Why the search for meaning?

[Borachio]

I guess in an ideal relationship where both parties are pushing themselves & the other to be the best they can be

I'm no expert on relationships either (who is?), but I wouldn't have thought this is a recipe for success at all.

We've all met people who are "trying too hard to be good", haven't we? They're a right pain in the backside.

 

[Manfred Belheim]

I don't look for any meaning in my life. The concept itself doesn't make much sense to me. I look for enjoyment and fulfilment, but those aren't the same things at all.

 

[Borachio]

Isn't meaning synonymous with "purpose"?

In which case, I'd say I have lots of little purposes.

 

[Smote]

This subreddit is kinda interesting:

http://www.reddit.com/r/howtonotgiveaf*ck/top/

replace * with u in url

Basically, consciously decide what you want to care or not care about. Then practice not caring about the things you don't want to care about (and do actions related to what you care about).

 

[Borachio]

By habit, once a decision is made, a brain will continue cooking up more reasons why this action was valid.

"Should I wait for an opening in traffic and turn left or turn right now and come back this direction later?"

You decide to turn right. As it is, you see a friend driving his car and you both wave, thinking, "awesome, it's Matt! I love that guy. I'm glad I went this way." Soon thereafter, you see a dog crossing the road and slow down to let it cross, thinking, "someone else would have hit this dog! Good thing I turned right!"

Turning right had nothing to do with either of these events, unless Matt tends to frequent a particular strip of road where dogs like to cross.

By habit, your thought process works to justify its former decisions. Could you have possibly known these things earlier? No. Did they have anything to do with your decision-making process? No. Are you backwards-rationalizing? Yes.

So what? What's wrong with saying I did a good job?

You want to make good choices in life. A good choice is one made on all the available facts. If you turned left and wound up getting into an accident, you might think to yourself, "Damnit. I should have turned right. Why did I have to turn left? I usually turn right, there must be something wrong with me today."

Front-load your decision making process. Put that extra effort into making the right decision, then make it, and live freely with the consequences. You can spend five minutes justifying your decision to yourself after the fact, or you can spend five minutes doing whatever the you want to do.

Personally, I like looking out the window and watching the trees blow in the wind.

Is that it? Or am I missing some other posts?

Sure, though, this is all well and good. I can't see anything to argue about here.

I'd have said it more succinctly: make your decisions, and make them carefully, then accept whatever the consequences are without regret.

 

[Smote]

Yeah, your explanation is reasonable, though I don't think the quote captures it entirely. It's also about not letting fears of future events stop you from being true to yourself. It's about developing the capability to accept yourself as different than social norms, and that's okay, even when society hates you for it. It's about liberating yourself from fear, regret, and self-hatred.

It's colloquial zen for those who feel restricted by anxiety, pretty much. I like that there's an entire subreddit dedicated to this one idea, because the myriad of examples and explanations helps reinforce it. It's easier to forget one short thing than an entire subreddit full of things, with comments supporting the thing. It's an echo-chamber to help reduce people's anxiety about things that they shouldn't feel anxious about, from their PoV.

 

[Borachio]

Is it also about making your decisions, checking everything that you reasonably can, and then proceeding on your way free of anxiety because you know that you've taken everything into account that you could?

 

[Smote]

Yeah. There's plenty of reasons not to give a f*ck in various circumstances. That is a good example of one of them.

 

[Joecoolyo]

This subreddit is kinda interesting:

http://www.reddit.com/r/howtonotgiveaf*ck/top/

replace * with u in url

Basically, consciously decide what you want to care or not care about. Then practice not caring about the things you don't want to care about (and do actions related to what you care about).

"If Internet Explorer is brave enough to ask to be your default browser, then you should have no problem asking that girl out."

Pure gold

 

[Birdjaguar]

"If Internet Explorer is brave enough to ask to be your default browser, then you should have no problem asking that girl out."

Pure gold

The link is down; the page no longer exists.

 

[Joecoolyo]

The link is down; the page no longer exists.

You gotta add the "u" into the link where the asterisk is.