Would you be comfortable with your child marrying outside your faith?

[Eran of Arcadia]

I agree with the general consensus that interfaith marriages are not a problem as long as both parties have dicussed the issue beforehand.

But how will the parents react? Not that that should ultimately make a difference, I will marry whom I will. I also know that unless the person is a complete jerk, my dad will be happy as long as she is LDS and my mom will be happy as long as she is female.

 

[Elrohir]

I think thats enough said. Learn religious tolerence please. You live in the United States of America.

Xanikk, do you have any clue at all to what religious tolerance, and religious intolerance actually are?

ACTUAL religious intolerance is "Convert to my religion, or I'll stab you with my sword". Saying "I don't believe this religion is true" or that "Christians shouldn't marry outside of their FAITH because it causes problems" is not intolerant. True intolerance would be "Marry outside of Christianity, and I'll kill you", which is most certainly NOT what I am suggesting.

Believing other religions to be false and Christianity to be true is no more religious intolerance than it's scientific intolerance to not allow someone to write their dissertation on "MnMs - the sweet building blocks of the universe". It's not intolerant to not disbelieve something you don't believe is true.

Learn some definitions, m'kay?

 

[Eran of Arcadia]

So, Elrohir, it is obvious you would be uncomfortable- and that's just fine. But would you support them, is the real question.

 

[Xanikk999]

Xanikk, do you have any clue at all to what religious tolerance, and religious intolerance actually are?

ACTUAL religious intolerance is "Convert to my religion, or I'll stab you with my sword". Saying "I don't believe this religion is true" or that "Christians shouldn't marry outside of their FAITH because it causes problems" is not intolerant. True intolerance would be "Marry outside of Christianity, and I'll kill you", which is most certainly NOT what I am suggesting.

Believing other religions to be false and Christianity to be true is no more religious intolerance than it's scientific intolerance to not allow someone to write their dissertation on "MnMs - the sweet building blocks of the universe". It's not intolerant to not disbelieve something you don't believe is true.

Learn some definitions, m'kay?

Nope thats just one definition. By my definition you would still be intolerent.

 

[emzie]

I married a Muslim. I'm an athiest. It's a non issue.

 

[Eran of Arcadia]

With a broad enough definition of "intolerant", almost anyone who doesn't hold the same view as you (the general "you", not Xanikk in particular) would be intolerant.

 

[Xanikk999]

With a broad enough definition of "intolerant", almost anyone who doesn't hold the same view as you (the general "you", not Xanikk in particular) would be intolerant.

I view it as intolerent anyone who opposes thier kids marrying outside of thier faith.

First of all its none of their damn business who their kids marry im afraid.

Being uncomfortable and opposed are two different things.

 

[Eran of Arcadia]

Sure it's their business, it is their posterity at stake. Fact is, everyone cares who their kid marries. It is perfectly normal to be uncomfortable if your child marries a certain type of person. It is not okay if you refuse to go to the wedding, or disown them, or never speak to them again.

 

[Xanikk999]

Sure it's their business, it is their posterity at stake. Fact is, everyone cares who their kid marries. It is perfectly normal to be uncomfortable if your child marries a certain type of person. It is not okay if you refuse to go to the wedding, or disown them, or never speak to them again.

Thats what i said. It is ok to be uncomfortable but i still beileve once your an adult, your parents have no right over you UNLESS you are supported by them or live with them.

 

[warpus]

and secondly, one person would be right and one would be wrong in the end (or neither).

Wait, are you saying that interreligious marriage should be discouraged because one person would end up in heaven and the other in hell?

personnaly i wouldnt marry someone out of my religion simply because there would be too many arguments.

Dude, you are in for a shock. Most of the arguments in your marriage are going to come as a result of a misplaced comb or something similarily insignificant, not a disagreement over the nature of reality

---

As for me, I wouldn't care who my kid married, unless it was a Scientologist or Ken Hovind

 

[emzie]

As to our children, if we have them, we agreed to not impose. The children would know she's a Muslim and I don't go to the Mosque with her. She believes that one cannot believe in any faith if he or she cannot comprehend that faith, thus the children are free to find their own way. If they show interest in their mother's religion, she will nurture them.

