gave him pennies and we changed it to a paper currency. A lot has to go right, it needs to be the smallest currency and worth many-to-the-penny.

 

[amadeus]

You say ‘or’. What if both of us operate such devices? Are protary cellphones included?

Your link sends me to a 404 page. It was missing the last “p” on the URL. New link.

The “or” is an “and/or” for all practical purposes. Yes, you may build a cellular phone with a rotary mechanism—a friend of mine converted an old Western Electric phone to do just that.

I'm trying to figure out how expensive it would be for Hygro to insulate my attic if I gave him pennies and we changed it to a paper currency. A lot has to go right, it needs to be the smallest currency and worth many-to-the-penny.

Wouldn’t regular insulation just be cheaper?

 

[Takhisis]

Your link sends me to a 404 page. It was missing the last “p” on the URL. New link.

I have now edited the link to make it work.

The “or” is an “and/or” for all practical purposes. Yes, you may build a cellular phone with a rotary mechanism—a friend of mine converted an old Western Electric phone to do just that.

Thank you, kind sir.

Rotary mechanisms are awesome. I grew up with such a telephone and still am unburdened by a mobile telephone device.

 

[The_J]

++++++++++++++++++++
+ _EXCLUSIVE OFFER +
+ __FROM _AMADEUS_ +
+ _THIS COUPON EN- +
+ TITLES _YOU TO 1 +
+ FREE NOT-SO SUP- +
+ ER _POWER _TO BE +
+ _CHOSEN _BY _HIM +
++++++++++++++++++++

Nothing phone-related please .

 

[amadeus]

Nothing phone-related please .

You are The Supersonic Hand-Drier

You now have the power to dry your hands faster than everyone around you.

 

[Hygro]

++++++++++++++++++++
+ _EXCLUSIVE OFFER +
+ __FROM _AMADEUS_ +
+ _THIS COUPON EN- +
+ TITLES _YOU TO 1 +
+ FREE NOT-SO SUP- +
+ ER _POWER _TO BE +
+ _CHOSEN _BY _HIM +
++++++++++++++++++++
Yo you said something about a coupon

 

[amadeus]

This coupon is torn. It is invalid:

++++++++++++++
+ _EXC OF +
+ __FROM _AMA_ +
+ _THIS COEN- +
+ T _YOU TO 1 +
NOT-SO SUP- +
+ ER _ _TO BE +
+ _CHOSEN _B+
+++++++++++++

 

[Hygro]

Hey man that first one was on you

 

[The_J]

You are The Supersonic Hand-Drier

You now have the power to dry your hands faster than everyone around you.

TBH, that's quite nice.
I do have some psoriasis on my hands, which is somehow affected by water. So having faster dry hands is actually useful for me .

 

[El_Machinae]

Wouldn’t regular insulation just be cheaper?

It might be. Don't know yet. I'm just trying to turn coins into paper, man.

 

[Hygro]

This coupon is torn. It is invalid:

++++++++++++++
+ _EXC OF +
+ __FROM _AMA_ +
+ _THIS COEN- +
+ T _YOU TO 1 +
NOT-SO SUP- +
+ ER _ _TO BE +
+ _CHOSEN _B+
+++++++++++++

Hey what happened when you called me pennies-man

 

[Takhisis]

Today I opened the thread from my subscriptions page and instead of loading from the earliest unread message it did from the first page, so I got this again:

++++++++++++++++++++
+ _EXCLUSIVE OFFER +
+ __FROM _AMADEUS_ +
+ _THIS COUPON EN- +
+ TITLES _YOU TO 1 +
+ FREE NOT-SO SUP- +
+ ER _POWER _TO BE +
+ _CHOSEN _BY _HIM +
++++++++++++++++++++

Anyone who redeems this coupon will get their free power!

Now, amadeus, you said you would be formal about it and formally you have not established a limit on how , so I'm presenting this second coupon to you.

Also I should like to ask you to clarify whether we can ask for the not-so-super power to be bestowed on somebody other than ourselves.

 

[Sofista]

++++++++++++++++++++
+ _EXCLUSIVE OFFER +
+ __FROM _AMADEUS_ +
+ _THIS COUPON EN- +
+ TITLES _YOU TO 1 +
+ FREE NOT-SO SUP- +
+ ER _POWER _TO BE +
+ _CHOSEN _BY _HIM +
++++++++++++++++++++

 

[El_Machinae]

I took that blue pill so fast that it turned the water in my jar blue and then traveled back in time.

++++++++++++++++++++
+ _EXCLUSIVE OFFER +
+ __FROM _AMADEUS_ +
+ _THIS COUPON EN- +
+ TITLES _YOU TO 1 +
+ FREE NOT-SO SUP- +
+ ER _POWER _TO BE +
+ _CHOSEN _BY _HIM +
++++++++++++++++++++

 

[TheMeInTeam]

You now have the power to exchange any world currency in your physical possession at market rates, but only those of its smallest denominations.

This might be stronger than it sounds at first glance, especially if the market rate for a particular currency gets really close to 0. There's also the risk of a currency becoming literally worthless (per market rate) while technically still existing as a world currency. In principle, this would result in generating infinite quantities of paper from a penny (or any other non-zero currency) if used at the wrong time.

Some interpretations of this power could end the world. Infinite of something is a lot for a finite place. Depending on rate of appearance + how much space is allowed, you might get a black hole, or "just" a planet covered by an ever-growing pile of paper. What a way to go.

Unless the rate of conversion is slow, then you would just infinitely produce paper (and maybe if you're lucky figure out a way to stop it).

 

[Gori the Grey]

I can almost always tell you what time it is, even in the absence of a timepiece.

But if you would like to confer on me another not-so-super power, I would accept it.

 

[Takhisis]

*notices amadeus' sudden disappearance from this thread*