Worst possible conversation opener

[Farm Boy]

I leik tuttles.

 

[amadeus]

When’s that BAAAABY due?

 

[Broken_Erika]

Hi!i I'm from the Church of Scientology!

 

[Birdjaguar]

When’s that BAAAABY due?

My favorite so far!

 

[Gori the Grey]

By the way, in rendering my judgment, I will take into consideration the number of likes the various proposals draw. It won't be determinative, but it will be considered.

 

[Gori the Grey]

"Everybody told me you're only supposed to participate in one pharmaceuticals trial at a time, but man, I feel great."

Here's the winner, in my judgment.

Literally, one and done. I chuckled over this at the time of reading it and four times after the fact.

I never did figure out the one-eared elephant (unless it's the start of some kind of dad-joke involving a pun on herd and heard). But that's a risk with that kind of entry: remember, I had to not figure it out originally, and then gradually have it dawn on me. So you have to calibrate very carefully regarding my precise level of obtuseness. Bird miscalculated.

 

[Plains-Cow]

LATE ENTRY:

HELLO, DO YOU WANT TO HEAR SOME POLITICAL NEWS?