Dude, you are in for a shock. Most of the arguments in your marriage are going to come as a result of a misplaced comb or something similarily insignificant, not a disagreement over the nature of reality

Heh, yeah.

As for me, I wouldn't care who my kid married, unless it was a Scientologist or Ken Hovind

Don't believe scientology is a religion. Considering how it treats psychology, I would have a big problem with my child's choice, but I would say nothing.

 

[Masquerouge]

But how will the parents react? Not that that should ultimately make a difference, I will marry whom I will. I also know that unless the person is a complete jerk, my dad will be happy as long as she is LDS and my mom will be happy as long as she is female.

You're right - I guess I did not answer the question. I personally would be disappointed and uncomfortable if my kids marry someone whose values - including religious values - are polar opposites of mine.
But I would not prevent my kids from marrying, unless I feel they're going to be abused or in some sort of danger.
I'll also make sure to let them know how I feel.

 

[amadeus]

My reaction would vary from religion to religion.

 

[Irish Caesar]

I'd have some reservations. But I think I'll get back to you in a while and let you know how I feel once I myself am married. Seems rather silly to speculate about my kids, now...

 

[Elrohir]

Nope thats just one definition. By my definition you would still be intolerent.

1. lack of toleration; unwillingness or refusal to tolerate or respect contrary opinions or beliefs, persons of different races or backgrounds, etc.
2. incapacity or indisposition to bear or endure: intolerance to heat.
3. abnormal sensitivity or allergy to a food, drug, etc.
4. an intolerant act.

That's effectively the only correct definition of intolerance. You don't have to like it, but not liking someone marrying outside of their faith isn't intolerance. That's not opinion, that's just definition.

I view it as intolerent anyone who opposes thier kids marrying outside of thier faith.

First of all its none of their damn business who their kids marry im afraid.

Being uncomfortable and opposed are two different things.

That doesn't make it so - I think you need a new word. I could think that there's a planet named Nibiru that is coming to Earth that is populated by lizard things that love gold - some people believe this, by the way - but that doesn't make it true. Your belief doesn't fit the actual meaning of the word intolerance, thus you need a new one.

As the father of these hypothetical children, it is indeed my business.

 

[Xanikk999]

That's effectively the only correct definition of intolerance. You don't have to like it, but not liking someone marrying outside of their faith isn't intolerance. That's not opinion, that's just definition.


That doesn't make it so - I think you need a new word. I could think that there's a planet named Nibiru that is coming to Earth that is populated by lizard things that love gold - some people believe this, by the way - but that doesn't make it true. Your belief doesn't fit the actual meaning of the word intolerance, thus you need a new one.

As the father of these hypothetical children, it is indeed my business.

I think definition one fits nicely actually. Your unwilling to accept your kids marrying from another religion.

 

[Xanikk999]

I would greatly frown on marrying someone outside of Christianity, though.

You dont call this intolerent? Maybe i misintepreted you but it seems if you frown on them for this then you would accept thier decision..

 

[Elrohir]

I think definition one fits nicely actually. Your unwilling to accept your kids marrying from another religion.

"Unwilling to accept"? I would strongly counsel against it, and would not aid them in this course of action - they can plan and fund their wedding themselves - but I wouldn't tie my children up and stash them in the closet to prevent it.

 

[SuperBeaverInc.]

I wouldn't mind it at all

 

[warpus]

Elohir, it might not be intolerant, but IMO it's very .. hmm.. what's a better word.. I don't know. It promotes divisions within our society.

I don't think that an interfaith marriage would be a problem to most people - but it would be to those who strictly adhere to their religion's edicts, worship in public on a regular basis, actually believe all that their religion preaches, etc. And I'm not talking about the parents here, I'm talking about the actual person getting married.

It's a similar kind of conflict as a .. hmm.. say a Pole marrying an American. We have different traditions - so these have to be worked out. For example, in the U.S. you guys open your presents on Christmas morning, but in Poland we open them on Christmas eve, after dinner. This is of course a conflict and it would have be worked out by the couple.

So unless you have very strong religious feelings, interfaith marriage shouldn't be a problem.