Why do some people completely ignore others they know?

[Manfred Belheim]

I probably should've changed this story so it was a guy ignoring me like this, minus the smiling and any other romantic type details so it doesn't sound gay or anything, so you guys wouldn't have gotten so caught up in the crush and romantic aspects of this.

To be fair, if you'd done that I'd probably just have assumed you were gay anyway. People don't normally tend to overthink things to this degree about people they're not romantically interested in. Yeah, if it was a male FRIEND who occasionally did this it would be worth asking, but as I said earlier, you are still a long way from being able to call this person a friend, or much beyond a vague acquaintance.

 

[sophie]

P.S: Why do you want to have a GF anyway? Find a girl to marry, not hang out in clubs. -Yup I'm a traditional guy- I'm not saying, "don't marry a beautiful girl" but girls nowadays (there are of course exceptions) are just looking for fun. You must have money, you must be handsome/good looking etc. But, you're going to need a real woman when you get old not a party girl.

 

[TheMeInTeam]

To be fair, if you'd done that I'd probably just have assumed you were gay anyway. People don't normally tend to overthink things to this degree about people they're not romantically interested in. Yeah, if it was a male FRIEND who occasionally did this it would be worth asking, but as I said earlier, you are still a long way from being able to call this person a friend, or much beyond a vague acquaintance.

If the scope of the OP's intent is to focus on the "why would a vague acquaintance with only neutral-to-amicable communication so far ignore someone outright, but only occasionally", it might be better to get back on that track, especially because it's a less common line of thought than the romantic stuff despite being probably more common in practice (I have a lot more people that are acquaintances where neither person is interested in more than that than I have or know of romantic interests, and project that such is true for most people).

So, other than social anxiety, what does lead people towards this behavior? I gradually conditioned myself out of it starting over a decade ago so I only vaguely remember my emotions at the time, and it often wasn't a conscious decision to avoid social interactions (and when it was, it was a combo of not wanting to do something and guilt over not wanting to do it that led me to act in ways that I would consider dishonest today, to myself and others. I think it's fair to define that as social anxiety though).

 

[bhavv]

Going here there and everywhere is so boring. I couldn't even chat to friends on social media websites.

 

[Væringjar]

Spoiler :

 

[CavLancer]

....

You Know Cavlancer you are unique

Thats so insane and unique that it may work....Or fail amusingly then you can put it on youtube and you will get girls because everyone loves a comedian!

Its one of those things that would be all in the delivery. Can't get with a bunch of buds and tell them your plan so they stand there and giggle while the comedic line is delivered. Can't be an idiot about it.

It would have to be in a public place but spoken quietly.

Better if one has an apple.

Apple in hand go to girl and say, "Do you like apples?" Then she will start thinking the apple is a gift, but quickly have a bite. That will throw her off, wonder.

Then, "Well, yes?"

Then, quietly, but with conviction, "Ever do it standing up?"

Then while shock sets in pull an apple out of your bag and offer it.

"Want one?" Friendly smile...

Of course I've already over thought this. Best taken on the fly or one would could appear nervous. That's doom, a smack in the face, a "He's weird" to other college girls for all eternity. You would be forever resigned to hitting on the girl working the local 7-11, and those girls all have bulky domineering bfs named Bud. Bud's main pleasure in life is delivering wedgies to guys who hit on his gf at the 7-11, so go in confident, don't think about the wedgies if you fail.

 

[TheMeInTeam]

Yes, you need humor *and* confidence if you want things to be effective. Really that goes beyond the scope of romantic type stuff, it's advantageous in interactions in general, though obviously context-sensitive (when is humor not though).

 

[warpus]

I would advise the reader to not repeat the exercise using a banana instead of the apple.

 

[Væringjar]

I would advise the reader to not repeat the exercise using a banana instead of the apple.

You supposed to help

 

[sophie]

Spoiler :

 

[bhavv]

Why go out when I can be in bed instead???

Mmmmmm, bed!

 

[Væringjar]

Lol!

But, let's not turn this thread to meme battle

 

[CavLancer]

Why go out when I can be in bed instead???

Mmmmmm, bed!

For the young there is adventure and personal advancement outside the door.

 

[azzaman333]

Why go out when I can be in bed instead???

Mmmmmm, bed!

Because bed is better when you share it with someone else.

 

[Borachio]

Depends on who you share with.

Lady Gaga: not so bad. (If a tad disconcerting).

Lady Crocodile: unmitigated disaster.

 

[bhavv]

For the young there is adventure and personal advancement outside the door.

I don't understand how going out and getting completely wasted in a cheapo tacky bar / club counts as either of those things.

 

[azzaman333]

Depends on who you share with.

Lady Gaga: not so bad. (If a tad disconcerting).

Lady Crocodile: unmitigated disaster.

Well yeah, you've gotta pick the right person to share it with, but you have a fair bit of control over that.

 

[CavLancer]

I don't understand how going out and getting completely wasted in a cheapo tacky bar / club counts as either of those things.

Certainly such places make up some small part of the world but not the bits I was talking about.

There is work if you need money, school if you don't. Nature in parks, God in prayer, and the stars of our galaxy spread across the night sky. There's children needing guidance, elderly needing help... Life, you know.

 

[bhavv]

None of those things classify as 'going out', least not in the UK.

 

[Farm Boy]

Whyzat?